Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for September, 2009

Dear readers,

Thursday, September 17th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Hi! (Waves enthusiastically)
Hope you guys have been well. What day is it? I’ve been away. Almost missed poetry Wednesday and everything! Whew. Angela didn’t even comment. She’s so banned.
Remember John Rocker? Wow, don’t know where that came from?
Um…yeah…we’ve been trying not to ghez blog…but we’ve been thinking lots of ghez thoughts, so it’s been difficult. Oh! We’re taking a writing class. Oh, and we got a new job! And oh, nothing else. Worst. Post. Ever. Sorry.

I bring home the bacon AND cook it up in a pan

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

I’ve always had a tortured relationship with my gender. My mom, screwed out of the little boy she wanted and had a name for, decided to spite the universe by raising me to be the girliest girlie girl you ever did see. The universe respited her by having that girl come home with tears in her stockings, smudges on her dresses and countless missing barettes. The tom boyiest tom boy you ever had smack you on the back and then scream “you’re it.” All my friends have always been boys and I used to just assume it’d be easier if I were a boy too. Of course, I liked being completely pampered and spoiled by my grandfather and uncles in Panama — no way did I wanna be a boy then! They had to carry the water buckets and were always getting yelled at! Girl me right the hell up! So many teachers in my life pulled me aside and tried to explain that life would be hard for me unless I adapted a more traditional gender identity. (These were pre WBNA, Hillary Clinton days) They were right of course, tom boys don’t last. In fact, I only know of one who remains. (I’d link to her golf blog, if I knew how to do that on a blackberry.) So to this end, my drama coach assigned me to perform this poem in what was the last talent show she would ever direct. I rebelled. I’d much rather do my popular Ronald Reagan impressions! She insisted. And, if I say so myself, I knocked it out of the park. I never did become a real girly girl, but I did gain an appreciation for the awesomeness of being me. All of me.

Phenomenal Woman: Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,They think I’m telling lies.
I say, It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,The stride of my step, The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please, And to a man,The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees. Then they swarm around me, A hive of honey bees. I say, It’s the fire in my eyes, And the flash of my teeth, The swing in my waist, And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery. When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see. I say,It’s in the arch of my back,The sun of my smile,The ride of my breasts,The grace of my style.
I’m a woman Phenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That’s me.Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed. I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud. I say, It’s in the click of my heels, The bend of my hair,the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That’s me.

VMA Awards

Monday, September 14th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

So, Kanye West has clearly lost it…however, in his defense, if Beyonce won video of the year for the same video that was nominated in the best female video category, um…shouldn’t she have won that one too?
Eminem’s song? Blah, sounds like all his other parody songs. Like a parody of those songs. Em is dead.
I also am officially so old that the only artists I recognized are the ones from my youth: Madonna (lame and boring Michael Jackson is a hero speech); Janet Jackson (love her), Eminem, Kanye and Beyonce.
Ne-Yo?, TI?, Lady Gaga (though what was she wearing? Is she in witness protection? Islamic?) Who? What? Where?
Oh yeah, I also remembered Pink from when she was a singer…with…er…pink hair. Now? She’s a blond acrobat!
And yes, Beyonce is the classiest woman on the planet. Her parents should be nothing but proud of her. Wow. She is a woman! Nah, THE WOMAN.

Serena faces tennis ban…

Monday, September 14th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

right after she and her sister get us some ratings for the US Open doubles.

Body found

Sunday, September 13th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Police searching for missing Yale woman, find body.

This. Is. NOT. good.

How do I not have a Yale tag?

Song of the Day

Saturday, September 12th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

This is the course I “played” golf on when I visited the Jakes in Utah! So basically, it’s like I was hanging out with Zac Efron the whole time. It’s where we met! Sigh. Do you see his eyes? And his floppy hair? And his smooth dance moves?

Audience Participation Weekend

Friday, September 11th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

So what are fun ways to prove you’re not drunk? (Con’t from comment section on Not So Random Question post below)

What the hell?

Friday, September 11th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Does Annie Leibovitz have a coke problem?

Facebook status of the day

Friday, September 11th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Pearatty always feels like a poseur when she talks about where she was or how she felt on 9-11. Also, when she uses “poseur” instead of “poser”.

(And not just cause she was on the phone…with ME! And she felt angry and I believe expressed a strong desire to bomb things.)

I choo-choo-choose you and there’s a picture of a train

Friday, September 11th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

It’s the simple observations, that often reveal the truth of the matter. When I told him: “Know how I know you loved her? Every time you got the chance, you chose her,” it wasn’t so much opinion, as fact. And that’s how it is with me and football. I’m doing a bunch of football leagues and pools this year and no matter what the question, my answer was The New England Patriots. I drafted Brady with my first pick, even though another QB was ranked higher and there was a good RB available (okay, that was a mistake, but still…it was a mistake I made happily.) I picked my kicker in like the seventh round, just so I could get Gostkowski. In my suicide pool, I picked NE over the Bills. I love the Riots so very much. I just do. Oh, whoops, I guess this should be on my football blog. Oh, wait, it is. And much much more! Go, go now. And comment!
Grin.