Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for June, 2009

Oh man

Thursday, June 25th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

No words about Michael Jackson right now.

Quote of the Year

Thursday, June 25th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

As part of my new commitment to respond to Republican criticism of President Obama and the Democratic Congress, I was tweeting up a storm about all the wonderful changes the Democratic leadership has brought to my life in just five short months. Michael Bates succintly summarizes my ten minutes worth of work thusly:

$700,000,000,000 stimulus = Dawn Summers ‘way employed’ and driving a Beemer. Clearly a sound investment.

hahahahaahahahah

Well played, Sir, well played. #Fist shake

Not so random thought

Thursday, June 25th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Is it wrong that my first response to this post is to start a fundraising drive for a one way ticket to Italy? (Apologies for making you click the link to yet another irrational, Republican screed about how they always support America all the time *except for this one time.* #Facepalm.)

I mean, I would pay, but I’ve got Prince Eli to support now…but I think if we all kick in 10, 20 bucks, we could get this done! Plus, I’ve got a birthday coming up and besides a Kindle, this really would be the thing I want most in all the land!

Oh and, of course, I will personally drive her to the airport and takes me scissors to her U.S. passport. AND THERE WILL BE VIDEO!!!

Dunkin’ Donuts is AWESOME

Thursday, June 25th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

I walk in the store this morning and no one is at the counter. I wait, about a minute, then I give a tepid shout of “hello?” No answer. I start looking for a bell or something, but sigh when I see nothing.
I am getting annoyed.
I say “Hello?” But way more forcefully.
About a second later the guy comes to the front WITH MY LATTE ALREADY PREPARED!
Hee.

Early morning commute ramblings

Thursday, June 25th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Last night, on the way home from the bus stop I saw a girl, about 11 or 12, shove her little sister, about 5 or 6, through a hole in a chainlink fence so the younger girl could retrieve the ball with which they had been playing (You’re welcome, Angela. I look forward to my comment section praise.) This shove included the placement of her foot upon the younger girl’s buttocks and gently applying pressure until the kid tumbled through on the other side. I lost many a ball in my youth. Had I known that younger siblings could be used for ball retrieval purposes, my view on the matter of only childdom might have been changed.

I missed my 4:50 bus this morning because I was spiting my body for waking up before the alarm clock. I decided to sit in bed until the alarm went off and then like for ten minutes more. That’ll teach myself to wake myself up early. NOW WE’RE late! The 5:11 bus crowd is much manual laborery than the 4:50 tie and button down shirt crew. Plus there are no seats on this train. I cry.

Got a seat!

Time to study.

Dude, there are some weird words out there. Ouabain. Emyd. And no. I don’t know what they mean, so don’t ask! Well, fine.
Go ahead.
Ask.
I like comments.

I am so sleepy. I didn’t think there would be so much of a difference between 60 hours a week and 75 hours a week. HUGE. I feel deathy. Hey, you know. I do like twitter, but I miss being able to ramble on for pages and pages and pages and pages.
Hello everybody! (Waves enthusiastically.)
Hey, missusb, are you still out there? I want my tractor ride!

Hello lurkers! Do I have lurkers? If I do, you show yourselves, right this minute or I’m calling the police. HAHAHAHA
Blog police.
Where would they hide? In the code I presume. Hmm… do they also regulate number of sentences without a point? Because we might be approaching said limits. Aw, nertz to that!
Gun it, Thelma, let’s go for it. Or was Louise driving? (Train now is stopped in tunnel between Brooklyn and Manhattan. Between Clark and Bowling Green…no Clark and Wall Street! I found a new slightly shorter commute. I stay on one train all the way, but the walk is three times as long. But now I get my coffee from Dunkin Donuts, so it’s $2.00 cheaper.)

So, my tagline is back to quoting one of my favorite songs. I had a bi-monthly column in my college paper by the same name. Or it might have been a play on that line like “Still Writing After All these years.” I really can’t remember! Dang! I Loved that column!! It was witty, clever, practically perfect in every way. Whenever it came out I would grab armfuls (Armsful?) of the paper and leave them conspicuously about, to ensure my classmates read it. And then I would ask all my friends like vague, hinty questions to see if they had read it yet. Stuff like “so…um…HAVE YOU READ MY COLUMN YET?? HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU?”
And then try to get them to write letters to the editor about how great it was.
They never would. (But you know, if you guy’s were to write letters to the editor of the Yale Daily News imploring them to bring back that great column from (holy shite…13 (???!!!!)) years ago, I bet they would!)
All my letters to the editor were hateful diatribes about how inaccurate my column was. Pout. Stupid conservatives. Well, I’m glad all that stuff is behind me.

Oh my, where are my manners? How are you guys? The kids? Job? Good, good, that’s so wonderful to hear.

What? No, I was totally listening. Tanrecs, scanter, canters, nectars, trances, recants [Dang! Missed one!]…huh? What? Sorry. Thought you were finished.
Fulton!
And thus endeth today’s edition of early morning commute ramblings.
*Bows*

Your stupid

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Read there article, its good and will effect you’re writing in positive ways.

(I am of two minds about this issue. On the one hand: It’s a blog people! You get what you pay for. If I were a meticulous and disciplined writer, I would have a job on a newspaper or would be published in non “click on the shiny blue link” fora. On the other hand: English, motherfucker, do you speak it?)

Sure, I could google it, but…

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Why do all the Apple products have an “i” prefix instead of an “a” prefix?

Now that’s weird…

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

I put Fergie’s Glamorous into my itunes “genuis” playlist generator and it returned a list which included *every* The Spice Girls song!
Which was cool, the Spice Girls rock! Spiceworld was a great album and I hadn’t heard it in ages, but I still thought it was a weird connection for itunes to make.

I LOVE my DVR

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Mary told me Better Off Ted was back, but I was already at work and wouldn’t be back home in time to watch. Lo and behold, my DVR was on it!
Linda: We’ve been drinking all night. How are you sotally tober, when I am completely fitshaced.
Veronica: I don’t know. I’ve always been like this. My body just isnt affected by alcohol that way.

(Mine either!!)

Ted: (Your mom) is letting you have ice cream for breakfast? You’re right sweetie, I don’t let you do that. You know what I do let you do? Get vaccinated.

It’s like she’s not taking the threat seriously

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009 by Dawn Summers

Me: If we’re ever held hostage and need to communicate the phrase “I don’t know” without our captors understanding, we should use that. Ok?
Karol: (rolling eyes) Got it.