Clareified

Where does the good go

Dawn J. Summers

“Oh, it stands for Homer JAY Simpson” – Homer J. Simpson on discovering what his middle initial stands for.

My middle initial is also now J. Dawn J. Summers! (Bet you didn’t know THAT fake Dawn Summers!) And it stands for Jake! Jake the unofficial reason I got started in blogging. See, this girl I went to high school with was “hey, how do I set up an Amazon wish list? There’s this guy that wants to send me books but I can’t figure out how to set it up.” And I was all huh? What’s this now? If I get a blog people will send me presents? I like presents! Gimmee presents! So I set up my blog and waited. And viola! All kinds of presents, but the best present of all was the Jakes themselves. And the Tom Brady jersey. Ari rocks! Ahem, but anyway, the Jakes. My adopted Republican parents from Montana or Minnesota or Utah or sometimes Italy. I think they move around so much so that I’ll never quite just be able to show up with all my bags.
When Karol got engaged, what was has it been now, three? four months? (Bet they have a wedding location and a band all picked out by now! Hahahahaahhaaha. Mwah!) The Jakes wanted to come out to NY and meet inspect the young lad foolish enough to take young Red’s hand in marriage. It was great timing because we hadn’t seen the Jakes since our fabled weekend in Montana two Julys ago. When I still had a gall bladder. Ah, I remember Carlos well.
Anyhoo, as is traditional, I picked out a Broadway show and Karol picked out the restaurants, while Pretty Numbers and Ari provided the beauty and talent. The first night we had dinner at Donatella Versace’s restaurant in Midtown. Adhering to my pledge to wear my bridesmaid’s dress again. I was dressed up in my Qipow. Ari and I met the Jakes at their hotel where Mrs. Jake showered me with all the praise befitting my station.
“My goodness, you look absolutely beautiful Dawn!”
Oh, go on. No, really, go on.
We waited for Karol and the IC to join us, as Pretty Numbers was now doing that Friday Jewish thing that used to make working at Last LLP absolutelyfreakingAWESOME! 3 p.m. ghosttown! Stupid last sundown Summers. Not me, the season.
Anyway, the five…six…okay, I can do this…two plus two plus two…the six of us squeezed around a table in the back of the fluorescently lit restaurant. I did a quick check of the menu—heeey, this is not the menu I saw online! This menu has crap like goats and mussels and I’m pretty sure that is Spanish for dog! The service was painfully slow, so it wasn’t another half hour until the waiter explained that this was just their fancy nightly menu which supplements the menu I saw online. Whew. Steak please! Mrs. Jake participated in their “wine auction” feature where we got to bid on wines…like priceline but in real life and without William Shatner. Her bid was deemed too low, but she would not go higher, so we lost. Or won…I’ve recently entered the world of ebay and I’m still not sure how I feel about losing items to some idiot that just paid thirty bucks more for something than I ever would have. I’m leaning toward win-gow though.
Dinner was absolutely fun. I am the only liberal in the bunch. Though not the only Democrat. Though I am the only voting Democrat. The election was still on the horizon, and I’m pretty sure everyone saw the writing on the wall. The IC was commenting on the ridiculousness of the bailout, during which I made sure to clarify that it was the “Paulson bailout.” No one was quite feeling John McCain, though Palin was oft praised. Remember Palin? Ah man, I miss the election. WHERE IS MY DAMN VICTORY T-SHIRT?!!
At dinner Mrs. Jake ordered a different wine and it was the first wine I’ve had since I took a wine tour in Germany eight years ago, that didn’t make me gag! It was deliciousness!
For dessert we each got one of the desserts…though no one ordered the lollipop tree. And shared them around the table. I skipped the peanut butter stuffed peanut encrusted almond cashew death bar despite Karol’s repeated insistence that I “just have a bite.”
We walked the Jakes back to their hotel and then headed home to prepare for the big day! We had scheduled brunch with the Jakes, then sightseeing with the Jakes, followed by dinner and a show with the Jakes. Karol even said she would let me pick out the brunch restaurant!
I sat at home vetting restaurants based on cost location and menu. I narrowed it down to two awesome choices and then after finding out that they were already booked, I made reservations for the Russian Tea Room. I finally went to sleep at around five, but it was one of those restless sleeps because I knew I’d have to be up early to get to Manhattan for brunch in the morning. At this point, dear reader, are you wondering why I’ve given you so much detail about my diligent restaurant searching, my late night staying upness, my nonsleeping? Do you suspect that all of that may have been for naught because Karol decided to kidnap the Jakes and take them out to brunch herself and not tell me? Because if you suspected that, you are absolutely correct. No brunch or sightseeing with the Jakes for Dawn. Oh no. Dawn got to cancel her hard made reservations and instead have leftover Versace steak in bed for “brunch” while she cried and cried about being left behind.
Sniff sniff poor Dawn.
Luckily, I knew where the dinner reservations were, so I wouldn’t be denied the whole day! It was an Italian restaurant called Scalinetella. Made famous on these pages as the place where Karol promised to take me for dinner if John Kerry lost the Presidential election. And yes, we’re still waiting.
Scalinetella was awesome. It was like your old style dark mobster movie restaurants where the waiters speak Italian and there’s really no menu. Ari and I split the rack of lamb and it was so awesome I vowed that I would never eat anything except that lamb for the rest of my days. What would be the point? (Yeah, we haven’t exactly adhered to that…though I wish I could.)
After dinner we went to see A Tale of Two Cities. (in my pre Jakes visit emails with Jake I had listed three choices for shows I think my order was Jersey Boys (really good reviews, hard to get tickets to), Little Mermaid (really good reviews if you can get over the fact that it’s a Disney movie on stage) and A Tale of Two Cities (Haven’t heard any reviews yet, it just opened, so we’ll call this the ‘Maverick choice’) So I’m not going to say that I was too surprised that we ended up with tickets to it.
The show got off to a slow start, about fifteen minutes in, I almost wrote it off as a Les Miz knock-off – and while I love me some Les Miz, if I’m going to sit in a theater for two and a half hours, I’d rather see the real thing than a cheapie knock off. Happily, the show quickly turned around and was absolutely wonderful. (Although Ari went and ruined it by telling us that the lead plead guilty to statutory rape six months prior. Which was particularly ew because he plays like the “friendly uncle” to the little girl of the woman he loves and every time he’d go near the child, I’d shudder.)
But it was a beautiful show where every life was saved “but one.” And yes, I cried, shut it.
Karol and the IC tried to ditch us after the show because they had to wake up at “noon” to take a train to “Long Island.”
“Really? Noon? Waaa. I have to wake up at six a.m. to drive to Foxborough because I have Pats tickets for tomorrow’s 1 p.m. game. Suck it.”
And that was, as they say, in tennis, game set match.
Pretty Numbers found us a lovely café called Edgar Allen Poe’s on the Upper West Side. I believe I ordered the key lime pie and made the strategic error of ordering the non decaf café latte. Sleep? Who needs sleep before a six hour drive? Not Dawn Summers, that’s who!
The Jakes were telling us that they planned to head out to Vegas in November to spend a few days in Sin City and see Bette Midler.
BETTE MIDLER.
“BETTE MIDLER!” I exclaimed. “I tried to get tickets when I was out there for the World Series, but they were sold out.”
“Well, if you’re in Vegas when we go, you could come with us. And then you could come out to the Utah house.”
Now, I’ve seen pictures of the Utah house before and while I was prohibited from posting said pictures, I will say, it has a pool AND waterfall. So the trip to the Utah house was tempting enough, but with the added Bette Midler seeing, well, who am I to say no. In fact, I think saying no would have been downright rude and I was raised well.
The Jakes gave me the dates that they would be there 15-17. I wrote these dates down in my Treo.
When I got home and fired up Travelocity, I looked at these dates again, just to make sure I got them right and then I promptly bought tickets for the 16-18.
Why? Because I am a moron.
Jake, politely leaving out the “you are a moron” part, emailed me back to say that they would be there the 16-18, and suggested I change my tickets.
D’oh.
Luckily, and here my friends is today’s Clareified: all about education and information moment, Travelocity has this awesome thing where if you want to change your tickets on the same day you bought them, you can do so for just seven dollars because they haven’t yet sent your order to the actual airline yet! Score!
And so it was I, Dawn J. Summers headed out West!

7 Responses to “Dawn J. Summers”

  1. Karol Says:

    You completely mistold the story of the wish list. I was unaware anyone wanted to send me anything. And then I put it up and that very same day Jake bought me three books! Why do you always have to make me sound bad. Don’t make me tell the Jakes to abandon you.

  2. Karol Says:

    I agree with the part about you being a moron.

  3. tae Says:

    So you still don’t know what dates they were going to be there, huh.

  4. DRobbSki Says:

    I miss Ari’s blog posts. She’s a fantastic writer (as are you, Dawn) but I always waited to get questioned by IT about what on earth was actually on a site with that name.

  5. MissusB Says:

    I saw Bette Midler last week in Vegas. She was buckets of awesomeness!
    Enjoy!

  6. Clareified » Blog Archive » Hit of the season Says:

    […] rocking chair looking for inspiration. Emphasis on Spire. So when last we left off, I had weaseled my way into the Jakes’ Bette Midler vacation. Emphasis on Easel. Wow that word does not look right. (It is. –Ed.) The show was Sunday night, […]

  7. Todd wooden Says:

    hey

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