Clareified

Where does the good go

Why should mine be the only exploding head

Why McCain might win: He’s an old white dude. America: Hundreds of years of electing old white dudes.
Why McCain might lose: He’s got a wacky chick who says “betcha” as his number two.

Why Obama might win: Stadium status. He is the most popular figure since…I can’t even pick a person.
Why Obama might lose: He’s relying on a lot of new and lapsed voters. What does inertia say about objects not in motion tending to stay not in motion.

Why McCain might win: Battleground states are trending McCain’s way. Polls show Iowa and New Mexico tied, PA and Florida within the margin of error, Virginia tightening and Zogby says McCain has a one point national lead.
Why McCain might lose: If you believe polls, even these pro-McCain ones, then you have to believe that McCain’s road is an uphill one. He doesn’t just have to hit one inside straight, he’s got to hit about twelve of them in a row.

Why Obama might win: Serious Bush fatigue. Has there ever been a campaign where the sitting President hasn’t gone ANYWHERE to campaign FOR ANYONE? Bill Clinton was impeached and Gore still sent him to Arkansas to campaign for him. Wait…how did that work out for Gore?
Why Obama might lose: McCain’s “socialist” smears are gaining traction. 50 percent believe Obama will raise their taxes regardless of what they earn.

Why McCain might win: Any November surprise will help McCain…unless it involves Palin.
Why McCain might lose: None of his last minute personal attacks :Malcolm X is Obama’s father, Obama supports the PLO or Obama’s illegal aunt lives in a Boston slum, have really made it past cable news coverage where the mythic “undecided voter” has been extinct since November 2000.

Why Obama might win: Has managed to market himself as smart, regular family guy who brings hope and change.
Why Obama might lose: Still a black guy. Ish.

Why McCain might win: End of days personal war hero biography may resonate with voters looking to reward his twenty years of waiting for his turn.
Why McCain might lose: Bob Dole and John Kerry are still waiting for their turn.

Why Obama might win: O.Prah. Op.rah. Opr.ah. Opra.h. Oprah. No matter how you put it, everything she touches turns to gold. Period. It’s like she woke up one morning looked around at her hit television show, hit magazine, billions of dollars, ten sucessful spin-offs and was all “I wonder if I could…no…hmm…well, it’d be funny if I made it a black guy…heh…this could be fun!”
Why Obama might lose: Has not made any use of Oprah during the general. Why she didn’t introduce him at the convention, I will never know. Why he hasn’t parked Oprah in Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania or North Carolina, or Indiana, I’ll never know.

Why McCain might win: America likes divided government.
Why McCain might lose: May have waited too long to make that argument and then quickly swapped it for Joe the Plumber all the time.

Why Obama might win: He’s taller, younger, healthier.
Why Obama might lose: We’ve never had a President whose last name ended in a vowel. Or a black guy.

Why McCain might win: From Drill, baby, drill to Joe-the-Plum-er da-da-da-dadada — the Republicans have catchier slogans.
Why McCain might lose: They still have crappy celebrities.

Why Obama might win: He wouldn’t be very much of an Anointed Messiah if he didn’t.
Why Obama might lose: Everything always works out for Karol.

8 Responses to “Why should mine be the only exploding head”

  1. Eric Says:

    Crappy celebrities? No way, we have Adam Baldwin, who is way cooler than all the other Baldwins put together. And you guys have Screeching Granny, which should count as negative. Can you still call yourself Madonna if you buy red string for $40?

  2. pearatty Says:

    She doesn’t — she calls herself Ethel, now, right?

  3. pearatty Says:

    And “way cooler than all the other Baldwins” still isn’t saying much.

  4. Jamie Says:

    Adam Baldwin *is* cooler than the Baldwin brothers. But that could be because he’s not a Baldwin brother.

    And it’s Esther, not Ethel.

  5. Karol Says:

    If you don’t start linking me at Alarming News I will de-blogroll you. I’ve done it before, lady.

  6. Karol Says:

    Where are my comments?????

  7. Eric Says:

    She’s going by her given name now? I didn’t know that.

    Baldwin was awesome as Jayne Cobb. He was also one of the cast members who showed up to a canceled Firefly convention and spent the whole night drinking and posing for pictures with fans in the Hotel bar. I think that’s pretty damn cool.

  8. Dawn Summers Says:

    He’s a Republican? That’s too bad, but now I no longer have any soft spot for Chuck.

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