Clareified

Where does the good go

Or get off the pot

Is it wrong that I want to punch undecided voters? Yeah, even the 70ish year old Cuban grandma on Good Morning America this morning who was all “jess, I no know who I vote for. Last time I vote joo know for the Bush but now everything bad, so I no know.” NO KNOW?? How about “so now I vote for the Obama!” WTF? Or that even dumber desperate housewife chick who walked to the polling booth so that she could early vote, but went back home because she couldn’t figure out who to vote for? Pow! Right in the kisser.
This is not hard: you want to vote for the creepy old dude with the Napoleon complex? OK. You want to vote for the hot, athletic, melifluous, dreamy, awesome guy with new ideas and two ivy league degrees? Great! Me too! You want to vote for Cynthia McKinney or Bob Barr or Ralph Nader or plan to write in Blair Waldorf? Rock on. BUT YOU DON’T KNOW?? Really? YOU STILL DON’T KNOW? Well, then stay away from me, because I promise, you’re going to get a size nine foot in your ass.

14 Responses to “Or get off the pot”

  1. Pearatty Says:

    Yeah, sometimes I wonder about this whole “one person one vote” thing.

  2. Pearatty Says:

    Like, wouldn’t it be cool if everyone had to take a civics test in order to register to vote? Based on your score, you get more votes. A score of 0 would still get you one vote, but you could get more based on how well you did — capping out at, say, 5 votes per person.

    Unconstitutional, but cool.

  3. Smokey Says:

    Just don’t call me when you need to get bailed out of jail for aggravated assault. I’m too far away.

  4. Ugarles Says:

    You have both been reported to Joe the Plumber.

  5. Pearatty Says:

    Or, say, you could get an extra vote or two for military, or other public service.

    Yeeess, I likes it.

  6. Jake Says:

    I am glad that I convinced you to vote for Palin. But there is a couple of things wrong with your sentences.

    “You want to vote for the hot, athletic, melifluous, dreamy, awesome guy with new ideas and two ivy league degrees?” That is all true about Sarah except she only has one degree.

    “You want to vote for the creepy old dude with the Napoleon complex?” Obama has a Stalin complex not a Napoleon one. I am happy that you have recognized that Obama has turned into an old man by hanging out with 60’s radicals and terrorists his entire adult life.

  7. Dawn Summers Says:

    How about if you are voting Democrat, you get ten votes, if you are voting Republican, you get none.

  8. Pearatty Says:

    Again, all y’all baby boomers, newsflash: the Sixties are OVER. I’m sure it was all very exhilirating/traumatic for you, but it’s over now. Please feel free to enjoy reminiscing with your photo albums of Woodstock and/or seek therapy for your psychic wounds. But seriously, we’ve got a whole new set of issues that don’t entirely fit within that ole Sixties rubric.

  9. Pearatty Says:

    “How about if you are voting Democrat, you get ten votes, if you are voting Republican, you get none.”

    As always, Dawn comes up with the right answer.

  10. tae Says:

    I would be happy to lend you my size 10s for a little extra oomph.

  11. Eric Says:

    How about if you are voting Democrat, you get ten votes, if you are voting Republican, you get none.

    Judging from the news lately, you’re not the only Democrat thinking along those lines.

  12. Ugarles Says:

    How about if you are voting Democrat, you get ten votes, if you are voting Republican, you get none.
    That’s a far cry from giving the military bonus votes.

  13. lj Says:

    lololololol

    awesome post.

  14. Pearatty Says:

    “That’s a far cry from giving the military bonus votes.”

    Well, I’d give bonus votes to Returned Peace Corps Volunteers, too. :)

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