Clareified

Where does the good go

Just a whole day of heartbreak for Dawn Summers

First Edwards cheats on his wife with someone else and now Clay’s got a baby mama. Incidentally, with three names, you’d think they would have tried to make one of them a first name.

RALEIGH, N.C. – Former “American Idol” runner-up Clay Aiken is a father. The 29-year-old crooner from Raleigh announced the birth of Parker Foster Aiken on his Web site’s blog Friday. “No hyphens. One first name,” he wrote. “One middle name. One last name.”

What next universe? Tom elopes with Giselle? Jesse L crushed by truck in highway crossing mishap?

Insert fist shake.

3 Responses to “Just a whole day of heartbreak for Dawn Summers”

  1. Casca Says:

    Hold on a minute there. I’ve seen the Birth Certificate, and the father is some guy named Durkee Turkey Baster.

  2. Ugarles Says:

    I don’t know what is more shocking: that Clay Aiken (allegedly) fathered a child with a woman via sexual intercourse with a woman or that he and I share a naming strategy.

    (NB: There will be no voting for “that Ugarles fathered a child with a woman via sexual intercourse.”)

  3. Ari Says:

    At this rate we’re about a month away from finding out that Abraham Lincoln used to kick puppies and orphans for sport and Gandhi was a kiddie porn collector.

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