Clareified

“Scott, we now know, is disgruntled about his experience at the White House,” she said. “For those of us who fully supported him, before, during and after he was press secretary, we are puzzled. It is sad - this is not the Scott we knew.”

Said former top aide Karl Rove, in an interview with Fox News Channel, “If he had these moral qualms, he should have spoken up about them. And frankly I don’t remember him speaking up about these things. I don’t remember a single word.”

Bush White House lashes out at former Press Secretary. How long before his remains are found floating in a nearby body of water?

My back still hurt when I woke up this morning, so my mother insisted on taking me to the doctor. We walk in and she says hello to the receptionist.
“Are you seeing the doctor today?”
“No, I’m here for my daughter…not the one you know, another one.”
Say…whatcha talking about, Willis?
She then took the sign in sheet and started writing my name.
In big block letter she wrote D A W, getting about half way through, she stopped, showed me the paper and said “wait, is that right?”
Dude.
“Um…are you asking me how to spell my name or are you asking me what my name is?”
She laughed and crossed out what she had written.
“Dude! My name is Dawn. Dawn Summers! You only have one child. This. Is. Unacceptable!”
I signed myself in and my mother just kept laughing.
What.The.Hell!

I was all set to geek out at the amusement park yesterday, when sudden-you’re-getting-mad-old syndrome hit. I was walking to the refrigerator when a pain shot up through my back and I just couldn’t move. I dragged my half paralyzed body back to the couch and tried to twist the pain away. This was unsuccessful and by unsuccessful I mean excruciating. I tried to stretch the pain away with equal “ow that fucking hurts” results. I sat down it hurt, I lied down it hurt. And dude, can I tell you how bullshit an ailment is when it cannot be cured by lying down in my bed with my comforter over my head? Booolssheeet. I texted Alceste for dual purpose of finding out what to do to relieve the pain and giving him his long awaited comeuppance because I am constantly mocking him as “Old Man Alceste” whenever his back craps out during our many trips to the air conditioned city. He told me to lie down flat on my back. This hurt and I figured he was just punishing me further. I took some meds and went to sleep. Stupid thirties.

Just because you expect the worst doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when it happens.

Obama rejects McCain’s proposal for the two of them to travel to Iraq together.

I had quite the weekend. Nothing crazy — you can tell that right off the bat because I didn’t include that word in my title, despite the fact that it rhymes. And I like rhyming. Rhyming is fun. I spent Monday at my mom’s cleaning out the poor person’s version of the attic — that closet at the back of the hallway — I found a book of poems that I wrote when I was little. They were all roses are red, violets are blue poems. Man, I could knock the heck out of a roses are red, violets are blue poem when I was younger. Now, I just don’t think I could commit to the premise enough. I mean, violets aren’t really blue, now are they? But who the heck wants to struggle to come up with rhyming words for purple? Spent Friday and Saturday and Sunday getting my ass kicked in Halo by my friend who is getting married.
We chose this activity because it has nothing to do with weddings. Or fittings or the general going crazy that I am convinced is triggered by the whole getting married. Seriously. I may go back to school just to get a PhD so that I can write a paper about the “Hi, I’m engaged and I’m now batshit crazy” phenomenon.
We went out to Coney Island because one of us bet the other one of us that Coney Island was shut down and being developed into condos. And one of us said that if that were true she would eat her fingers. And since I wasn’t particularly hungry, I was glad to see the Cyclone up and running and the Pirate boat flipping around and around. I love Coney Island so much. When I was fourteen (somewhere back in the 1970s, KJ) I had a job at the New York aquarium. (I was a shark expert and fed the dolphins…not to the sharks…jeez, what kind of a person do you think I am? Oh. Right. Well, nevermind. Anyway, every day after work I would go to Coney Island because it was right next door, and I would ride the cyclone (or the waterlog, on very hot days.) I could only ride one ride because my job was really volunteer work to fulfill my high school graduation requirements, but I would close my eyes and yell and throw my hands in the air with the same careless abandon that I did when I was there all day as a kid (that would be back in the 1800s, KJ). It’s funny, Coney Island was pretty far from where I lived, so I couldn’t go out there just on a whim, so when my friends started to get cars at 16 and 17 and they’d say “oh, where do you want to go?” I would always say Coney Island! Only Karol ever indulged this, though. And even she quit after the third time. But of course, now that I have my own car and could go whenever I want, I never do.
Hmmm…well, anyway, the weekend was a blast, we had all you can eat crabs by the water and cold beer and invented a TV Series — a really good one, waaayy better than Heroes or Lost — mostly because we plan to market it as “Heroes meets Lost.” Hope your weekend’s were good too.
I am going to Coney Island now.

The most comprehensive list of canceled shows.
RIP or in the case of Cavemen, choke, choke, choke and die over and over again for all eternity.

Still stunned that Bionic Woman didn’t make it through the season. Sad about Journeyman and shocked that Girlfriends lasted eight years.

I don’t ever have to leave my bed and then even if I do, I can take it with me. Oh man, this almost makes me forgive them welshing on the promise of flying cars.

HAHHAAH,,,that reminds me, I’ve been watching Last Comic Standing and while the quality was piss poor, there was this one funny joke.
“Man, nobody saw the internet coming. It just came out of nowhere. Do you know how we know no one saw the internet coming? Because on Star Trek you never heard Captain Kirk say “Spok, google vector six”

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - It seemed like an almost literal answer to their prayers. When two New Zealand pilots ran out of fuel in a microlight airplane they offered prayers and were able to make an emergency landing in a field — coming to rest right next to a sign reading, “Jesus is Lord.”

Or parachute?