I was watching this movie with a bunch of friends…I think it was called Cover –there is no need for anyone to see it, it’s a about black men on the DL and what happens to one wife who finds out that her husband’s boyfriend is HIV positive — anyway, at some where the wife is despondent and is cursing God, her pastor tells her this story:
There was a blind woman who hated her life because she was blind. She was unhappy all the time and hated herself. Her only source of joy was her relationship with her boyfriend who loved her very much. She would often tell him that if only she could see, the first thing she would do was marry him. One day a donor was found and the young woman received the eye transplant which restored her sight. Once she healed she opened both her eyes for the first time and saw all the glories of the world around her. But she was surprised to find out that the boyfriend she loved was blind. Disappointed, she told him she couldn’t marry him after all and left him. Distraught, the boyfriend killed himself, leaving behind a note that wished her well and asked her to take care of his eyes.
Now, all my friends immediately were like “what a bitch” “she’s so selfish”, so umm…I said the same thing cause I like to fit in. But in all honestly, I think the boyfriend was a complete dillhole. You don’t give gifts expecting to get something in return. There is a joy of giving that the giver gets entirely apart from any praise from the recipient. And he must have known this, that’s why he didn’t just simply say “honey, how about this. I will give you my eyes, and we will get married.” Instead, he gave a present and he has to be able to accept that she would take his present, thank him for it and then go live her life. She doesn’t owe him anything. I mean, sure, she now has to live with the fact that she’s dumping him for an ailment that he accepted in her, but that’s on her.
But a gift is a gift — it’s something given not something received, right? Though, there is something to be said about maybe really knowing someone before you give them a really nice gift, you know, like your eyes, because buyer’s remorse can suck.