Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for March, 2008

Not so random thought

Monday, March 24th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

The phrase dead meat is redundant.

A review of the Mad Max trilogy

Monday, March 24th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

Oh, I get it. His name is Max, they killed his family and now he’s mad.
Umm…and the sequel was because of the unresolved question of whether he was crazy Max or pissed off Max. He was evidently pissed off truck driving Max. They hinted at this a little in the first one when he handcuffs the guy’s leg to an exploding truck and gave him a hacksaw to cut through his leg.
Of course, in the third movie, when he is saved by.a.monkey., turns out… NO, he’s crazy Max! And look now he’s in Never Never land with the lost boys to prove it! And hey, isn’t that Ike Turner’s wife? What’s love got to do, got to do with it, indeed. NOTHING.
And that ladies and gentlemen, is the story of how Mary ended up on my list. Top five.

Not so random thought

Monday, March 24th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

Evidently, there are people who don’t use the greeting “Good morning, sunshine” sarcastically. Who knew?

Conversation of the Day

Monday, March 24th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

Honda guy: Your front struts are leaking like crazy. They need to be replaced, but we don’t have the parts in stock right now.
Me: Can I drive without them?
HG: Um…they hold the wheels to your car.
Me: Hmm…so that’s a no?

Quote of the Day

Monday, March 24th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

“The only time I run is when I’m chasing the ice cream truck” -my Honda service guy on why he’s probably not going to pass his Navy Reserves PT next month.

Not so random thought

Monday, March 24th, 2008 by Dawn Summers

Since it invariably costs me at least a grand every time I so much as drive my car past the Honda service station, I’m thinking I should just not go twenty more times and put that money towards the new car. Grrr.

Easter Day

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 by Dawn Summers

I love Easter.
This was not always the case. As a youngster I was rather serious about my faith — I was the youngest Sunday School teacher in my parish and was one of ten kids representing Brooklyn at the Catholic World Youth Day in Poland serious. And well, Easter just brings out the one day a year Catholics like nobody’s business. The church was always overcrowded, the smell of perfume was overwhelming and while every other Sunday, I was allowed a place on the altar, on Easter, no women or girls were allowed on the altar, so I had to sit the pews like a…a…commoner. Even now my blood boils a little at the memory. Add to that the fact that my mother would force me to wear white patent leather shoes and some satin and lace abomination of a dress that she spent all Winter having me fitted for and yeah, wow, there was no day I’d rather skip than Easter.
But as the years passed and I went off to college and very quickly became one of those one day a year Catholics, I liked sharing the day with other deliquents like myself. You stand at the back, side by side the others who hadn’t stepped foot in a church since Ash Wednesday and nod knowingly. Gotta love that forgiving Lord stuff.
And recently, the church has sort of turned the Easter mass into a combo mass/baptism. Which means adorable babies in white lace dresses. And who doesn’t love a good ole adorable baby in white lace dresses? Well, except Mary.
I made it to church early today, so I would get my regular seat. My attendance this year has been almost immaculate, so I get to be one of the seated parishioners that looks around with judging eyes at the one day a yearers standing in the back.
The kids this year were veritably Bennetton ad diverse. There was a little Indian from India baby, a little Puerto Rican baby, a bunch of white babies, two African from Africa, parents in dashikis, babies and a couple of American black babies. The little Puerto Rican girl with her two little teeth and pig tails was by far the cutest. And the loudest. Whenever Father Robert went anywhere near her she’d start screaming her head off. And he was all ‘what? It’s not going to hurt!’ Hmm…that just sounds wrong. You pervs.
Of course, the result of combo masses is that it means the service goes on forever. So there were the baptisms and the renewals of faith and singing and the sign of peace giving and then at the end of it all, some guy passing out and Sister Mary having to call the ambulance, and then the fire department having to come help them carry the dude out on a stretcher and then we had to pray for him and then, after all that Father Robert starts thanking all the volunteers who decorated the church with flowers, and the music director and the choir. And everyone is clapping — I hate clapping in church, it’s unseemly. (I’m a bit of a purist who hates most of the changes they made 15 years ago to make the Catholic church seem ‘hip’ and ;fun’ –like gospel singing the prayers, and wishing people happy birthday during mass and welcoming new parishoners…bah. It’s church, not camp.)
And then, just when you think…oh sweet freedom…no…they bring out baskets of plastic colored Easter eggs and invite the children to come up to get them.
And boy, did they come, just hordes of little three foot tall things flooding the aisles. (Babies and toddlers, yes…children, not so much.)
One girl about two rows in front of me, turns to a girl sitting next to me and says “I got a pink duck.”
“So did me and my brother,” the girl next to me reponds.
“Yeah, I ate it,” the first girl says, shrugging her shoulders, “I was hungry.”
That’s pretty much what happens when mass is ninety-five hours long.
Congratulations to all the new Catholics. The famous ones and the not so famous ones.

Not So Random Question

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 by Dawn Summers

Have you ever found a piece of clothing in your wardrobe and, having no recollection of its purchase, you realize you’re not quite sure what it is? I found a…um…thing today…tags still on…that is either a) a Sleeveless T-shirt b) And undershirt or c) a tennis dress. The only thing that is certain is that it is white and fits me.

Politically incorrect with Dawn Summers

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 by Dawn Summers

All babies should be baptized at the hospital. Like immunization shots…JIC.

Heh

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 by Dawn Summers

survivor

I really do like postsecret so very much.