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Vanity thy name is Man

So, I’m at the gym today and there are these two guys using the abdominal machines. I hate waiting for machines, but I hate disturbing the peculiar order of my workout even more. So, I give one of them a quizzical look and he goes “are you waiting for this?” And I say “yeah, but go on, finish…just I’ve never seen guys on this before…usually they do regular crunches down in the weightroom.” Immediately, and I mean, wow, instantaneously, the other guy stops, gets off and heads down to the weightroom. A minute later, the guy I was talking also gets off his machine and goes downstairs.
I wipe off their yucky germs and smile to myself.

Oh, and speaking of vanity and things that just don’t make sense. Why is it that for seven months of convalescence I managed to lose something like 65 pounds by living on a strict diet of narcotics, sleeping pills and apple jacks, but now that I’m actually trying eat salads and chicken and am working out, I’ve gained three pounds?

Bastards.

This entry was posted by Dawn Summers on Monday, March 17th, 2008 at 2:30 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

8 Responses to “Vanity thy name is Man”

  1. BWoP Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    Muscle has a higher weight density than fat.

    Um, I meant that to sound nicer than it did.

  2. Gib Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    Hang on…let me write this down…

    1. Narcotics
    2. Sleeping Pills
    3. Apple Jacks

    This is gonna be the most awesome diet ever.

  3. michelle Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    I’m gonna use that trick at my gym!

  4. Force Majeure Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    You need to spend less time at the gym and blogging and more time playing fantasy baseball. How can you not play this year? What a disgrace.

  5. Casca Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Probably ought to give up the HD ice cream.

  6. Dawn Summers Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    I would give it up…right after I found it and ate it nonstop for two weeks.

  7. pearatty Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 11:18 pm

    Definitely don’t weigh yourself for 6 to 8 weeks after you start working out at the gym — especially if you’re weight training at all. Your fat is turning into muscle. You can lose inches, sizes even, and still gain weight. Too depressing to weigh yourself. If you want a better indication of your progress, use a tape measure and take some measurements, then re-do once a week.

  8. Dawn2 Says:
    March 18th, 2008 at 11:03 am

    You’re just retaining water.

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