It’s gonna be me
Fisch said that at the rate that I buy lottery tickets, if I win the Mega millions jackpot, I’ll be the first winner to just break even. Well, I’m not going to lie I bought a crapload of lottery tickets today. I’ve been chasing this particularl jackpot for two and a half weeks. I mean, I totally fit the profile of the winner. No job, just got out of the hospital, perrenial loner, God fearing church goer…this is my time. I’ve just got to buy enough tickets to hit the right combination of numbers…volume, volume, volume.
February 21st, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I think you’re too young to win. You have to be at least 80 in order to hit the mega mega jackpots.
February 21st, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I’m 80 inside.
February 21st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
I hit a $3 winner with my one ticket in Tuesday’s drawing, so you know what that means.
FREEROLL!
(No, it does not mean I have 3 tickets in tomorrow’s drawing. It means I have 2. The original dollar is back in my pocket.)
February 21st, 2008 at 3:56 pm
What a waste of money, you guys. Stop throwing your money away; I have the winning ticket.
February 21st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Hahahaha…then I will be forced to beat you upside the head and take it from you.
February 21st, 2008 at 10:21 pm
The difference in odds of buying one ticket and 100 is irrelevant. The difference in odds of buying one ticket versus none is infinite. And if you really want to win you have to buy the ticket in the worst part of town. I guess where you live will work too.
February 23rd, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Shit, some toothless cracker in Georgia won the pot. Well maybe it wasn’t a cracker, but I’m still guessing toothless.