Clareified

Where does the good go

How a ten block cab ride cost me $50

I had an interview today. Nothing fancy, but somewhat promising. I was all done up in my black and pink pinstripe suit, high heel shoe and my leg brace. Hottt. Ha! I said shoe, did you see that?
Anyway, after it was done, I limped out into the 20 degree afternoon and instantly started looking for a cab.
Nothing.
I walked two blocks south, still nothing.
I walked two avenue blocks West.
Still zippo.
I had somehow managed to hobble myself halfway back to my office when I spotted an empty cab.
And for some reason, my brain was all “let’s get in it! It’s freezing and we’re injured, we can’t possibly walk back.” Okay, it probably was some satanic demon cause I’d hope my brain would have figured out that we’d already walked most of the way and the remaining ten blocks were the short little street ones. I mean we’re talking simple math. Ohhh, right.
Anyway, I get in.
I tell the cabdriver where I’m going and we move in two inch increments in midday midtown traffic.
All the while a bubbly blond woman is prattling on about latkes at the oldest bagel shop in Long Island. She interviews the owner and he tells her it was his grandma’s recipe. I laugh because he has a handlebar mustache. She gives us directions and then throws it back to the anchorpeople who then banter about what topping they like best for latkes. Umm…caviar…ewww.
They promise a sure fire way to lose the pounds after the commercial break. I am feeling calm and content despite going two blocks in six minutes. Then I see it. Blog letters that read:
Advertise your business here, emal abcnews@taxitv.com
Taxi TV? Holy shit. I’ve been watching tv for the last six gotdang minutes and I didn’t even notice. Fuck! I hit the off button.
It was quiet. Too quiet. Nuts to this, I want the sure fire secret. Oh well, at least I got my money in with the best of it.
Well played Falstaff, well played.
Besides, if I don’t watch Heroes and go comment on Fisch’s guest post I think he’s going to wet himself.
Again.

12 Responses to “How a ten block cab ride cost me $50”

  1. Anwyn Says:

    That sounds like something that would happen to me … I’d totally have it under control on the willpower side … for a change … and then bam, accidental breakage.

  2. Anwyn Says:

    I hope something comes of your interview.

  3. Joe-Unimpressed Says:

    I wish I had taken the bet! Though I was going to take Falstaffs over, so I would have lost it to him anyway.

  4. Joe-Unimpressed Says:

    also, when I read “bubbly blond woman is prattling on about latkes ” I was confused. I had to go back to the beginning and re-read. Where did this blonde come from? Nope, sure enough, she said the cab was empty. Ok, oh silly me, RADIO! Wait, let me re-read this, “I laugh because he has a handlebar mustache.” How does she see his mustache on the radio??? She can’t be…. no… she couldn’t be… no she wouldn’t! OMG She’s watching TV!!!

  5. Karol Says:

    Wow, that was really….unimpressive.

  6. Dawn Summers Says:

    Dude, who knew I had to be on the lookout for tv in a cab? Not me.

  7. F-Train Says:

    The first thing I do when I get in any cab that has one of those stupid TVs is turn it off, usually because if I’m in a cab, I’m with someone else (I rarely splurge for cabs on my own) and the TV is incredibly distracting.

  8. F-Train Says:

    Oh, and

    HA HA! (nelson muntz style)

  9. Charles Says:

    I think the accidental TV would have been forgiven if you didn’t really consider this the best $50 you’ve ever spent.

  10. Dawn Summers Says:

    As long as I didn’t lose to you, I’m okay with it, assface.

    Thanks, anywn, me too.

  11. Casca Says:

    Shit, I should have got some of that action! Who knew that walking by an electronics store could have caused a win? Please put me on the list to take your money next year.

  12. Charles Says:

    Hey F-Train, I think this assface is yours.

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