Clareified

Kill me. Just kill me.
(more…)

TV Writers poised to strike

Dawn: So on 30 Rock, Tracy mangled the Star Spangled Banner while at a baseball game, so he walks into Jack Donaghy’s office and he’s like “Jack is ‘desecrated’ a bad thing?” And he shows him a clip of the song and Jack is all “don’t worry Tracy, you’re a celebrity, you’re a star. This is what you do. It’s my job to fix it. So don’t you worry, you go out there and be your crazy self, the only thing you can’t do is dog fighting. Cause it’s the one thing America won’t forgive and I can’t help you.” So Tracy leaves Jack’s office and immediately tells his Entourage to go get him some dogs because even though he thinks dog fighting is vile and inhumane, it’s the one thing Jack told him not to do, so he’s got to do it.

Karol: (Silence)

Dawn: Yeah, well, bite me. You spend two weeks in bed and see what you end up talking about.

———————————————————————————————————————–
Dawn: Did I tell you how much my foot hurts.
Karol: Yes.
Dawn: I did? With the foot? And the pain?
Karol: Yes.
Dawn: Hmm…okay…um…I got a different story
Karol: No you don’t.

Okay, what I’m going to say needs to be prefaced by 1) I’ve been in bed pretty much nonstop for two weeks 2) I decided to get out of bed today, but made it only so far as my living room 3) In my living room there is a 65 inch TV:

That said…

Boy that Hannah Montana show is pretty good. Who wants to get me the soundtrack?

On why Bree should be the one to talk to the new gay neighbors:

“Your son came flying out of the closet and your husband’s looking for the doorknob.”

Baahahahhahahahaah

My laptop has an evil monster in it.

Marc: You think he’s out of my league? He’s a nine, I’m an eight.
Amanda: He’s a ten, you’re a six.
Marc: You’re a bitch, I’m a seven.

Hahahahah and if I ever figure out graphics, I’m so posting Barney’s Crazy vs. Hot graph from How I Met Your Mother

UPDATE: Okay, still no graphing skills, but Karol found a summary of the funny:

2) Barney’s graph about online women was freakin hilarious! You have a graph of Crazy vs. Hot and the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal below which the girl is too crazy to date and above which is so hot that you ignore the crazy. (AKA “she’d stab me, then lose 10 pounds.) I also like his mention of the Shelly Galesby Zone which was a crazy zone dedicated especially to the insanity exhibited by a women he once hooked up with.

Former NYC Mayor vows to marry everyone who sneaks into the country for as long as it takes to make them citizens.

In their defense, a permanent solution to a temporary problem is still a solution.

HONOLULU - Another actor on the hit TV series “Lost” was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Thursday by Honolulu police — the fourth actor on the ABC series to run into trouble with the law while filming in Hawaii.

Daniel Dae Kim, who plays Korean tough guy Jin-Soo Kwon, was taken into custody before 3 a.m. local time, police said. He was booked at the downtown police station and released

I’m starting to think that the island’s secret is Jim Beam.