Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for September, 2007

Hold ’em!

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Philly loses. Five more to go.

Bill O’Reilly…unsurprisingly still a jackass

Wednesday, September 26th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

After sitting down to eat coconut shrimp at Harlem’s most famous soul food restaurant with the Rev. Al Sharpton, the talk show host told his radio listeners he was surprised that Sylvia’s was a perfectly normal, civilized restaurant.

“I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. It was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks [and has a] primarily black patronship,” O’Reilly said. “There wasn’t one person in Sylvia’s who was screaming, ‘M-Fer, I want more iced tea!'”

My favorite part, is his defense of himself last night:

The ever-obstinate O’Reilly insisted on “The O’Reilly Factor” last night his remarks were meant to show “there was no difference” between whites and blacks and “stereotypes are not true.”

Really? No difference between whites and blacks! Stereotypes: Not True! Well, well Bill O’Reilly welcome to the 1960s. Next up: asbestos: actually not good for you.

Heroes Spoiler poetry

Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Mohindar is still hot
Nathan is not
Claire is dumb
Peter looks numb
It’s good to see Sark
Hiro’s off on a lark
Like the girl who takes lives
Sad no one has anymore wives
What a blah episode
Well, this does not bode

124.4 pounds of gamble

Monday, September 24th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

F-train: But I know something you don’t know
Me: Are you pregnant? Cause if you are (insert fist shake)

So, my wagering is fully grown and now includes participating in the sick “can Ftrain gain 17 pounds in 2.5 months” prop bet AND offering him insurance on the ever increasing prize pool. But I’m actually looking forward to the end game on this one, either this is easiest $100 bucks ever made or, as Alceste pointed out yesterday “if F-train ends up with a big old beer belly in December it’ll be the best fifty bucks I ever spent.”

Game? On!

Fantasy Football: Year six

Monday, September 24th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Team is totally defeated and in last place.

Movie review

Monday, September 24th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Okay, all kidding aside, 3:10 to Yuma was fantastic, despite the cryptic title. Russell Crowe is flawless and what starts out as a cliched tale of a hapless farmer’s struggle to keep his land despite the big bad railroad corporation… turns into a funny, edge of your seat battle of wits between Batman and the Gladiator. Even the little boy character, which I usally hate, wasn’t that annoying.
The ending is not a surprise, but kind of a surprise, so that makes it a surprise. Just really great.
And it’s got some great lines, and some even better kill scenes. And you know how Dawn loves her kill scenes.

Dating in the 21st Century

Monday, September 24th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

In preparation for my upcoming return to East Coco Beach, I decided I needed a TV in my old bedroom.
Of course, since my mom threw out my old twin bed and replaced it with a fullsize pullout, there was no place to put a regular TV anymore. (Yes, right there, that’s the ‘so I had no choice but to get a flat screen LCD and have it mounted on the wall even though I’ll only be there for three weeks’ rationale. Just in case you missed it.) So, I was forced to get a flatscreen TV for the room.
My mom and I went with my baby cousin David, who…um…I suppose at 25 years old, is not so much a baby anymore, but you know, if I can remember flipping you upside down at my whim, you’ll always be a baby. (As a sidenote, myspace informs me that my even babyier cousin is turning EIGHTEEN tomorrow! How sick is that? And to her credit, she’s got two less kids than her mom had at her age, so there’s that.)
Anyway, so we go with him, both to use his employee discount privileges and because my mother doesn’t believe girls know anything about electronics, installation or assembly of any kind. And don’t bother pointing out that this attitude is precisely why I don’t know anything about electronics, installation or assembly of any kind, so that she has created a self-fulfulling paradigm for herself, it’s been done and dismissed.
(Wow, so lately I’ve been having my posts described as “stream of consciousness” and I was all “What? It’s not stream of consiousness, every line naturally flows from the line before, who the hell do these people think they are?” But…um…yeah…wow…this post…all over my lobes. – Ed.)
So, we’re in the store, deciding on a television…we finally settle on a 37 inch, Toshiba. We like. It’s nice. It’s my birthday. And as the salespeople are ringing up the order and selling us the “insurance deal,” I overhear my cousin totally hitting on this salesgirl.
“You’ve got beautiful eyes, do you know that?”
And she’s all giggling and I’m just like oh, hellll no.
“Dude,” I say to him glaring.
“I’ll be back,” he tells the girl and comes over to me “what’s up?”
“‘What’s up?’ Dude, are her eyes more beautiful than your girlfriend’s of five years’ eyes?” Yeah, try saying that three times fast.
“What? I wasn’t doing anything. We were just talking.”
“My ass.”
“No, really.”
“Dude, you want to hit on girls or go out with other girls, then dump Daphne, don’t be a douchebag. She’s not your wife, you’re not obligated to stay with her. You want to cheat on her, just break up with her. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to yourself, you’re better than that…you are better than that, aren’t you?”
He laughed. “Yeah, I swear, I’ve never cheated on her.”
“Uh huh.”
“Nah, nah, I swear…okay, I won’t talk to any more girls…when you’re around.”
Now I laughed.
“Fine. Good enough. Cause next time, I’m telling the girl you’ve got two kids.”
“Dude, Dawn, she’s probably got two kids.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Ah, the times, they are a-changing.

What an interesting Youtube Video

Monday, September 24th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Intelligence Squared US debate last Tuesday in NY, Natan Sharansky thinks the spread of democracy is a good idea. I guess they didn’t beat that out of him in the gulag.

3:10 to Yuma

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Ohhhh, it’s a train. To Yuma. At 3:10.

President Bush kills President Mandela

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007 by Dawn Summers

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) – Nelson Mandela is still very much alive despite an embarrassing gaffe by U.S. President George W. Bush, who alluded to the former South African leader’s death in an attempt to explain sectarian violence in Iraq.

In a speech defending his administration’s Iraq policy, Bush said former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein’s brutality had made it impossible for a unifying leader to emerge and stop the sectarian violence that has engulfed the Middle Eastern nation.

“I heard somebody say, Where’s Mandela?’ Well, Mandela’s dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas,” Bush, who has a reputation for verbal faux pas, said in a press conference in Washington on Thursday.

In other words, Saddam had to die because he killed Mandela. One small problem, of course, Mandela asserts his aliveness.

Douchebag, that’s how the terrorists win.