Clareified

Where does the good go

Dating in the 21st Century

In preparation for my upcoming return to East Coco Beach, I decided I needed a TV in my old bedroom.
Of course, since my mom threw out my old twin bed and replaced it with a fullsize pullout, there was no place to put a regular TV anymore. (Yes, right there, that’s the ‘so I had no choice but to get a flat screen LCD and have it mounted on the wall even though I’ll only be there for three weeks’ rationale. Just in case you missed it.) So, I was forced to get a flatscreen TV for the room.
My mom and I went with my baby cousin David, who…um…I suppose at 25 years old, is not so much a baby anymore, but you know, if I can remember flipping you upside down at my whim, you’ll always be a baby. (As a sidenote, myspace informs me that my even babyier cousin is turning EIGHTEEN tomorrow! How sick is that? And to her credit, she’s got two less kids than her mom had at her age, so there’s that.)
Anyway, so we go with him, both to use his employee discount privileges and because my mother doesn’t believe girls know anything about electronics, installation or assembly of any kind. And don’t bother pointing out that this attitude is precisely why I don’t know anything about electronics, installation or assembly of any kind, so that she has created a self-fulfulling paradigm for herself, it’s been done and dismissed.
(Wow, so lately I’ve been having my posts described as “stream of consciousness” and I was all “What? It’s not stream of consiousness, every line naturally flows from the line before, who the hell do these people think they are?” But…um…yeah…wow…this post…all over my lobes. – Ed.)
So, we’re in the store, deciding on a television…we finally settle on a 37 inch, Toshiba. We like. It’s nice. It’s my birthday. And as the salespeople are ringing up the order and selling us the “insurance deal,” I overhear my cousin totally hitting on this salesgirl.
“You’ve got beautiful eyes, do you know that?”
And she’s all giggling and I’m just like oh, hellll no.
“Dude,” I say to him glaring.
“I’ll be back,” he tells the girl and comes over to me “what’s up?”
“‘What’s up?’ Dude, are her eyes more beautiful than your girlfriend’s of five years’ eyes?” Yeah, try saying that three times fast.
“What? I wasn’t doing anything. We were just talking.”
“My ass.”
“No, really.”
“Dude, you want to hit on girls or go out with other girls, then dump Daphne, don’t be a douchebag. She’s not your wife, you’re not obligated to stay with her. You want to cheat on her, just break up with her. What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to yourself, you’re better than that…you are better than that, aren’t you?”
He laughed. “Yeah, I swear, I’ve never cheated on her.”
“Uh huh.”
“Nah, nah, I swear…okay, I won’t talk to any more girls…when you’re around.”
Now I laughed.
“Fine. Good enough. Cause next time, I’m telling the girl you’ve got two kids.”
“Dude, Dawn, she’s probably got two kids.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Ah, the times, they are a-changing.

8 Responses to “Dating in the 21st Century”

  1. Karol Says:

    You’re gay. No wonder our little brother likes me more.

  2. Dawn Summers Says:

    You don’t have a little brother.

  3. Karol Says:

    He just told her she has beautiful eyes. SO. WHAT. He probably made her day and who was hurt by it? I don’t mind if my man compliments other women as long as he’s not doing it while in her bed.

  4. Dawn Summers Says:

    Oh my gosh, Karol disagrees with Dawn!!!! Stop the presses!!! News at 11!!

  5. Karol Says:

    ON EVERYTHING.

  6. Dawn Summers Says:

    Except on our mutual hatred of bananas.

  7. Karol Says:

    I love bananas!

  8. Dating » Dating in the 21st Century Says:

    […] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptIn preparation for my upcoming return to East Coco Beach, I decided I needed a TV in my old bedroom. Of course, since my mom threw out my old twin bed and replaced it with a fullsize pullout, there was no place to put a regular TV … […]

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