Clareified

I had been practicing the line for days.
“So, are you going to spoof anymore HBO shows for your commercials? Or are you leaving Big Love to Mitt Romney.” Smile and prepare to laugh appropriately.
It was just a few seconds, shouldn’t be hard. (In the interest of full disclosure, Karol wrote the line for me when I told I her I was going to meet Hillary Clinton in a few days and didn’t want to choke.)
No sirreee Bob, no choking here.
I was once again the VIP guest of a candidate running for the nomination of my party and I was going to take full advantage of that access to speak my mind.
As per usual, I laid out an obscene amount of money for the privilege, but this time I had a few friends working behind the scenes so I was promised all the water I could drink and a definite face to face with the woman of the hour.
Now, I have been skeptical about the Hillary Clinton candidacy for a long time. I just didn’t see the country welcoming 1) a woman as President (especially women, because we’re bitches and we totally hate women and since females make up the bulk of voters… 2) This particular woman who comes with more baggage than Imelda Marcos from a show store. I mean, why, when it seems like the White House is ours for the taking could the Democratic machine not find some regular, passable, white dude to stick on the ballot. Safe, you know?
But after my failed attempt to get excited about Obama, and my acceptance that Kucinich wasn’t going to win, I needed to get on board with a candidate for the primary, so I accepted the invite to meet Senator Clinton and practiced my mini speech.
Especially the laugh appropriately part.
The line was already around the corner when I arrived about ten minutes early to the nightclub where the shindig was being held.
I checked in, got my schmancy VIP room bracelet pass and prepared for an extensive wait. Senator Obama was darn near three hours late and well, this was Hillary Clinton…
Happily, about 30 minutes in, the ushers said the Senator had arrived and would be meeting with us in a few minutes. I walked into the VIP room and it was packed with about 100 people — though it was well-lit and airconditioned, so it wasn’t at all uncomfortable.
I ran into a friend from Old LLP (and a partner who, although I worked with her for a good two weeks during my tenure there, made no sign that she even knew who I was.) Now, this friend had a crazy hyphenated last name something like Gonzalez- O’Mallory because her husband was Irish, but she was Latina. And I would always make a point of using her whole name when greeting her “Hello Iris Gonzalez-O’Mallory,” I could be heard to shout through the cafeteria. And even after she dropped the Gonzalez and just went with her married name, I stuck to my traditional greeting.
A few years ago, I heard that she was divorced and this was the first time I’d seen her since then. Our eyes met pretty much at the same time, and as if reliving her association with me post-traumatic stress disorder style, she quickly said “Hi, Dawn. It’s just Gonzalez now.”
Gulp.
“Yeah…I heard. Sorry.” And just when I was about to say something derogatory about the bum - who in this case, actually really was a bum, the little voice in my head was all “no, dude.” So I went with the ever neutral “How are you doing?” And she said “Good. It was very amicable. We’re still friends.” Whew. We call that a win for my schizophrenia.
By now, the Senator had started greeting the folks at the beginning of the line. She shook hands with each person, and spent some time chit chatting and laughing while a professional photographer took photos.
As I made my way toward the front of the line, I started to panic. I can’t make fun of mormons!! I mean, what if she laughs and someone overhears and then it’s like a huge scandal and it’s all my fault we get President Giuliani *shudder.* So I decided to go with the more sychophantic “I always thought I was going to be the first woman President, but if it can’t be me, I’m glad it’s you.” But then, I heard someone in front of me say something similar, so I scrapped that in favor of “Actually we’ve met before. I was a White House intern.” But well, you can imagine why I ended up scrapping that. Then I was going to tell her that earlier that night I heard a rumor that she was going to be salsa dancing.
Yes! Perfect! Not cheesy, not controversial and hey, if she actually salsa danced she’d have to give a shout out to the Gimp from the VIP lounge!
Done and done.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
And there I was… two people away, her handlers asking me if I also wanted a picture with my own camera, me stammering yeah — and settting the camera up.
She was deep in conversation with the woman in front of me — the aforementioned Iris Gonzalez. They were talking like old friends. How do people do that!!!??? Don’t they know she’s HILLARY CLINTON!!!
OHMYGODOHMYGODOMYGODOHMYGOD.
And then this happened:
Handler: Okay, go on.
Hillary Clinton: Thanks for your support.
Me:
Handler: Okay turn and face the camera
HC and I both face the camera.
Hillary Clinton: Thanks for coming.
Me:
I took my camera and sulked out of the VIP lounge.
I suck so much.
I asked Iris what the hell she was talking about so long.
“Oh, I told her I was President of the Hispanic Bar and that we were all excited to have a candidate who supported Latino issues and I wished her luck.”
Fuck. Wishing luck, yeah, I coulda done that.
We all took our seats for the speech.
The woman that introduced the Senator totally screwed up. It was like watching a train wreck. I guess she decided that she didn’t need to write anything down, but then decided to write down “points” because she ended up repeating the same sentence something like 45 times “Hillary Clinton will be the next President of the America” That’s right. Her one sentence wasn’t even that good. I couldn’t watch.
But when Senator Clinton took the mic, it was pure smooth.
The event was hosted by Latinos and Latinas for Hillary Clinton.
So, she began by thanking her introducers and the certain people she knew by name and then she said “It’s great to be here with Latinos and Latinas for…Me.”
I laughed so hard.
As did everyone else.
She then went on to say she loved coming home because New York was the best state in the best country in the world and the audience went nuts. From there she just hit a stride that reminded me what a politician is supposed to look like.
“The Bush administration has created a class of invisible people. Minorities, poor people, single mothers and God help us, even the members of the military. Well, I see you.”
Huge applaud.
She laid out plans for college assistance programs, but also for apprenticeships for young people who don’t want to go or can’t go to college. She laid out her plans for universal health care and universal kindergarten.
It was a great speech and she had the audience with her the whole way.
I was so impressed that I actually felt sorry for the other Democrats in the primary. I haven’t been watching the debates, but dude, she is going to eat them alive and crap them out the next morning.
The night ended with a thunderous standing ovation and I left energized and planning to volunteer.
And then I remembered that I was a lazy slacker, so that probably wouldn’t happen — but hey, you all should get on board now.
She is our best chance for taking the White House next year. I mean in 2009. Stupid George Bush presidency till 2009.
Groan.

This entry was posted by Dawn Summers on Thursday, September 20th, 2007 at 12:43 pm and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.