Clareified

My college roommate, Emerald sent me an email last week saying “Good plan to schedule your vagotomy
after the Bahamas..the frozen margaritas will go down much better :)” Do these count as doctor’s orders? I mean, she is a doctor and the smiley face is as clear a medical signature as I’m likely to see for a while.

Karol: My brother had a poker tournament in our kitchen and he was like ‘No, Karol, you’re not invited. Sorry.”
Ron Lad: I didn’t say you weren’t invited. I said “beat it.”

Backgammon blog!

I am currently the undefeated champion of the world after having just learned to play today.

“If the question ends with the phrase ‘to save your life,’ the answer is yes.” -Dawn Summers after four hours of pre-op questioning. I mean honestly.

Alanis Morrisette is my anesthesiologist. Therefore, it should not have come as a surprise when she responded to my question with the words “well, okay, like, you know how rock stars always die from drug overdosing?”

How come no ever called Chugarte, Ugarles?

After months of denying involvement, yesterday the Atlanta quarterback admitted criminal wrongdoing.

Vick held a brief press conference after appearing in US District Court where he pleaded guilty to the same single charge as his three co-defendants did in recent weeks – conspiracy to travel in interstate commerce in aid of unlawful activities to sponsor a dog in an animal fighting venture.

Vick then went to say:

Unlike his co-defendants, Vick, in a statement of facts submitted to the court on Friday, did not admit to actually gambling on dogfights or taking part in the killing of dogs.

The summary stated that Vick paid for the house, in Surry County, Virginia, where the dogs were kennelled and where numerous fights were staged.

So, he didn’t actually kill any of the dogs himself nor did he profit from the gambling.

I have to say I am both disappointed and offended as both a hater of dogs and a gambler.

and now they’re shopping at WalMart.

WEST BEND, Wis. – Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers: The emu in the parking lot is not for sale.

Employees of a Wal-Mart Supercenter used shopping carts to corral a wayward emu outside the store Monday about 6 a.m., West Bend police said.

Yessssss.

Immediately forgets whether it was his choice or if he was asked.

When Gary and Karen showed up, we made our way onto the deck and had an incredible meal. Aletia’s tortellini salad was not to be believed. We chatted amiably and I even threw out some good jokes. Thanks Dawn for the ‘black’ joke. It went over huge.

Answer: “The pilot, you racist”