Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for August, 2007

Funny things I forgot to blog

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

My college roommate, Emerald sent me an email last week saying “Good plan to schedule your vagotomy
after the Bahamas..the frozen margaritas will go down much better :)” Do these count as doctor’s orders? I mean, she is a doctor and the smiley face is as clear a medical signature as I’m likely to see for a while.

Karol: My brother had a poker tournament in our kitchen and he was like ‘No, Karol, you’re not invited. Sorry.”
Ron Lad: I didn’t say you weren’t invited. I said “beat it.”

Next up…

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Backgammon blog!

I am currently the undefeated champion of the world after having just learned to play today.

Quote of the Day

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

“If the question ends with the phrase ‘to save your life,’ the answer is yes.” -Dawn Summers after four hours of pre-op questioning. I mean honestly.

Most awesome medical explanation

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Alanis Morrisette is my anesthesiologist. Therefore, it should not have come as a surprise when she responded to my question with the words “well, okay, like, you know how rock stars always die from drug overdosing?”

Not so random thought

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

How come no ever called Chugarte, Ugarles?

Michael Vick pleads guilty to role in dog fighting operation

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

After months of denying involvement, yesterday the Atlanta quarterback admitted criminal wrongdoing.

Vick held a brief press conference after appearing in US District Court where he pleaded guilty to the same single charge as his three co-defendants did in recent weeks – conspiracy to travel in interstate commerce in aid of unlawful activities to sponsor a dog in an animal fighting venture.

Vick then went to say:

Unlike his co-defendants, Vick, in a statement of facts submitted to the court on Friday, did not admit to actually gambling on dogfights or taking part in the killing of dogs.

Most of the ‘Bad Newz Kennels’ operation and gambling monies were provided by Vick,” the statement said.

“When ‘Bad Newz Kennels’ won a particular fight, the gambling proceeds were generally split by Taylor, Phillips and, sometimes, Peace.

“Vick did not gamble by placing side bets on any of the fights. Vick did not receive any of the proceeds from the purses that were won by ‘Bad Newz Kennels’.”

The summary stated that Vick paid for the house, in Surry County, Virginia, where the dogs were kennelled and where numerous fights were staged.

So, he didn’t actually kill any of the dogs himself nor did he profit from the gambling.

I have to say I am both disappointed and offended as both a hater of dogs and a gambler.

First the animals attack with teeth and claws…

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

and now they’re shopping at WalMart.

WEST BEND, Wis. – Attention, Wal-Mart shoppers: The emu in the parking lot is not for sale.

Employees of a Wal-Mart Supercenter used shopping carts to corral a wayward emu outside the store Monday about 6 a.m., West Bend police said.

Be a republican, be a republican, be a republican

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Yessssss.

Attorney General Resigns

Monday, August 27th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Immediately forgets whether it was his choice or if he was asked.

For the drizzle, Jamie. For the drizzle

Friday, August 24th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

When Gary and Karen showed up, we made our way onto the deck and had an incredible meal. Aletia’s tortellini salad was not to be believed. We chatted amiably and I even threw out some good jokes. Thanks Dawn for the ‘black’ joke. It went over huge.

Oh, for those of you who don’t know the ‘black’ joke, here it is in all it’s glory:

Question: “What do you call a black guy who drives a plane?”

{Stunned silence from the audience who are now giving you looks that would make a Nazi feel politically incorrect)

Answer: “The pilot, you racist”