Truth hurts
My mother was brutally honest with me when I was growing up.
“This macaroni is not glued on straight,” “you missed your second to last line in the Christmas pageant,” “no, that is definitely not where babies come from.”
An unusally high number of my friends share this “telling it like it is” trait.
Like if they saw an ugly baby and the mom was all “isn’t my baby adorable?”
They’d say “not really.”
This leads me to shake my head and cover my face. As such blunt honesty, or any honesty at all, is not the Dawn Summers way. Over the past year, I have tried to explain to these people why the ability to actively hold your tongue or even lie outright is not only good, but sometimes the most humane way to handle a situation.
“But I don’t want to be fake,” they’ll say.
“It’s not about fake or genuine, it’s about mercy…empathy…society. Welcome to it.” I’d say between horrified expressions.
And sure, the stories that they tell of their interactions with others— funniest stuff you’ll ever hear, but there’s a reason that they say “Honesty is the cruelest game of all, because not only can you hurt someone - and hurt them to the bone - you can feel self-righteous about it at the same time.”
There’s a time and place for honesty…like…um…well, even if I can’t think of it right now, I’m sure there is, but it’s certainly not something anyone needs all the time.
Or even most of the time.
Discuss amongst yourselves.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:24 pm
I thought “I’m just being honest” as an excuse for saying hurtful things went out with junior high school. If it’s helpful, or someone has directly asked your opinion, fine, find a tactful way to tell an unpleasant truth. But uncalled-for brutal honesty is the mark of the sanctimonious sadist.
May 22nd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
I would never call a baby ugly.
I am at my most brutally honest when someone else’s lies have gotten so out of hand that niceness can no longer be a consideration. So, um, people should think about that.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:42 pm
It’s never necessary to call a baby ugly. In response to “isn’t it adorable?”, you can say “wow, she’s so tiny! Look at those little toes!” See, easy.
This comes in handy because there are some fugly babies out there. Not of anyone who reads this blog, though. Your babies are all adorable.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:44 pm
i have yet to see an ugly baby! they are sooo little!!! Though…when Clay and I have our twin daughters, if all you do is say their toes are little, I’ll know what it means, pearatty!
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
Any babies created by you and Clay would just about HAVE to “have little toes”.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:44 am
I’m sure your babies will be adorable. Whether with Clay or with F-Train.
May 23rd, 2007 at 11:53 am
It’s a perfectionist thing. They’re just trying to keep the disease going.
May 24th, 2007 at 5:48 pm
[...] Me: I only want to play poker tonight, if it goes horribly at the Scrabble club. Karol: It’s not going to go horribly. Your Scrabble play is much better than your poker play these days. Me: Dude. I’m not that good at Scrabble. Karol: I’m going to let my silence speak for itself…what? I’m just being honest. [...]