Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for May, 2007

Public Service Announcement

Thursday, May 31st, 2007 by Dawn Summers

I only recently got the whole ‘don’t drop the soap’ prison reference. Ewwww.

Television

Thursday, May 31st, 2007 by Dawn Summers

A few years ago, I did the unthinkable. I gave up TV for the month before my birthday.
There was no grand plan, back then, I just plugged the TV out and went to sleep.
I was cranky and miserable and bitter for weeks, to the point where I almost said “nuts to this!” But I stuck it out, wrote some interesting stories, solved a few global problems AND learned something about myself.I repeated the experiment the following year, but this time I built in so many exceptions to my non-TV watching that really the only thing I sacrificed was watching Sports and once I decided poker wasn’t really a Sport, I’d really accomplished nothing.
I didn’t even bother going through the motions last year.
But the season approaches again and I’m thinking of taking the Dawn Summers Summer Blackout Challenge again. Lord knows I’m behind on my novel reading, my screenplay writing and any one of a million other things I can do with the seven hours a day I spend watching television.
Well, the gauntlet has been thrown.
Will I pick it up?

Russia Watch

Thursday, May 31st, 2007 by Dawn Summers

In a clear reference to the United States, he harshly criticized “imperialism” in global affairs and warned that Russia will strengthen its military potential to maintain a global strategic balance.

“It wasn’t us who initiated a new round of arms race,” Putin said when asked about Russia’s missile tests at a news conference after talks in the Kremlin with Greek President Karolos Papoulias.

Is the Russian enemy back? Remember when Bush looked into Putin’s soul?

Ah, how long before a foot is firmly planted on his throat?

On life and death in the new millenia

Thursday, May 31st, 2007 by Dawn Summers

A friend of mine –or more accurately, a friend of a friend– upon hearing that a fairly young uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given just shy of six months to live, went out and bought herself a porsche.

Tommy Thompson quits Law & Order

Wednesday, May 30th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

You heard me, TOMMY THOMPSON is probably running for president and we want to make sure that TOMMY Thompson gets as many Law & Order votes as possible.

TOMMY.

Tell your friends.

Karol does not get a via for this.

Not so random thought

Tuesday, May 29th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Wow, that gratitude tag line could not be gayer.

A picture of Dawn through the eyes of Karol

Tuesday, May 29th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Karol sent me the following stories yesterday.

40-year-old lottery winner still lives with his parents.

Now aged 40, he still lives in the same house with his parents and spends most of his days working as a furniture restorer, the job for which he trained as a teenager.

My response: Shut it. I moved out of my mother’s house years ago! Um…a year ago!

Obsessive recluse found dead in his home.

An obsessive nicknamed The Dettol Man died after continually cleaning himself and his home with the disinfectant, an inquest heard.

Recluse Jacques Niemand may have been overcome by fumes from the dozens of bottles of the cleaning fluid he kept in his flat.

My response: Shut it.

A debate on black women interested in dating/marrying white men.

Evia encourages black women to get out of dysfunctional relationships where they’re not appreciated and expand their dating horizons.

My response: My love for Clay transcends cultural and racial divides.

Ice cream theft leads to shootout with cops.

Officers were called to a United Dairy Farmers store after the clerk said someone stole ice cream from the store.

“He was running like he had a bag of money. I didn’t know what he was holding. I didn’t know it was ice cream,” one witness said.

My response: Yes, yes I know the Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream is delicious and hard to find, but I won’t be turning to a life of crime to feed the habit anytime soon.

Mother arrested for snorting cocaine at Wal-Mart

My response: What The Bleep?

Memorial Day Plans Aren’t So bad

Monday, May 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Beach

Flikr Fun.

Because evidently God thinks I ate enough yesterday

Monday, May 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I didn’t leave my bed until 8:01 pm. Understandably, I was very very hungry. I couldn’t find any menus or cards for the local pizza or Chinese places — and since all the delis close at eight in my neighborhood, things looked bleak for our hero.
At 8:30 I decided to venture outside to forage and or hunt.
I walked to my favorite pizza place — seven blocks away — and it was closed.
Oh well, I’ll grab a sandwich at Subway.
Another four blocks and I was staring at the metal bars in front of a closed Subway.
I muttered some choice words, until I noticed a new Italian restaurant across the street from Subway.
Score!
I walked up to door, looked at the menu in the window and settled on the fettucini alfredo.
A waiter approached me with a paper menu in his hand.
“Hello, ma’am.”
“Do you have take out?”
“Yes, we do, but…”
“Ok, I’d like to order.”
“No, I’m sorry ma’am the chef isn’t here today.”
The.Chef.ISN’T.HERE.TODAY.
For the love of…why are they open! With waiters??? WHEN THERE’S NO CHEF.
I muttered a few more of those choice words and started back home. On the way, I grabbed a bag of potato chips, cheese whiz and some crackers.
Oh yeah.
Say it with me: YUM.

It’s funny because it’s true

Monday, May 28th, 2007 by Dawn Summers

Grocery stores overwhelm male shoppers.
In a recent report titled “Men in Grocery Stores,” Putnam said that men shop inefficiently, which leads to missed sales for retailers.

Many men have difficulty finding items, forego buying rather than risk purchasing a substitute for an item on the grocery list and hesitate to ask for help if they can’t find an item, Putnam said in her report.

My poor gaming partner is going to starve to death in California.