I only recently got the whole ‘don’t drop the soap’ prison reference. Ewwww.
Archive for May, 2007
A few years ago, I did the unthinkable. I gave up TV for the month before my birthday.
There was no grand plan, back then, I just plugged the TV out and went to sleep.
I was cranky and miserable and bitter for weeks, to the point where I almost said “nuts to this!” But I stuck it out, wrote some interesting stories, solved a few global problems AND learned something about myself.I repeated the experiment the following year, but this time I built in so many exceptions to my non-TV watching that really the only thing I sacrificed was watching Sports and once I decided poker wasn’t really a Sport, I’d really accomplished nothing.
I didn’t even bother going through the motions last year.
But the season approaches again and I’m thinking of taking the Dawn Summers Summer Blackout Challenge again. Lord knows I’m behind on my novel reading, my screenplay writing and any one of a million other things I can do with the seven hours a day I spend watching television.
Well, the gauntlet has been thrown.
Will I pick it up?
In a clear reference to the United States, he harshly criticized “imperialism” in global affairs and warned that Russia will strengthen its military potential to maintain a global strategic balance.
“It wasn’t us who initiated a new round of arms race,” Putin said when asked about Russia’s missile tests at a news conference after talks in the Kremlin with Greek President Karolos Papoulias.
Is the Russian enemy back? Remember when Bush looked into Putin’s soul?
Ah, how long before a foot is firmly planted on his throat?
A friend of mine –or more accurately, a friend of a friend– upon hearing that a fairly young uncle was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given just shy of six months to live, went out and bought herself a porsche.
Wow, that gratitude tag line could not be gayer.
Karol sent me the following stories yesterday.
Now aged 40, he still lives in the same house with his parents and spends most of his days working as a furniture restorer, the job for which he trained as a teenager.
My response: Shut it. I moved out of my mother’s house years ago! Um…a year ago!
An obsessive nicknamed The Dettol Man died after continually cleaning himself and his home with the disinfectant, an inquest heard.
Recluse Jacques Niemand may have been overcome by fumes from the dozens of bottles of the cleaning fluid he kept in his flat.
My response: Shut it.
Evia encourages black women to get out of dysfunctional relationships where theyâ€™re not appreciated and expand their dating horizons.
My response: My love for Clay transcends cultural and racial divides.
Officers were called to a United Dairy Farmers store after the clerk said someone stole ice cream from the store.
“He was running like he had a bag of money. I didn’t know what he was holding. I didn’t know it was ice cream,” one witness said.
My response: Yes, yes I know the Ben & Jerry’s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream is delicious and hard to find, but I won’t be turning to a life of crime to feed the habit anytime soon.
My response: What The Bleep?
Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I didn’t leave my bed until 8:01 pm. Understandably, I was very very hungry. I couldn’t find any menus or cards for the local pizza or Chinese places — and since all the delis close at eight in my neighborhood, things looked bleak for our hero.
At 8:30 I decided to venture outside to forage and or hunt.
I walked to my favorite pizza place — seven blocks away — and it was closed.
Oh well, I’ll grab a sandwich at Subway.
Another four blocks and I was staring at the metal bars in front of a closed Subway.
I muttered some choice words, until I noticed a new Italian restaurant across the street from Subway.
I walked up to door, looked at the menu in the window and settled on the fettucini alfredo.
A waiter approached me with a paper menu in his hand.
“Do you have take out?”
“Yes, we do, but…”
“Ok, I’d like to order.”
“No, I’m sorry ma’am the chef isn’t here today.”
For the love of…why are they open! With waiters??? WHEN THERE’S NO CHEF.
I muttered a few more of those choice words and started back home. On the way, I grabbed a bag of potato chips, cheese whiz and some crackers.
Say it with me: YUM.
Grocery stores overwhelm male shoppers.
In a recent report titled “Men in Grocery Stores,” Putnam said that men shop inefficiently, which leads to missed sales for retailers.
Many men have difficulty finding items, forego buying rather than risk purchasing a substitute for an item on the grocery list and hesitate to ask for help if they can’t find an item, Putnam said in her report.
My poor gaming partner is going to starve to death in California.