Clareified

From Joe Grossberg, whose blog I just discovered today, but will be going to all the damn time.

She did have a catchy theme song…think they’ll play it at the funeral?

Earlier in the day, two consecutive witnesses called by lawyers for Virgie Arthur, Smith’s estranged mother, unexpectedly acknowledged that the starlet should be buried in the Bahamas next to her son.

Moments later, attorneys for Arthur had Smith dialed on speakerphone. He said he did not want his son to be exhumed, as Arthur has said she wants to do, and that Smith and her son should be buried ‘’side by side.”

Judge gives baby custody of mom’s remains.

Clareified: one stop newssource for all your Anna Nicole needs.

Except the nudie pictures.

FYI, morons, neither of you are getting out of the primary. NEITHER!!!!
Insert head hang.
I’ll be the first one to admit that this is all my fault. After President Bush won reelection and it was quite clear that Cheney had no intention to run, I pictured much inter party mudslinging and backstabbing in the Republican party.
McCain calling Rudy godless, Frist calling McCain old and delusional, Buchanan calling everybody a “liberal.” I just wanted to sit back and watch the fur fly. Meanwhile, back on naive Annie’s ranch, the Democrats — possibly lead by Jimmy Carter, would quietly meet on a compound, somewhere in the West — everyone who was interested, would throw their names into a hat and a young innocent child no older than five would pluck a name and our nominee would be born.
All would hail and rally forth.
We’d have our candidate. Whistle clean.
We’d raise money and be ready for whatever bloodied mess emerged from the Republican primary.
We’d laugh and point.
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
THIS! THIS! HAS TO HAPPEN.
TO US.
Can somebody please remind him that his middle name is HUSSEIN and tell her that her husband was FRICKIN IMPEACHED!

Man with sword mistakes porn for rape

A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

“Now I feel stupid,” said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. “This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake.”

Pretty much because hahahahahahahahhahahahahha is not really a comment.

“I don’t like being a tree.” - Fisch after a spectacular 2-6 Scrabble meltdown. Wow. Embarrassing.

And of Mrs. Clinton’s war stance and campaign so far: “It’s not a very big thing to say, ‘I made a mistake’ on the war, and typical of Hillary Clinton that she can’t,” Mr. Geffen says. “She’s so advised by so many smart advisers who are covering every base. I think that America was better served when the candidates were chosen in smoke-filled rooms.”

I totally agree…

via Pi

Brothers killed in head-on collision…with each other!

The 25-year-old military wife convicted of throwing a cup of ice into a car that cut her off on Interstate 95 in Virginia has been sentenced to probation.

A jury had recommended that Hall serve two years in prison, but the judge noted today that Hall has no criminal record and placed her on probation for the felony conviction.

You’re in your car, their in their car — just let it go and insult them to your passengers. Why would you risk jail or getting shot just because you are like a foot behind where you would have been had they not cut you off? Who cares?

I mean, it’s not like some idiot called you down with a queen high gutshot and hit on the turn or anything.

Anna Nicole Smith’s mother said today that she’s afraid for the safety of her granddaughter, Dannielynn, while the baby is in the care of Howard K. Stern. “My grandson did not overdose,” she told a hearing in Florida. “Howard was there when he died. And Howard was there when my daughter died. And he has my granddaughter now and it’s not even his child, and I’m afraid for her life as well.”

I confess, I cannot look away.

Every few years I become entranced with a figure so sad, so tragic, so painfully cursed that I can spend countless hours just wondering about their lives.

Caroline Kennedy (no explanation necessary), Stella Ritter (her dad died on her birthday! which also happens to be September 11th! and then her grandma died like a month later!) and now Dannielynn Whatever her Last name will end up being…good lord…this child has the black mark upon her.

You have much on your mind now, even if your career is running along smoothly. You are noticed more at work, at home and in the community. You are more interested in socializing with others and can express yourself easily. Nevertheless, you still go through your worrying process and might be tempted to stay safely hidden away from the outer world.

Oh, aol, you know me so very well.