Clareified

I went to my friends’ apartment tonight for dinner. Afterwards, we decided to play some Scrabble. (I’m sure having nothing to do with the fact that I brought the Scrabble board and official Scrabble dictionary with me and kept saying ‘are we gonna play Scrabble now? Are we gonna play Scrabble now? Are we gonna play Scrabble now?’)
Oh, and Cash would like me to take this opportunity to correct the statement that I was undefeated in my house before Lola and Polo came to visit. He has won a number of games at Chez Summers since I moved here. (In my defense, when I play with Cash and Pi they insist on this crazy freestyle Scrabble where they can put tiles down on the board in any order and then look up permutations in the dictionary until they find a valid combination. They are also free to challenge all of my words without penalty even when the words are good, so…you know…take his victories with a grain of salt.)
I left their place around one and went to pick up my car at the garage.
The attendant took my car and my slip and swiped it through the machine.
He did this like eight times and then he said:
“Sorry, miss. Our machine is down. Do you have any cash on you?”
What now?
“No.”
“Um…can you go to a cash machine?”
“No.”
He stares at me.
I stare back.
“The machine isn’t working…”
“Great, just get me my car and I will be on my way!”
“I can’t…I have to charge you something…”
“Too bad, it says you take credit cards. I gave you a credit card. So, give me my car. RIGHT. NOW.”
“Umm…is there anyway you can get cash?”
I ignore him this time…though some choice words come to mind.
“Look, guy. I am tired. I have been here for fifteen minutes and if you don’t give me my car in the next five minutes, I am calling the police.”
Cause, you know, I’ve done that before.
“Well, what do you want me to do. The computer is not working.”
“I want you to give me my car. IMMEDIATELY.” My voice echoes. Huh…I think I’m getting a cold.
He gets on the phone with the office and I hear this on his end of the conversation.
“I’m not getting a screen up here….no…it’s blank…oh…turn the computer on…ok…”
He hangs up and presses the power button. Oh, the computer lights right up.
Frickin genius.
I hit the West Side Highway and make my way past Ground Zero. This area is always teeming with cops and so I slow down, I make my way to the entrance of the tunnel.
A cop steps out of the booth and motions for me to stop.
What the hell? FECK! Did I miss some sign or something???
I roll down the window.
“Is the tunnel closed?”
“No, we don’t close. We’re 24/7…are you ok, ma’am?”
“Huh?”
“You are driving very slowly. Are you lost?”
“Uh…no…I’m fine…thanks…I will drive faster…”
“Ok. Have a good night ma’am.”
Awesome. (Oh, and by the way, a big Clareified shut the hell up to F-train, Fisch, Karol and Alceste on this one.)
I get back to Brooklyn in record “driving faster” time and decide to get some gas.
I turn off the car, get out, stick my credit card in, unscrew the cap and put the nozzle in.
And then, I hear the sickening click of my locks descending and the beep of my car’s alarm.
I feel for my car keys…even though I can see them dangling from the ignition.
DAMMIT!
Of couse, it’s like 20 degrees and I have no coat.
I finish filling the tank. Close up the tank and weigh my options.
I have a cellphone, but decide that walking the three blocks home and getting the spare key from the office will be faster (and you know, less humiliating) than calling triple A.
I do my “don’t be the same guy from last week” “don’t be the same guy from last week” “don’t be the same guy from last week” “don’t be the same guy from last week” “don’t be the same guy from last week” chant as I trudge to my garage.
Hooray!
Totally new guy!
I get the keys…warm up a bit and walk back to the gas station.
God it’s cold.
Man am I an idiot.
Brrr.
I am definitely getting a cold.
I finally made it back to my car and get inside.
I drive home and park.
Ok. So, this may be my year, but January is most definitely not my month.
I’ll be in bed until February.

This entry was posted by Dawn Summers on Sunday, January 21st, 2007 at 3:45 am and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.