Clareified

“Go to a doctor” – Karol
“Wait…you think you have laryngitis, but you haven’t seen a doctor?” –Sabaka
“Your grandmother wouldn’t go to the doctor for her cold…should we call her and ask how that worked out?”-my mother

I don’t like doctors. Who needs them and their needles, tests and waiting rooms? Besides, as a card carrying hypochondriac, I can diagnose my own illnesses.
However, I do not like coughing up little bits of my throat, being unable to talk or struggling to breathe all night…so to the doctor I decided to go.
I just walked into a doctor’s office near my neighborhood.
“Have you been here before?”
“No.”
“Well, I’m sorry, Dr. Quack is not taking on new…wait…I’m sorry, do you have insurance.”
“Yes.”
“Oh…and you want a check up?”
“Well, I have a cold.”
“Ok…have a seat.”
I am coughing incessantly.
The doctor comes out and says “well, I know why you’re here!”
Awesome.
“So, are you here to see me or my father?”
Uhhh…
“Don’t know…”
His face lights up.
“OK! Come on in here.”
“You sound terrible…did you go to work today”?
“Yes.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be. You could spread this.”
Awesome.
He has me do that “ahhhh” stick test
I breathe for him and he tells me I have acute bronchitis.
“I just gave away my last free samples to the last guy…but you’ve got insurance right?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, well I can also give you Vicodin, if you want.”
What?
“Why? Do I need Vicodin?”
“I dunno…do you?”
Dude.
“Uh…I don’t think so…”
“OK…up to you. So, great. Take these antibiotics, you should be fine by Thursday, Friday..but I wouldn’t go to work for the rest of the week.”
‘Rif.
So, there you have it. I may have contagious bronchitis or my doctor may just be a quack who hands out Vicodin like candy.

This entry was posted by Dawn Summers on Tuesday, September 26th, 2006 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.