â€œGo to a doctorâ€ â€“ Karol
â€œWaitâ€¦you think you have laryngitis, but you havenâ€™t seen a doctor?â€ â€“Sabaka
â€œYour grandmother wouldnâ€™t go to the doctor for her coldâ€¦should we call her and ask how that worked out?â€-my mother
I donâ€™t like doctors. Who needs them and their needles, tests and waiting rooms? Besides, as a card carrying hypochondriac, I can diagnose my own illnesses.
However, I do not like coughing up little bits of my throat, being unable to talk or struggling to breathe all nightâ€¦so to the doctor I decided to go.
I just walked into a doctorâ€™s office near my neighborhood.
â€œHave you been here before?â€
â€œWell, Iâ€™m sorry, Dr. Quack is not taking on newâ€¦waitâ€¦Iâ€™m sorry, do you have insurance.â€
â€œOhâ€¦and you want a check up?â€
â€œWell, I have a cold.â€
â€œOkâ€¦have a seat.â€
I am coughing incessantly.
The doctor comes out and says â€œwell, I know why youâ€™re here!â€
â€œSo, are you here to see me or my father?â€
His face lights up.
â€œOK! Come on in here.â€
â€œYou sound terribleâ€¦did you go to work todayâ€?
â€œWell, you shouldnâ€™t be. You could spread this.â€
He has me do that â€œahhhhâ€ stick test
I breathe for him and he tells me I have acute bronchitis.
â€œI just gave away my last free samples to the last guyâ€¦but youâ€™ve got insurance right?â€
â€œOk, well I can also give you Vicodin, if you want.â€
â€œWhy? Do I need Vicodin?â€
â€œI dunnoâ€¦do you?â€
â€œUhâ€¦I donâ€™t think soâ€¦â€
â€œOKâ€¦up to you. So, great. Take these antibiotics, you should be fine by Thursday, Friday..but I wouldnâ€™t go to work for the rest of the week.â€
So, there you have it. I may have contagious bronchitis or my doctor may just be a quack who hands out Vicodin like candy.