Clareified

On the one hand, you kill 29 people, but then you donate a kidney!

A kidney!!

Karol and a former classmate of ours recently hooked up via the blogosphere after her guest stint as mini-Malkin.

I guess in the course of their correspondence, he looked her up in the old high school yearbook and dug up this photo.

I have been fascinated by it for two reasons:

First, I have no recollection of this photo at all. I do know 1991 was the year I was determined to have more than two pictures of me in the yearbook and so joined all manner of clubs…including Glee Club — which for anyone who has heard me sing…well, you know it was just for the picture. And the three-year pin.
But that’s for a later post about how 1993 was the year I determined to break my all-time record of seven awards.

This picture is captioned: Green Growth Club. I can only imagine it was some pseudo hippie environmental group, though as a huge fan of disposable dishes and recycling only when I can get my nickel back…I can’t remember what we did exactly.

Doesn’t my expression in the picture just scream “Good! That’s at least four!”

(Oh, I’m the African-American one in the photo. When I showed it to my mom, I said “can you see me?” She replied “You can’t miss you.” The girl in the middle is probably the first transvestite I ever met. Yes, that’s a girl. Was a girl? No…she’s still a girl. Just looks like a boy.)

And second: How do I look exactly the same? How?!

Not to mention that I still talk to that girl on my right! It’s been fifteen years, for goodness sakes. THAT’S HALF MY LIFE (assuming fifteen is half of twenty-seven…I’m not so good with the math.)

Carry on.

Princeton takes the top spot in the latest U.S. News & World Report college rankings, breaking a three-year tie for No. 1 with Ivy League rival Harvard.

Yale again took the No. 3 spot in the controversial but closely watched rankings, followed by the California Institute of Technology, Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Stanford — all tied for fourth.

Did anyone catch the debate between the candidates for AG? Well, Democratic candidates for AG, anyway, as I think Pirro is now in the race for the bad guys.
No?
You have a life, you say?
Well, fine.
So’s my face.
Anyway, is it me or does Mark Green always sound like he is having or has just a had a stroke?
“Is it negative or uhhh uuhhhh ummmm is it a fact uhhhh uuhhhhhh…MEDIC!”
Andrew Cuomo, what a loser…geez…He kind of looks like his dad, sounds like his dad…and yet — Not. So not.
He hasn’t got a single rhetorical flare or charismatic bone in his stiff boring body.
Which leads me to my sad observation…how come the guy’s that always seem best for a position are always the ones without a shot of winning?
Maloney and King were so confident, funny — respectful…I want one of them to win…ok I want King to win.
And not just because he was one of my favorite bosses at Old LLP…Cuomo was also one of the Old LLP bosses and he’s still nausea inducing. (By the by, he hasn’t been in court since 1984??? How the hell was he hired as a LITIGATION partner at one of the elite Top 100 law firms in the country??? Must be nice to have an ex-governor for a dad. My father sucks.)
I also have to to say I looove the lightning round questions on NY1 debates. Sure, some are retarded “have you ever not tipped a waiter or cab driver” “Answer: no I have not not tipped.”
But I like the funny ones: “Have you ever voted for an American Idol contestant” — only King said yes — where have the other three been?
Have you taken public transportation in the last week? Only Cuomo said no.
Do you want HIllary Clinton to be the next President?! Yes all around!
“Do you want to be Governor” Inexplicably, nos all around. (Are they crazy?? Governor? Sure, why not…gimmee…it was the best moment in the Democratic governor candidate debate when that other guy was asked if he wanted to be President and he said “yes, absolutely!”)

Hayley Joel Osment faces jail time.

or the phrase “no comments” is like a dagger to my chest.

Fill in the blank “ample ____” where blank is the word that imemdiately comes to mind when you hear “ample.”

For Paltrow, parenting is “a total joy” — and a major time commitment.

“I do not know how single mothers have more than one child with no help,” she tells the magazine. “It requires so much of my life, and I don’t have to change sheets and clean toilets, you know.”

Somebody needs to slap her hard enough to wipe the black smudge from her “African” eye.

via Karol

Fighter jets escorted a London-to-Washington, D.C., flight to Boston’s Logan airport Wednesday after the pilot declared an emergency because an apparently claustrophobic passenger caused a disturbance, a federal official said.

Well, that’s what happens when you’re not allowed to have books, music, water or videogames.

Prosecutors plan to keep an eye on Madonna’s weekend concert in Duesseldorf to see if the pop diva repeats the mock crucifixion scene that has drawn fire from religious leaders.

Johannes Mocken, a spokesman for prosecutors in Duesseldorf, said Tuesday that a repeat of that scene during Sunday’s concert could be construed as insulting religious beliefs.

And everyone knows, if the Germans are known for anything, it’s their religious tolerance.

The recall involves 18 percent of Dell’s 22 million notebook computers sold during the period from April 2004 to July 2006. It comes three days before Dell is scheduled to report its fiscal second-quarter earnings.

Dell has received six reports of batteries overheating, causing damage to furniture and personal belongings, the Consumer Product Safety Commission in Washington reported. No injuries have been reported, the commission said. 

Well, that explains the burning sensation in my lap.

Whew.