Clareified

Where does the good go

Comedy

I went to a great comedy show last night.
It was a bi-partisan political “comic jam” and there were some great lines.
Fellow blogger, Robert George:

“Dick Cheney shot a guy in the face and waited twelve hours to talk to the police about it, George Bush is caught cursing by a microphone…look, I know we are trying to attract black people to the Republican party, but did we really have to become Hot 97?”

“You get the guy who you shot to apologize for getting shot? Now that’s gangsta.”

Karol’s friend Julia Gorin had a great line about combining selling the morning after pill and Viagra over the counter and calling it the “Lolita package.”

Guy whose name I don’t know, but who had me laughing so hard that my stomach hurt for his whole set:

“Look, I’m not saying you’re a redneck if you like Nascar…but you’re on the right track. I’m sorry people but that is just not a sport…you want to make Nascar a sport? How about we send another car going the other way at the same time?”

“I love the President…I really do. And not just because he gives me material, which, you know, I appreciate — but as a comedian, I can appreciate a President with a catchphrase! Have you all noticed that? Whenever he’s in trouble or answering a question he doesn’t like, he goes right to “freedom’s on the march!”

“Have you noticed how Bush has recently started saying “Al Kai eeda” That’s right…not al queda or alcaida. Al Kai eeda…it’s gone from terrorist arab organization to a mexican restaurant.”

Other guy whose name I don’t know:

Yeah…I was in the army…I know what you’re thinking. What’s a nice Jewish boy doing in the army? Well, I have to say they asked the same thing. Except without the nice…and without the “ish.”

You know what’s weird…like all these homophobic guys in the army…it’s like come on. You’re all big and tough but then you get all scared if a guy likes you likes? Man up, people, you can be homophobic, but don’t be fags about it.
Oh and then there was this one dude, who was totally homophobic, but then he’d make the most homoerotic threats ever like: ‘dammit. I swear if you call me gay again, I will shove my c*ck up your ass!’”

7 Responses to “Comedy”

  1. ken Says:

    “You get the guy who you shot to apologize for getting shot? Now that’s gangsta.”

    THAT’S MY DAMN LINE!!!

    I’m gonna have to shoot me some Robert George.

  2. Chugarte Says:

    Was the army Jew Democrat or Republican?

  3. Chugarte Says:

    Wait a second. They were both there!

  4. Dawn Summers Says:

    The one I quote was Democrat. The other one was not funny and thus, his political affiliation or name was not noted by me.

  5. Chugarte Says:

    Benari the Democrat is a good guy. So is Dave the Republican, actually, but Benari is a better friend.

  6. Robert A. George Says:

    Chugarte: Dave the Republican is actually a Marine! Hoo-RAH!

  7. Robert A. George Says:

    Ken: I sure as heck don’t remember you making that line about Cheney. Um, unless it was on your old blog…I’m pretty sure I made the joke to someone in th office within a day or so of the old guy appearing to “apologize.”

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