Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for May, 2006

MOST BEAUTIFUL BUMP IN THE WORLD…

Sunday, May 28th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

MOST BEAUTIFUL BUMP IN THE WORLD…

Is now a baby.

A representative for the couple said Jolie, 30, had given birth to Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt on Saturday in Namibia, a sparsely populated desert country in southwest Africa. There were no further details available, People reported.

CLAREIFIED GETS RESULTS!

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

CLAREIFIED GETS RESULTS!

Not only did this site bring the President of the United States to his knees, but after being mocked in a post earlier this week, homicide charges have been dropped against the eight year old boy.

Or, you know, delusions of grandeur is just another symptom of my as yet undiagnosed disease.

NO TRUTH HANDLERS WE

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

NO TRUTH HANDLERS WE

Sources claim marines killed dozens of unarmed civilians.

The Marines originally had reported that 15 civilians were killed by a roadside bomb in Haditha, a city along the Euphrates River in western Iraq. The Marines later suggested the civilians may have been caught in a firefight.

However, photographs being reviewed by investigators “are inconsistent with how the Marines claim the Iraqis died,” according to a military source familiar with the investigation.

Of course, really, the scariest part is that I am just going to get ALL my news from Bones from now on.

Just like Iocaste.

SEEINGOLDPEOPLEHAVESEXITIS?

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

SEEINGOLDPEOPLEHAVESEXITIS?

Mysterious disease causes victim’s skin to crawl.

via Binda…who hopefully is not trying to tell me something.

THAT’S JUST WHAT I GET…

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

THAT’S JUST WHAT I GET…

I was over at this guy’s house in Jersey City for a game. When I said I was leaving, at around 1 in the morning, he said “Yeah, I figured. You live in like Massachusetts.”

NOT SO RANDOM THOUGHT

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

NOT SO RANDOM THOUGHT

Did Alceste tell a woman I had just met to “watch out” because I was “hitting on her husband?”

Dude.

If Alceste is disappeared in the next week, I was home alone watching TV.

Ya heard?

NOT SO RANDOM THOUGHT

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers


NOT SO RANDOM THOUGHT

OK…so what disease do I have? The symptoms are a complete inability to wake up before 9:30 Monday through Friday, but being up insanely early on weekends.

CALL ME CRAZY…

Saturday, May 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers


CALL ME CRAZY…

But this ain’t the way to get yourself invited to Oprah’s show.

“I’ve been involved in three projects pitched to [Oprah], but I’ve never been asked to participate,” the rapper-actor [Ice Cube] tells FHM magazine in its July issue, on newsstands June 6.

“For ‘Barbershop,’ she had Cedric the Entertainer and Eve on, but I wasn’t invited,” says the 36-year-old rapper, referring to his 2002 movie. “Maybe she’s got a problem with hip-hop.”

Cube adds: “She’s had damn rapists, child molesters and lying authors on her show. And if I’m not a rags-to-riches story for her, who is?”

The clincher? Ice Cube, whose other films include “Friday” and “Three Kings,” will release his latest album, “Laugh Now, Cry Later,” on June 6.

Not that fifteen years of kiss ass letter writing works either, but that’s neither here nor there.

via AN

BUSH THE DECIDER: A Continuing Series

Friday, May 26th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

BUSH THE DECIDER: A Continuing Series

President George W. Bush admitted on Thursday that his bellicose “bring ’em on” taunt to Iraqi insurgents was a big mistake, as he and British Prime Minister Tony Blair carefully avoided setting a timetable for removing troops from Iraq.

Now, I’m not saying the President reads. My blog. However, years ago the Clareified staff pointed out what a ridiculously retarded statement this was, especially coming from a sitting Head of State.

We are happy that the President has finally decided to see the light.

AI BLOGGING THREE

Friday, May 26th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

AI BLOGGING THREE

I know, I know. Just finish watching and then blog…oh well.

DUDE. Who picked that duet for those two? Taylor looked like a creepy, lecherous middle aged man going through a life crisis with Katherine gold digging tart on his arm.

Ick, ick, ick.

Oh and you know what’s funny? Neither of them can sing.

Thanks for the trivia Seacrest. Note to TPTB we should be able to vote for president by phone as many times as we want.

Dorkwad.

Hey, Katherine, get the hell out of Taylor’s light.

Oh…and Tamyra…get yourself a music producer. And eat something.

Paris was robbed.