Clareified

NOTE TO SELF

You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. But this one is five years old. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car. And she has scratches. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. And paint transfer. You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car. We can just go for a few test drives. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car. A zero interest loan might make it worthwhile. You do not need a new car. You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.You do not need a new car.

That is all.

LIKE I ALWAYS SAY

via BOM

AND IF I AM LYING…

A defense lawyer was arguing a drunken driving case when he fell on the courtroom floor and died of an apparent heart attack, officials and friends said.

May God strike me dead.

BUSH THE DECIDER: A continuing series

President Bush has finally found something he should apologize for!

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH…

Snakes on a plane?

Why has it got such a cult following?

Look, I’m happy to continue smiling and nodding whenever F-train excitedly mentions the upcoming Samuel L. Jackson flick, but if someone could explain the fascination, that’d be awesome.

THE DOORMAN STRIKE HAS BEEN AVERTED!!

And of course, since Dawn will still have a doorman, she promptly purchased $350 worth of merchandise online.

YAY!

It’s almost “see people blow shit up” season at the movies!!

In the coming weeks, we’ll see “Mission Impossible III” (May 5), “Poseidon” (May 12) (shhaaaa, I’ve seen that on video already and well ‘Titanic’ is the defining boat sinks on big screen movie-ed), “The Da Vinci Code” (May 19), “X-Men: The Last Stand” (May 26). They’ll be followed by “Superman Returns” (June 30), “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (July 7) and “Miami Vice” (July 28) (Is Phil Collins in it? Cause it ain’t Vice unless Phil Collins is in it -ed.)

KA-BOOM!!!

YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT

I am dancing around my office barefoot and listening to Wham.

Those documents better get here soon. (I almost wrote the short form “docs,” but then I worried some might mistake that for the abbreviation of doctor…and considering the sentence which preceded it…well, I just didn’t want there to be any mistake. I am of good, sound mental health.)

Conflicting versions of Lacrosse Stripper Night

On one hand, the 27-year-old woman, a student at North Carolina Central University, told police she and another woman were hired to strip dance at a team party. The woman told police that three men at the party dragged her into a bathroom and raped her March 13.

On the other hand, the accused claim to have evidence showing their clients had left the party by the time the attack is alleged to have happened.

And everybody has got an opinion.

Gee, I just, you know, wish there was a place where all this…umm…evidence could be, you know, presented and maybe we can have like someone look at all of it and hear both sides and then decide whether something bad happened.

BUSH THE DECIDER: A Continuing Series

Moments after President Bush urged the Chinese President to allow his citizens to speak freely:

A single woman on the camera stand interrupted the welcoming ceremony, shouting in English, “President Bush, stop him from persecuting the Falun Gong!” She also shouted in Chinese, “President Hu, your days are numbered,” according to a translation by reporters on the scene. She was forcibly removed from the South Lawn by uniformed Secret Service personnel.‘

She was charged with disorderly conduct and could face additional federal charges, Secret Service spokesman Eric Zahren said.

The Secret Service said Wang was arrested not for speaking her opinion, but for “causing a ruckus.”

Speak Freely, but bring bail money.

Bush has decided.