Clareified

Those days are gone forever; I should just let 'em go but…

Archive for February, 2006

POLLS OPEN NOW

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

POLLS OPEN NOW

Go play Esther’s me-inspired game. Not that I’m the one who’s not in MENSA.

In fact: “Your score was 23 out of 30. That is a very good score, you would have a good chance of passing the Mensa test. ”

So’s your face, Ms. Donovan. It’s been 15 years and I still know how to apply the pythagorean theorem.

Who doesn’t belong in advanced Calculus 200, now?

BACK IN TIME

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

BACK IN TIME

Awwwwww

ANNA NICOLE HEADS TO THE SUPREME COURT

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

ANNA NICOLE HEADS TO THE SUPREME COURT

You just know, the Court only granted cert cause the male Justices wanted to see her boobs.

24 BLOGGING

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

24 BLOGGING

Fox News did a poll, a few weeks ago, about whether 24 could survive if Jack were killed off. I think last night’s episode definitively answers that question in the negative.

There was very little Jack — until the end– and so Dawn had very little interest — until the end.

My favorite part was when Jack goes “how could I be so stupid?!” because I too was thinking the very same thing and was on the verge of losing some respect for our intrepid hero — but his own self-awareness saves his place in my pantheon of great TV action heroes.

Looks like cougar girl is back next week. I’ll be sure to have my antacids on hand.

DAWN ANSWERS READER MAIL

Monday, February 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

DAWN ANSWERS READER MAIL

This one from Peter in Manhattan:

Dawn, are you one of these fans:

Nine fans of Americal Idol star Clay Aiken are considering launching a class action lawsuit against the singer and his record company bosses following tabloid allegations he’s gay. The unnamed fans were shocked by recent unconfirmed claims from a retired soldier that he enjoyed a gay romp with the singer in a hotel room.

No, Peter. Actually, I am one of these other fans:

The fans are taking great care to protect their identities because they’re already received serious threats from other Aiken fans.

One of the distressed fans, who is leading the class action charge, says, “Because of the threats that have risen out of this, we are being very careful with what information we reveal, as we settle everything and first make arrangements for the safety of ourselves and our families.”

And if I meet up with any of the other “fans,” they’d best be wearing running shoes.

Thanks for your question.

Well, that’s it for today’s mailbag. If you have a question you’d like Dawn to answer, please click this link and get me something good, cause I’m done answering questions for free.

APPRENTICE BLOGGING

Monday, February 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers


APPRENTICE BLOGGING

Oh my gosh! How crazy was that when Jack bursts into the guy’s office and gets tasered!! Who knew? I totally thought Jack Bauer ran on electricity; taser him and TWO Jack Bauers take his place.

OK, I keed, I keed.

But really, you know who’s not in MENSA? The guy that picked this timeslot for Apprentice Season 5.

Hmm…24 and Apprentice are both in their fifth seasons…that probably means something.

Well.

So we’ve got another fine crop of lawyers and business school graduates. I suppose I should be rooting for the Columbia Law grad or the fat guy or the black chick.

We’ll decide soon.

I will say that both my future husbands appear to be competing on the show this Season.

The second one, of course, to come after a tragic fishing accident takes my first husband’s life oh so unexpectedly and an appropriate mourning period.

We’ll also decide which is which after in a few weeks.

But hint: Orlando Bloom totally in the running.

OH COME ON

Monday, February 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers


OH COME ON

Growing up, my mother, in the spirit of “I brought you into this world and I can take you out,” often threatened me with swift and violent death if x, y, or z should occur.
When I was old enough to think of such a retort, I’d respond “but then you will go to prison for life.”
Without missing a beat, she’d reply: “it’ll be worth it.”
Yikes.
So when I read the news that Andrea Yates rejected a 35-year plea deal, I can’t help but be mildly annoyed.
No, I don’t think she should get death or life in prison or anything — but I’d think that the opportunity to spare herself (and the good news reading public) another trial, coupled with the chance to honor her dead kids by admitting she killed them, would be welcome.

I mean, if any sliver of sanity has returned to her, how could she even want to walk free after drowning her own kids one by one by one by one by one?

7 years a kid seems fair — it’s not like she’s got much else going on.

NOT SO RANDOM THOUGHT

Monday, February 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

NOT SO RANDOM THOUGHT

Why does it take the words “you have until 5 p.m.” to get me to do that which I so clearly could have done in three hours at any point during the last two and a half weeks I had the assignment?

I WOULD HAVE BLAMED BUSH

Monday, February 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers

I WOULD HAVE BLAMED BUSH

Pop star George Michael has said his arrest for suspected drug possession was “my own stupid fault, as usual.”

Just sayin’.

Hillary to Karl

Monday, February 27th, 2006 by Dawn Summers


Hillary to Karl

Stop sweating me.