Clareified

Where does the good go

I’M NOT IN JAIL, BUT…

I’M NOT IN JAIL, BUT…

Officer briefly interrupting his conversation with an inappropriately clothed for 30 degree weather chick speaking in a weird accent which Dawn likes to assume is Swedish:

“Ma’am, you can’t come through here with a box.”

Me, smiling sweetly and being totally respectful and polite as I carried my Christmas gift over to the party: Okay, but how far North do I have to go to be able to walk across to ninth.

Officer annoyed that I have once again interrupted his conversation with the Swede: No boxes through here.

Me, no longer smiling, but still respectful and polite: Yes, but how far North do I —

Officer: NO BOXES

Me, no longer smiling, no longer respectful, no longer polite: Yeah, I got that. I speak English. And yes, even though I’m black, I actually live in this city and pay taxes (voice in head: Dawn don’t say the ‘which pays your salary’ part) that pay your salary (voice in head: well, ok, you’re mad and I guess we did send out the plea for bail money in advance, just don’t call him any names.) Now, I don’t understand why I have to become a complete bitch for you to answer my simple question, but I guess bitch is the only language an asshole understands. NOW, how far up does this blockade go?

Officer, now fully paying attention: Umm..you could try 57th, but they’re not going to let you through.

Me: Thank You.

Officer and completely horrified Swede stare at me as I cross the street and promptly hail a cab to take me across Times Square.

Fucking brilliant impenetrable security system they have going there.

9 Responses to “I’M NOT IN JAIL, BUT…”

  1. Pearatty Says:

    Dawn very funny.

  2. Pearatty Says:

    Dawn very funny.

  3. Pearatty Says:

    Dawn very funny.

  4. metsin'04 Says:

    If that happened exactly as you claim (a) you would have been arrested or (b) the Swede must have been really hot.

  5. metsin'04 Says:

    If that happened exactly as you claim (a) you would have been arrested or (b) the Swede must have been really hot.

  6. metsin'04 Says:

    If that happened exactly as you claim (a) you would have been arrested or (b) the Swede must have been really hot.

  7. dawn summers Says:

    For what? Seething? I didn’t spit on him or anything.

  8. dawn summers Says:

    For what? Seething? I didn’t spit on him or anything.

  9. dawn summers Says:

    For what? Seething? I didn’t spit on him or anything.

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