Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for July, 2005

SEE? THIS IS WHY I SIT AT HOME AND WATCH TV

Sunday, July 31st, 2005 by Dawn Summers

SEE? THIS IS WHY I SIT AT HOME AND WATCH TV

Jim MacLaren ’85, a former football and lacrosse player at Yale, was recently honored with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at ESPN’s annual ESPY Awards show. MacLaren became a top triathlete after losing a leg in a motorcycle accident at age 22. Eight years later he was struck by a van during a triathlon and suffered paralysis.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Sunday, July 31st, 2005 by Dawn Summers

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Calling Dawn in an emergency is the equivalent of calling a little kid who won’t put his parents on the phone”

- Peter at 4am after trying to reach Karol or me for five hours after her mom locked herself out of the house and tried to get the spare set from Karol.

But it’s true. If it’s an emergency, don’t call me. I won’t believe you for the first ten minutes and even then I’ll mostly be wondering why you’re calling me.

CALLING MISS MANNERS EXPERTS…

Sunday, July 31st, 2005 by Dawn Summers


CALLING MISS MANNERS EXPERTS…

How long must you wait after attending your friends’ housewarming party before you can start bad mouthing New Jersey without having it seem like you in any way had less than a great time at Dawn 2 and Alceste’s superfantastic riverfront apartment?

AWARD FOR TODAY’S WORST DAUGHTER

Saturday, July 30th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

AWARD FOR TODAY’S WORST DAUGHTER

Congrats.

Oh Yeah

Saturday, July 30th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

Oh Yeah

The card was the 2 of diamonds. Well, is the 2 of diamonds, since I didn’t get around to cleaning my room.

THE HARDEST FOUR DOLLARS I EVER EARNED

Saturday, July 30th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

THE HARDEST FOUR DOLLARS I EVER EARNED

I came in fifth out of 26 players today at a pretty serious NLHE tournament!

I even got four or five “revenge of the AK” stories out of it, the hand seemingly disliking my insulting it.

On the second hand of the night, I am dealt Big Sick..er Slick.

I raise eight times the big blind…a third of my stack.

The blinds fold, I have one caller.

The flop is 2 K 4.

I go all-in.

The one caller is short stacked and calls.

The Turn is an Ace.

I am giddy, about to take back everything bad I ever said about the “so-called-third-best-hand-in-HE.”

Someone remembers that since the short stack is all-in we should flip the cards.

I quickly show my monster two pair.

He flips a set of TWOS!!! FREAKING POCKET TWOS.

The river is a brick and I lose half my stack.

Mofo Ace/King.

Happily, when I went all-in for a lot more money with pocket nines, and an AK called me, he also lost. I actually shouted ‘So’s Your Face Ace-King’ at the cards!

I know. I need help.

Upshot is that after four and a half hours of play, I won four dollars more than my buy-in.

WHO HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS?

Friday, July 29th, 2005 by Dawn Summers


WHO HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HER HANDS?

I tried to sleep in today, but the phone kept ringing non-stop. I’d pick up and there would be long pauses after which a heavily accented person (or a digitized voice) would respond offering me one product or another.

I would mumble something about my level of interest and hang up.

After three times, I decided to give up on sleep and get up.

Of course, the calls didn’t stop just because I was eating, watching TV or blogging, instead of trying to sleep.

So, I got me a pen and paper and wrote down every strange number on my caller id.

866
888
877
410?!?!
973

And then I proceeded to call each and every one.

“This is [insert annoying ass company] How may I help you?”
“Stop calling my house.”

AOL probably had the funniest response to my request. After getting my name, address
and phone number added to their ‘Do-Not-Solicit’ roster, this chick asks me if I “would interested in receiving information about their partnership with the Video Professor?”

Uhmm…let me think about it. Why don’t you call me tomorrow. Oh. Wait. You can’t.

Morons.

TAVERN FOR NO GREEN

Friday, July 29th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

TAVERN FOR NO GREEN

New LLP planned a summer afternoon outing. I decided to go and score a free meal at Tavern on the Green (which I have inexplicably never been to) by signing up for the “Central Park scavenger hunt.”
The hunt started at 3:30.
Unfortunately, due to some police action on the west side subway line…I didn’t get to the meeting point until 4 p.m. (Ok, and there might have been a decision to stop at Krispy Kreme on the way. I then had to walk the whole avenue block where KK is supposed to be on 72nd street twice because I couldn’t find it. Finally, I noticed a plain white sheet of paper in the window of an empty storefront which said something like “Dude, Dawn, we closed this location like two weeks ago. Where have you been man?”)
Anyway, by the time I got to the starting point, I saw one of the scavenger hunt teams frantically trying to make a “creative” picture of them acting out a Beatles song in front of the ‘Imagine’ monument in Central Park. (i.e. everyone holding hands would signify ‘I wanna hold your hand’ or everyone lying on their stomachs with two rolls of paper on either sides of their mouths would be ‘I am the Walrus…’)
As I watched them scramble around in formation…I remembered “oh yeah…Scavenger Hunts suuuck!”
I ducked out of sight and walked into the woods. I found a bench under a tree and contemplated my options.
Dinner wasn’t until 7 p.m. It was humid and hot.
I should have just gone home. But no.
I finished the last pages in ‘A Widow For One Year’ (Dawn’s quick review: DNR (Does Not Recommend). Now, it was 4:20. And still unforgiveably hot.
I watched the strollers roll by me and noticed that not one of the babies matched the skin tone of the women pushing them.
Little cherubic pink babies were moved along by full-figured brown skinned women; while the darling Asian babies were accompanied by the Type-A middle-aged women who were jogging and using their cellphones as they took the babies out for their afternoon strolls.
I didn’t see any brown skinned babies. I guess they have their own parks.
It was 4:48 and now three pigeons were perched threateningly in the branches above my head.
Grrr.
I checked my Treo looking for movie times..nothing started before six.
I reread some portions of AWFOY.
Still sucked.
It was 5.
I decided to walk to Lincoln Center.
Twenty minutes later I was sitting, spoon deep in a caramel sundae at Haagan Daas.
Ahh…cool and creamy.
I wasted about 40 minutes there, taking the smallest bites possible under the glaring eyes of the ice cream shoppe proprietor.
After I left, I hit the Barnes & Noble on the corner.
Don’t even look at the Harry Potter books….you bought yours on Amazon using the Super Saver delivery method and now you will just have to wait the additional four days for it to come.
You made your bed, missy.
I could feel my credit card just being magnetically drawn to the cashier, so I decided to leave.
Anyway, it was 6:10 and I figured if I walked slowly enough I would get to Tavern just in time for dinner.
Sadly, even though, I dragged my feet and got lost, I still got there at 6:30.
Fortunately, it turns out the firm arranged for cocktails starting at 6!
Our long personal nightmare was over.
Of course, the best part of the story is that while we were having dinner at Tavern on the Green…we weren’t having dinner in Tavern on the Green.
The firm arranged for an outdoor buffet of hot dogs and hamburgers and some boiled corn.
Mmm mmm.
Kill me.

IF YOU’VE FINISHED HALF-BLOOD PRINCE…

Friday, July 29th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

IF YOU’VE FINISHED HALF-BLOOD PRINCE…

And want to chat about it, Gib’s got a pretty good spoilers-allowed thread going on here.

I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE HIGH ROAD…

Friday, July 29th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

I DON’T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE HIGH ROAD…

mostly because the low ones are so much more fun.