Clareified

Where does the good go

DON’T SAY I NEVER DID NOTHIN FOR YA


DON’T SAY I NEVER DID NOTHIN FOR YA

Ladies and Gentlemen who were planning to spend waste any hard earned or easily inherited money on ‘War of the Worlds:’

Don’t.

Seriously. Go see something else, buy a snack, donate it to charity, set it on fire — any of these uses are vastly superior to exchanging it for a ticket to see that craptacular display of suckingness.

And just so you know that I am not some elitist movie snob, I am the one that proclaimed ‘Sahara’ (yes, with Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz) the BEST MOVIE EVER MADE IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND MAKING MOVIES. (And before anyone even so much as thinks about disagreeing with me, you name me another movie where a cannon ball shoots down a helicopter…yup…that’s what I thought.)

Which brings me back to ‘War of the Worlds’ or as I am calling it ‘Speilberg and Cruise Vomit All Over Movie Theaters Near You,’ don’t do it to yourselves people.

Here are the best (and now, I’m not saying good here, just best) lines/moments:

Tom Cruise: And do you have a plan that doesn’t involve your ten-year-old sister joining the army?

Tim Robbins’ face’s first on-screen appearance.

The rest of the movie is as follows:

People sulk
Children scream
Aliens attack
Children scream
Tom Cruise runs (you know that Tom Cruise run — he realizes the danger, turns his face in profile, close-up on nose, and then his legs hammer away like pistons for two minutes. See Firm, The; Impossible:Mission, Minority Report, The)
Repeat.

Not even Netflix worthy.

6 Responses to “DON’T SAY I NEVER DID NOTHIN FOR YA”

  1. Kat Says:

    Damn. Glad I read this before going to see it this afternoon.

    Your good deed for the day has been done.

  2. Ari Says:

    Did you see A.I. – and if so where did you fall on that one? I need a barometer because I’m sort of curious about WOTW but I though A.I. was the biggest pile of crap I’d ever seen Spielberg drop and I have no desire to sit through that again.

    Is it just me or between, AI, The Terminal & WOTW, is Spielberg losing his midas touch??

  3. Dawn Summers Says:

    Oh, indeed, AI sucked big time. War of the Worlds may very well be worse…actually there is one scene, that is exactly the same, now that I think about it.

  4. Ari Says:

    Oh man… sounds like they should only show it at Gitmo!

  5. Dawn Summers Says:

    NO WAY, MAN. Too cruel.

  6. Hi there Says:

    Are you there?

    Wow that’s a nice post .

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