Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for March, 2005

SO…NOT SO MUCH WITH THE ‘PRO-LIFE’

Monday, March 28th, 2005 by Dawn Summers


SO…NOT SO MUCH WITH THE ‘PRO-LIFE’

Man arrested in murder for hire plot targeting Judge Greer and Michael Schiavo.

INFORMAL POLL

Sunday, March 27th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

INFORMAL POLL

Sleeping in the nude: horrific nightmare or last refuge of the perverse?

GOOD FRIDAY*

Friday, March 25th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

GOOD FRIDAY*

In the pre “Heat Hotline” days, Winter in East Coco Beach could be brutal. My nighttime rituals involved multi-layering and accessories.
“You ready for bed?”
“Yes!”
“Where’s your other glove?”
“I can’t find it.”
Would be a fairly typical bedtime conversation in the Summers’ household when I was little.
And when the heat disappeared along with the hot water, we would sleep, fully clothed, on chairs in the kitchen in front of the open oven.
If the cold became unbearable we would sleep at my mom’s friends’ houses — me crowding into bed with their kids and my mom dozing on their couches.
The worst days were when we had to stay with mom’s co-worker because we had spent too many nights in a row at her friends’ apartments and didn’t want to risk wearing out her welcome.
He was a cranky, disheveled divorcee, who lived alone in a kitchenette deep in the ghetto of the ECB.
His hair was unkempt, his toenails yellowed and deformed and, though I couldn’t identify it then, his whole person reeked of the stench of urine.
He would open his door for us wearing nothing but boxer shorts, one hand scratching his belly and the other squeezing the remains of a cigarette.
His landlady had never come to get the tattered, stained mattress the previous tenant of his one room apartment left behind, and so, on these occassions, he would lay it flat on the floor a few inches from his bed and that’s where my mom and I would sleep.
Moments after the lights went out, I could hear scratching sounds slide across the floor and the high pitched squeaking that echoes through old apartment buildings.
“Mommy…”
“Ignore them. You’re fine. I’m watching.”
And then she would tell me bible stories until I fell asleep. Jesus being born in a manger was my favorite.
“I wonder if there were rats in there?”
“Probably” she’d laugh.
It was those nights sleeping on a stranger’s old mattress and hundreds just like it in other locales that would blossom into my faith in God and salvation and spirituality.
Hours spent in church and Sunday School were my favorite times of the week.
In the midst of grey ominous skies and dirty threatening streets, the doors to Holy Cross revealed a world of beautiful mosaic floors, colorful stained glass windows, and gaping infinite arches. Each panel, carving and statute telling the story of of God’s love and sacrifice.
I loved being in church. And not just because it was warm and I could feel my fingers and face again. I would quote scripture with the nuns and get pats on my head from Father O’brien when I had asked just a few dozen questions too many.
“Do cops go to hell if they shoot a criminal?”
“If someone kills themself, doesn’t that mean that’s how God wanted them to die?”
“Can God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit see each other or are they all together inside God until they change…like He-Man?”
(Father O’brien would later repeat the story of me asking him that for years until he was promoted to Pastor at another parish. I think he liked the He-Man part most of all.)
But whatever the question, the answer was almost always a combination of believe in God as he believes in you and love thy neighbor as you love yourself.
In essence, have faith.
How do I know Jesus is the son of God?
Because I believe it.
And in believing it, know it.
Just like I knew, even though I was fast asleep, that the mice wouldn’t get me because my mom was watching.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, no, God’s not like Adam and He-Man.

*Well, not like ‘good’ good, like holy good.

BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS ME LIKE MY TIVO…

Thursday, March 24th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS ME LIKE MY TIVO…

I programmed it to record the premiere of ‘The Office.’
About thirty seconds in, I was reaching for my thesaurus to find out how many ways I could say bland.

Ten minutes in, the watchword was boring (except for that guy tapping that other guy on the shoulder and making him look the other way: hilarious.)

Finally, twenty minutes in, it was all about the killing of myself.

Suddenly at minute 21, the recording abrubtly ends!

Some say “power outage,” I say “mutual understanding.”

X-Files

Thursday, March 24th, 2005 by Dawn Summers


X-Files

THAT’S HOW IT ENDS?

Sure my watching trailed off with the addition of the dull monotonous baritone of Robert Patrick’s Doggett. Whose didn’t? And yes I stopped watching altogether once it was a choice between Alias and the vacuous Monica Reyes, I mean – really, talk about a no-brainer.

But I always assumed that one day, years from then, I would tune in to Fox, catching those last episodes in syndication and be satisfied that it all came to a good end.

No such luck.

Obviously learning nothing from Jerry Seinfeld’s folly, Chris Carter chooses a flashback sham trial to end the series? Then sentences Mulder to death? AND kills the cigarette smoking man? Not to mention the geek Trio (suddenly Jonathan, Warren and Andrew make a little more sense) all bite it at the same time?

For shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.

Not that I won’t plunk down the 20 dollars to go see the movie on December 22, 2012. But still.

That sucked.

DEAR OPRAH,

Thursday, March 24th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

DEAR OPRAH,

Hi, I know I just wrote to you a few months ago, but Steve Rubel had this awesome idea and I just couldn’t resist.
As always thank you for your program. Every day it provides rich inspiration to millions of Americans (and free cars to a select lucky few!). As a major media personality, you might be aware of a growing phenomenon called “blogging” – short for web logging. To my knowledge you haven’t had any bloggers on your program but now might be a great time to do so.
Blogging has empowered more than 8 million citizens worldwide to do great things. Some are citizen journalists. They report news and even occasionally fact-check the media as well. Dan Rather experienced this first hand, as I am sure you have heard. Other bloggers are using the personal publishing medium to express their pain and find spiritual guidance as they battle terrible diseases – such as cancer. Meanwhile thousands of employees inside corporate America are blogging and there are even celebrity bloggers as well.
I am one of these eight million bloggers. I blog on current events at http://www.clarified.blogspot.com. If you would like my assistance in finding great bloggers for your program, please contact me at dawnsummers3000 at yahoo.com
Thank you for your time and for listening.
Sincerely,
Dawn Summers
PS – You should have your own blog too. Rosie does!
via Jeff Jarvis

AS AVENUE Q SAYS…

Thursday, March 24th, 2005 by Dawn Summers

AS AVENUE Q SAYS…

“Give us your money!”

Donate to March of Dimes WalkAmerica Drive.

NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THE DAY…

Thursday, March 24th, 2005 by Dawn Summers


NEVER THOUGHT I’D SEE THE DAY…

But Ann Coulter even scares the religious right.

BELATED, I KNOW…

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 by Dawn Summers


BELATED, I KNOW…

BUT…They killed off the Lone Gunmen?!!?

What the hell?

Dawn’s Music Blogging

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005 by Dawn Summers


Dawn’s Music Blogging

Me:Who are the Smiths?
Karol: What?
Me: Rubber Ring, Smiths?
Karol: Oh.
Me: Are they the brother/sister, husband/wife people?
Karol: No, buddy, no. They’re Morrissey’s band.
Me: Van Morrissey?
Karol: No, buddy no.