Clareified

Where does the good go

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL

Christmas always meant two things in the Summers’ household: Midnight Mass and presents.
When I was very little I used to think the presents were a prize for sitting through the interminable tri-lingual service (yup, an entire mass from beginning to end, delivered by three priests, in turn in English, French and Spanish). Catholic services are notoriously aerobic. In order, there’s the walk to the pew, the squat and bow before being seated, standing to welcome the celebrant to the altar, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, line forming, walking, bowing, kneeling, sitting, standing, walking out and the handshake at the end. (A friend once wondered aloud how many Weight Watcher’s exercise points she could award herself for all the effort. We decided four minus one for the body of Christ at the end.) But Christmas mass was different, somewhere after the English homily, I would put my head on my mom’s shoulder and sleep until Christmas morning.
To this day I’m not entirely sure how I got out of my church dress and shoes, because I was always in feeted pajamas by morning. (I remember waking up once as she put me in my bed and asking if it was still Christmas, when she said yes, I asked if I could have my presents and she said Santa just got out of church too and hadn’t delivered them yet.)

Since it was just the two of us, there wasn’t a big decorated tree with gifts by the fireplace or anything. But when I woke up on Christmas morning, tickled awake by the smell of bacon and the sound of carols, my whole bed would be covered with presents from neck to toe – the biggest box usually perched on my chest and smaller ones tucked beside my head, so they wouldn’t tumble off when I sat up. Tearing and opening commenced immediately and did not stop until I could sit up. Atari 2600, Operation, Thundercats action figures – all left on my bed for me after Santa got out of church. I can’t remember the last year that I was buried in presents for Christmas, but this year came closest to replicating that sense of wonder about what Santa had dropped off.
I received lots of gifts from readers, relatives, friends and myself via Amazon and Overstock.com – all shrouded in impenetrable brown cardboard until I pried them open on Christmas morning.
Esther sent me the Garden State soundtrack everyone has been raving about. Karol sent me the Dido CD I have been meaning to get for two years and a Beatles CD I didn’t ask for (Well, I did ask for a Beatles CD mind you, she just judged that one, found it wanting and got me a different one.) Jake, the patron saint of Alarming News, got me two seasons of Futurama (why they cancelled that show, but brought back freaking Family Guy twice, I’ll never know.) My best friend got me both seasons of Alias and two seasons of the Simpsons, which I have been watching non-stop on my brand new flatscreen/DVD TV (which has a built in alarm to turn itself on in the morning!) I got the complete set of Lemony Snicket books, Jon Stewart’s America, a bunch of video games, and three people completed the free ipod offer! (Just need two more…)
I want to thank all those people for making this the most Christmasy-Christmas in my adult life and thank everyone for continuing to read and comment on Clareified, without you all I would be ranting out loud in the streets and I promised the N.Y.P.D. that I wouldn’t do that anymore.
Anyone who says Christmas has become too commercial has never seen the look on a child’s face as she tears open a lone box placed at the foot of her bed to find an X-box inside.
Time to Dance Dance Revolution.

9 Responses to “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL”

  1. Esther Says:

    Merry Christmas! When you get Karaoke Revolution, you better call me…

  2. Esther Says:

    Merry Christmas! When you get Karaoke Revolution, you better call me…

  3. Ari Says:

    Your Christmas sounds like it was great! Kudos for having great and generous readers!!

  4. Ari Says:

    Your Christmas sounds like it was great! Kudos for having great and generous readers!!

  5. Karol Says:

    It’s not that the Beatles album you chose was bad, really, it’s just that I have to think about the future when you’ve learned all the songs by heart and choose to sing them to me all the damn time. Do I want to hear ‘Love Me Do’ or ‘I’m only sleeping’? I chose their less repetitive stuff (though I have a feeling ‘Yellow Submarine’ is going to be a nightmare when you learn all the words).

  6. Karol Says:

    It’s not that the Beatles album you chose was bad, really, it’s just that I have to think about the future when you’ve learned all the songs by heart and choose to sing them to me all the damn time. Do I want to hear ‘Love Me Do’ or ‘I’m only sleeping’? I chose their less repetitive stuff (though I have a feeling ‘Yellow Submarine’ is going to be a nightmare when you learn all the words).

  7. Dawn Summers Says:

    say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.

  8. Dawn Summers Says:

    say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.

  9. Clareified » Blog Archive » Merry Christmas to all… Says:

    […] And for your reading pleasure: Ghost of Summers Christmas past! […]

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