Fun With Quizzes
Archive for December, 2004
OH MY GOSH
Season One on DVD now.
Now I’ve Lost It
Anyone in the greater bi-borough area got the first 11 episodes of Lost on tape?
Umm…nevermind. Looks like the shortest infatuation *EVER* ends with the words “I became the man I was huntin’.” hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha and then he shouts “Get Out” to the chick he was talking to even though they are both outside on an island beach. hahahahahahahahahahaha
JERRY ORBACH DEAD AT 69
WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS
“Smithers, I am beginning to think Homer Simpson was not the brilliant tactician that I thought he was.”
They said it couldn’t be done.
Hell, I said it couldn’t be done.
But the East Coco Beach Rams have won the Ffffl fantasy football league!
Obvious props go to Daunte Culpepper who kept the Rams in point contention even when they had an 0 and 4 record.
To my shadow coaches who, though failing to stop me from having six receivers on my fourteen player team, came up big when I needed to replace half my squad due to injury.
In particular thanks to Alceste, although he was also the one who picked Michael Bennett for me (and declared that I won the league a day before it was official causing westbrook to be deactivated and the eagles defense to collapse.)
A special ‘So’s your face’ to Donald for using me as a guide for what not to do with his fantasy team.
This season was a rough one and we faced impossible odds especially in the playoffs, so I thank all the ECBR fans and the commissioner for not having a last place prize (which I would hhave started aiming for around week five).
Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to retire from the world of fantasy sports.
Christmas always meant two things in the Summersâ€™ household: Midnight Mass and presents.
When I was very little I used to think the presents were a prize for sitting through the interminable tri-lingual service (yup, an entire mass from beginning to end, delivered by three priests, in turn in English, French and Spanish). Catholic services are notoriously aerobic. In order, thereâ€™s the walk to the pew, the squat and bow before being seated, standing to welcome the celebrant to the altar, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, line forming, walking, bowing, kneeling, sitting, standing, walking out and the handshake at the end. (A friend once wondered aloud how many Weight Watcherâ€™s exercise points she could award herself for all the effort. We decided four minus one for the body of Christ at the end.) But Christmas mass was different, somewhere after the English homily, I would put my head on my momâ€™s shoulder and sleep until Christmas morning.
To this day Iâ€™m not entirely sure how I got out of my church dress and shoes, because I was always in feeted pajamas by morning. (I remember waking up once as she put me in my bed and asking if it was still Christmas, when she said yes, I asked if I could have my presents and she said Santa just got out of church too and hadnâ€™t delivered them yet.)
Since it was just the two of us, there wasnâ€™t a big decorated tree with gifts by the fireplace or anything. But when I woke up on Christmas morning, tickled awake by the smell of bacon and the sound of carols, my whole bed would be covered with presents from neck to toe â€“ the biggest box usually perched on my chest and smaller ones tucked beside my head, so they wouldnâ€™t tumble off when I sat up. Tearing and opening commenced immediately and did not stop until I could sit up. Atari 2600, Operation, Thundercats action figures â€“ all left on my bed for me after Santa got out of church. I canâ€™t remember the last year that I was buried in presents for Christmas, but this year came closest to replicating that sense of wonder about what Santa had dropped off.
I received lots of gifts from readers, relatives, friends and myself via Amazon and Overstock.com â€“ all shrouded in impenetrable brown cardboard until I pried them open on Christmas morning.
Esther sent me the Garden State soundtrack everyone has been raving about. Karol sent me the Dido CD I have been meaning to get for two years and a Beatles CD I didnâ€™t ask for (Well, I did ask for a Beatles CD mind you, she just judged that one, found it wanting and got me a different one.) Jake, the patron saint of Alarming News, got me two seasons of Futurama (why they cancelled that show, but brought back freaking Family Guy twice, Iâ€™ll never know.) My best friend got me both seasons of Alias and two seasons of the Simpsons, which I have been watching non-stop on my brand new flatscreen/DVD TV (which has a built in alarm to turn itself on in the morning!) I got the complete set of Lemony Snicket books, Jon Stewartâ€™s America, a bunch of video games, and three people completed the free ipod offer! (Just need two moreâ€¦)
I want to thank all those people for making this the most Christmasy-Christmas in my adult life and thank everyone for continuing to read and comment on Clareified, without you all I would be ranting out loud in the streets and I promised the N.Y.P.D. that I wouldn’t do that anymore.
Anyone who says Christmas has become too commercial has never seen the look on a childâ€™s face as she tears open a lone box placed at the foot of her bed to find an X-box inside.
Time to Dance Dance Revolution.
GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD
If there’s a better movie than Dodgeball, I don’t want to know about it. A little bit ‘Bring It On,’ ‘Happy Gilmore,’ that movie where Woody Harrelson has one hand, ‘Karate Kid’, and ‘Cinema Paradiso’, this is what movies only aspire to be.
“If you can dodge wrenches, you can dodge balls.” Were truer words ever spoken?