I have taken my Kerry/Edwards ’04 mission on the road!
After much deliberation, I finally settled on Arizona because, well, the housing was free — but who knows? Maybe I can help turn the Cactus State blue…er…Grand Canyon State.
I landed fairly early this morning. A bunch of us from Law School (including commenters pearatty and kaz) will be pounding the pavement here up through election day, but I arrived first.
I met pearatty’s mom at her store and she drove me over to their house. As we headed up the driveway, I saw a shadow behind me. I turned and saw nothing. We walked a few paces and again, I saw something dart ahead of us. When we reached the front door I realized, it was a golden brown cat.
“Hey, there’s a cat trying to get in,” I casually mentioned, not at all panicked and afraid.
“Oh, that’s pearatty’s little sister’s cat. The other one’s somewhere around here.”
“You don’t have a problem with cats or anything do you? You’re not allergic?”
Umm…allergic, no. Convinced they will kill me and eat my face as I sleep, yes.
“No, I’m fine.”
I got the quick tour of the ground floor — complete with the sink full of soaking meats for tomorrow night’s big barbecue (mmmmm…bar-b-cue)…
“You’re not a vegetarian are you?”
HA! Vegetarian? The only animals I like are those grilled to perfection and served with a side of potatoes!
“Great. I’ve got to get back to the store, but make yourself at home. You can leave that side door open, because no one ever goes back there.”
I wish my mom had a store. Except in my head, it would have to be a candy store where I could drop by after school and scoop up a handful of lemon drops on my way upstairs to do my homework. Yes, in my head I am Nellie and I live on the Prarie. But in a big house, where all the little people owe my parents money and I can bully all the poor kids at school…but I digress.
I slept the whole plane ride from New York, so I wasn’t tired enough to sleep again. Instead I decided to watch some Netflix DVDs that I brought with me.
I started with “Cold Mountain.”
I woke up about halfway through and started again with “Cold Mountain.”
After it finished, I headed outside to the bathroom.
I carefully closed the room door behind me and went out into the hallway.
The cat was waiting.
I darted into the bathroom and slammed the door.
I heard it scratching and meowing outside.
Then it pushed its body against the door.
Leaning with my full weight against the door, I started barking very loudly.
“Woof, woof. Grrrr.”
Cat was having none of me and my dog.
It stuck its paw under the door, swiping at my feet with its claws.
For the love of…how many times in one year are other people’s pets going to try to kill me?
I stayed in the bathroom for what seemed like an hour. I listened for sounds on the other side of the door. With one hand still pressed against the door, I leaned down to look under…coast was clear!
I dashed out and back into the bedroom.
I threw on my sneakers, grabbed an ATM card and a credit card and bolted out the house.
“Karol! Another cat tried to kill me,” I yelled into the phone.
“You’ve got isssues. Why don’t you just pet it?”
“Yah, so it can bite my fingers? No, thanks. I’m just going to get lunch and sit in a movie theater until pearatty’s mom gets back.”
I walked around until I came to a strip mall with a bank. I walked into the branch looking for an ATM machine.
“What the hell? How did I manage to find the only bank in America without an ATM?”
“Oh, yeah, same thing happened to me in Colorado. They probably have a drive-thru,” Karol explains.
“But I don’t have a car.”
“You have to walk through it.”
Of course, I get to the machine and realize my ATM card isn’t in my pocket.
Do I go back to the house? Or just use the credit card which I do have?
Evil cat be damned! I decide to head back.
I walk up the driveway. No cat!
I turn the knob to the open the side door…LOCKED!
I jiggle the handle a bit, still nothing.
I peer in though the window pane and I see a shadow of brown and gold fur glinting in the sunlight. I hear maniacal laughter.
Locked out, peniless, and hungry, I went back to the strip to weigh my options.
I could go back to pearatty’s mom’s store, tell her the cat tried to kill me and locked me out, probably end up spending the weekend in some Arizona psychiatric ward or find a place that takes Mastercard and blog until the 4:50 showing of Team America.
Oh, look. It’s almost time.
Did I mention I haven’t slept in a bed since 10 A.M. EST on Thursday?