Clareified

R.I.P

Three-year old Stephine Blue beaten to death at Day Care.

THE DAILY SHOW ISN’T FAKE NEWS

Yesterday featured a segment where the Daily Show correspondent delivered his report from the debate, revealing that “George Bush was better than Senator Kerry about presenting short, clear answers.”

“But the debate hasn’t happened yet,” Stewart protested.

Well, we write the story and then whatever happens, we make it fit what we wrote, the reporter explained.

The audience laughed.

Not so funny, now.

Geez.

KERRY SPEAKS!

Diane, if you look at it from this angle, the tan actually looks fine.

I watch the Daily Show

My scores prove it!

You got 6 out of 6 correct on your first attempt.

Excellent work! But when do you sleep?

How would you do?

Check your score against these averages:
• “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart viewers – 3.59 correct
• “The Tonight Show” with Jay Leno viewers – 2.95 correct
• “Late Show” with David Letterman viewers – 2.91 correct
• No late-night comedy viewing – 2.62 correct

Here’s to hoping Clareified readers score way above all of them.

YOU DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME…

But Ralph Reed is Mr. Hottie McGreat Hair.

Put the TV on mute and I could watch him for days.

Please don’t kick me out of the coalition.

WHY WE HATE HER

Me: I think my new goal is going to be to try-out for the Liberty in two years.

Karol: Yeah, right.

Me: What? It’s possible. They accept walk-ons.

Satan: Maybe, but I just don’t believe in you.

But starting tomorrow, we are in training for the 2007-2008 Liberty season.

Already hired the nutritionist…now, we’ve got to find a personal trainer.

AND NOW I AGREE WITH JUSTICE SCALIA
I also think abortion is too important an issue for him to decide.

Not the whole Supreme Court, mind you, just him.

WONDER IF THEY’LL BE VOTING FOR BUSH

Thelen, an Andrews Kurth litigation associate in Dallas, and Vaught, an associate with Irving’s Franklin Cardwell & Jones, first met in Judge Advocate General’s Corps training back in 1999, when supervisors assigned them to the same team and they discovered they both practiced in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Over the next five years, their paths would cross again and again, from the day the Army assigned them to the same battalion bound for Baghdad to the morning bombs almost blew their Humvee off a road in Iraq.

Now the two young lawyers, both of whom took their military oaths years before taking their bar oaths, have become skeptical of the potential for success in Iraq.

More.

FINALLY, A REAL VICTORY FOR LIBERTY

In a classic comeback, New York Liberty unseat the National champs by a bucket. Gotta love it!

The only thing sweeter is that reviled traitors Teresa Weatherspoon and Tamecka Dixon who left the Liberty for the even-more reviled L.A. Sparks are finished after just the first round.

Suckers.

NEVADA HEARTS BADNARIK

With Bush holding a narrow lead in the state, the libertarian candidate is polling at 3 percent.
Where is the coverage of this campaign.

Badnarik deserves to be heard!