Clareified

IS KERRY A PATRIOT? 

I think that Polish water answers the question for him.

Bowling 101

1. Drinking makes it better.

2. Don’t choose poo or ass as your name when playing with people you work with.

CONVENTION ROUNDUP
 
The big winner last night was Jesse Jackson. Twenty years ago, in a moment of sheer genius, he copyrighted the word “hope” when used in a political campaign, and will now collect ten cents every time Kerry/Edwards uses it. Cha-ching.

The big loser, the word “presumptive,” as Senator John Glenn put Kerry over the top as the official Democratic nominee for President.

The jury’s still out on what was cheesier: Kucinich’s “We will carry America for Kerry and Kerry will carry America for us,” or Elizabeth Edwards’ “John Kerry has something else in common with my dad: the right stuff.”

RIGHT…LIBERAL MEDIA

Or as put much more eloquently by Iocaste, when I called the President a right-wing nut job, I was just kidding.

Where is the mainstream media coverage of this?

Not that there’s anything wrong with using prescription drugs to control a psychiatric disorder, but the White House should be upfront about it with the American people.

via Iocaste

Update: a Clareified commenter sent the message “You can save face with a quick retraction… ” and the following link.

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2004_07/004402.php

However, rather than open myself up to charges that I am a flip-flopper on the issue of whether President Bush is a right-wing nut job, I will take a page from the Bush administration playbook and say simply: I received this intelligence from a respected source.  I acted decisively and the world is better for having the discussion about whether a President suffering from paranoid delusions can govern effectively. May God continue to bless the United States of America.

HOORAY

MY BLOG’S BACK TO NORMAL!!

WHO’S DA MAN?

FYI, there will be no more block quotes on Clareified.

BUSH FALLS
 
There’s a story on the wires about the President taking a nasty tumble while mountain biking yesterday:

Bush offered a glimpse of his new pastime to an Associated Press reporter Monday, roaming the dirt roads and far-flung pastures of his 1,600-acre ranch. About halfway through, he sailed over the handlebars during a dangerous descent, but dusted himself off, picked up his $3,100 bicycle and kept riding.

 
First off, did the AP send another reporter to cover the story of an AP reporter getting a glimpse of Bush’s new pastime or is this reporter writing about him or herself in third person? Dawn thinks it’s the latter.

Secondly, is it really news that President Bush “dusted himself off” picked up the bike and kept riding? I mean, how else could this story end?

“The President then sat in the dirt weeping for his mom while Secret Service agents offered him lollipops and assorted sweets to coax the brusied Commander-in-Chief to get up.” 

“The President leaped to his feet and then kicked the $3100 bicycle down the trail, muttering consider yourself part of the axis of evil, mister. Watch your back.”

Oddly enough, the most interesting part of the story — that the President possibly suffered brain damage which has impaired his memory, is casually mentioned in the end:

But out on the trail, it’s officially a politics-free zone. When the reporter points out that Democratic challenger John Kerry has a $8,000 road bicycle, Bush replied: “Who?”

PLEA BARGAIN NEGOTIATIONS GONE WILD

Man charged with murder for watching ‘Road Trip’

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR, KID
 
I’m taking this opportunity to steal, not only Annika’s commenter award, but candace’s idea of awarding it to commenters on other sites:
 
The unofficial Annika’s Huge comment of the week award TM goes to:
 
Natalie Potter. 

YA GOTTA BELIEVE

 
Kerry hates the Yanks!

[Interviewer]: When you get into office,* would you consider passing an executive order that would prevent Pedro from signing with the Yankees?
[Kerry]: I’d consider an executive order that abolishes the Yankees. We’ll have to set up some very strict regulations with respect to Yankee behavior. I think the Red Sox may take care of it. I think there may be an A-Rod backlash this year. I think there may be a reverse curse here.

If I had any reservations about Kerry before, and I’m not saying I did…
 
via Annika.

PLEASE STANDBY…
 
 
I have no idea what’s going on with the Clareifed layout. I have e-mailed blogger about the problem and although I haven’t heard back from their staff yet, I’m hoping that they’ll fix the problem soon.

Sorry.