Clareified

Where does the good go

T-12.5 Hours

T-12.5 Hours
My month-long sabbatical from television programming comes to an end at the stroke of midnight.

I am very excited. I have missed yelling at the TV during the Sunday morning gabfests, the NBA finals, the Mets/Yankees games, and finding out what the weather will be (damn you, sudden summer thundershowers.)

But in finding alternative ways to amuse myself these past four weeks, I have discovered a great many things:

1) The Loew’s on 34th Street charges $1.26 less than other theaters in the city.

2) I make terrible, terrible mix-tapes — one particularly egregious offender had Joan Osbourne, Coolio, Tina Turner, Lauryn Hill and Ton-Loc on it.

3) I am very lazy. Knowing that I would not want to rewind said tapes or flip them over I would just record songs I really liked, multiple times on a tape. Consequently, I’ve got the Spice Girls’ “Wanna” recorded three times in a row on side one. My mix-tapes: no good. Thank God for the CD burner.

4) All of my CDs are either scratched to the point of uselessness or are in the wrong CD cases. One should not open up an Tupac CD case and find Reba McEntire’s “For My Broken Heart.” One should not then attempt to play newly rediscovered “For My Broken Heart” and have it skip for fifteen minutes on the first song. Hmmm… come to think of it, one should not have put that skipping “For My Broken Heart” CD back in the Tupac CD case and returned it to the shelf to upset one again in the future…D’oh.

5) Why do I have tapes of episodes of Two Guys a Girl and a Pizza Parlor?

6) I still get choked up watching Patch and Kayla’s wedding! (I can also still name all the real life names of the entire casts of Days, Another World, Santa Barbara, All My Children, One Life to Live and General Hospital circa 1989)

7) I have a tape of a newsbroadcast from June 1987. The American President had pledged to get tough on terrorism, there were national hearings in Congress about the U.S.’s dealings with the middle east, there was an anthrax investigation being conducted and the Mets were struggling through the season. Seriously.

8) Commercials from the 80s were hilarious! No .com ads obviously, but boy were they excited about their diet colas and polaroid cameras.

9) Fresh air is not all it’s cracked up to be.

10) I will never unplug my TV again…

3 Responses to “T-12.5 Hours”

  1. Esther/Madonna Says:

    #10…
    Welcome back, Dawn. I’ve missed you.

    –Your TV

  2. Dawn Summers Says:

    hahahahahaha…I actually wondered if I would get a letter from the DirectTV folks about the “unusual” activity in my dish and digital recording usage…no such luck…

  3. Karol Says:

    How did I miss this post? I just read it.

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