Where does the good go



“I don’t understand why bear hugs enjoy such a good reputation”
Homer Jay Simpson

The grandeur of Yosemite National Park: the fresh air, sunshine, open spaces, majestic mountains, roaring rapids, starlit sky,… thank God that’s all behind me.

The day after I return from vacation is always so disorienting.
I am catching up on e-mails, blog reading, voicemail returning and trying to get my ears to return to pre-landing hearing capacity.
Add to that the leg soreness and back pain of a sedentary New Yorker climbing to the top of Mist Trail because “well, if everybody else is doing it.” (How on earth did I avoid the whole drug taking/shoplifting scene in high school, again?)
For the record, climbing 1000 FT at 9 in the morning, to look over the top of a waterfall — so not worth it. Oh, and the reason they call it “mist trail,” is because the spray from the waterfall drenches you as you ascend the mountain.
So, again: Wet, tired, in pain, top of waterfall…not worth it.
I also grew more and more impatient with the people who were ooohing and ahhing the whole way up
“This is breathtaking.”
“Oh, my God this is amazing.”
“Wow, the East Coast just doesn’t have anything comparable.”

Yeah, great: mountain pretty; city dirty. Where’s the elevator? Escalator? Helicopter???
At one point, I looked up and saw that the stairs stretched past my line of vision into the clouds, I started hearing Samwise encouraging me “You can do it, Mr. Frodo. Just a lit bit further.”
I hate Samwise.
When we finally reached the summit, I remember looking down the cliffs at the rushing water and thinking — if I could find a sturdy log and some vines, I could strap myself on and then head down the falls. They did it in the last Rugrats movie and everything turned out fine.
I think the hike leader could read my mind, because he suddenly pulled me ever so gently away from the edge.
Ironically, the hike down was even worse and at the end, I realized, I am right back where I started. Had I not climbed up, I wouldn’t have had to climb down and I would still be in the same place.
Of course, there was no news from the outside world available inside the park and coupled with my week of non-TV watching (I can’t believe it’s only been a week…) I feel quite out of the loop.
At the airport on Sunday I noticed all the front pages still had Ronald Reagan or Nancy Reagan on them… what’s up with that? Did he die again? Is there anything “new” about this “news?”
From the voice messages that have accumulated since last Thursday, I now know that my friends are not reading the blog. Will have to resort to drastic measures to ensure compliance.
Two Words: pop quizzes.
But they will have to wait until full feeling returns to my arms, legs, back, feet and nose (don’t ask.)
My hearing would also be nice.

3 Responses to “GUESS WHO’S BACK”

  1. cube Says:

    “1000 FT”

    only 1000 feet, come on.

    it takes 6000+ to see anything really cool.

    and it should have only taken an hour or an hour and a half to do that. Which is not bad at all.

  2. PAUL Says:

    You sound like a candidate for Outback Jack.

  3. Clareified » Blog Archive » That could have been me! Says:

    […] That’s the last time I go mountain climbing in Yosemite! […]

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