Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for March, 2004

KERRY COULD HAVE READ BEST OF THE WEB FOR FREE

Saturday, March 27th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

KERRY COULD HAVE READ BEST OF THE WEB FOR FREE

Presumptive Democratic nominee hires political consultant who tells him to stop being so ‘French.’

LIFE EXPERIENCE #32

Saturday, March 27th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

LIFE EXPERIENCE #32

You can, in fact, burn a paper cup, full of milk, in a microwave.

BRING…IT…ON

Saturday, March 27th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

BRING…IT…ON

Kerry challenges Bush Admin to prosecute Clarke for perjury.

Suddenly all that “jail cell next to Martha” talk doesn’t seem so crazy.

You Don’t Say

Friday, March 26th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

You Don’t Say

Federal judge sentences former Dynegy VP Jamie Olis to 24 years in prison, leading critics to claim that federal sentencing guidelines are too harsh.
“Twenty-four years is the stiffest sentence doled out to a white-collar criminal in recent years, experts said. Short of capital punishment or a life sentence, the prison term, in practice, puts Olis in the same category as murderers and robbers.”

For the record he did “steal” $300 million, most robbers don’t come close to seeing that much loot.

RANDOM THOUGHT #15,001 & #15,002

Friday, March 26th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

RANDOM THOUGHT #15,001 & #15,002

If the Apprentice ends with Donald “this is my own hair, it just sucks” Trump saying “You’re Hired,” I am going to wretch.

Either Kwami or Nick will be fired next week.

LENNY, SAY IT AIN’T SO!!

Friday, March 26th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

LENNY, SAY IT AIN’T SO!!

Orbach may leave Law & Order at Season’s End.

WELL, IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS PUNCHED IN THE FACE

Friday, March 26th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

WELL, IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS PUNCHED IN THE FACE

Judge orders attorney to continue working with client who attacked her co-counsel. After being jailed for contempt when she refused, an appeals court upheld the trial court’s ruling.

META TELEVISION

Friday, March 26th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

META TELEVISION

I don’t know if it started with the Newhart series finale where it turned out the show was all a crazy dream by the Bob Newhart show’s crazy physchiatrist… nah, that’s much more in the crossover genre, a la Spin City’s former deputy mayor, Michael Flaherty commenting that he’d met Family Ties’ Alex P. Keaton in D.C. or Ally McBeal kissing Bobby Donnell.

So maybe it started with the Simpsons riffing on the Cosby Show in the episode where Bleeding Gums dies or Murphy Brown watching the real-life Dan Quayle accuse her eroding family values at a press conference. TV characters commenting on television happenings was certainly in full bloom by the time Jerry Seinfeld was hooked up to “Polly” when his date didn’ t believe that he’d never watched ‘Melrose Place.’

And this past week it’s just been all the rage. First Junior Soprano imagines that ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ is about him when he flips past it, while scanning the television’s offerings. Then Karen and Jack despair about losing Sex and the City, but comfort themselves with the knowledge that they’ll always have ‘Fraiser’ and ‘Friends’…until they realize, they won’t.

The toungue-in-cheek, wink and nod definitely gets the quick laughs from those in the know. Television junkies are rewarded with a nationally watched head-pat for their commitment, not just to one show, but to all of television.

It’s a tricky trick to pull on viewers. I mean if Karen and Jack are watching Friends, what comes on after it in their New York City? If Junior gets HBO how has he managed to miss the reelentless blitz of On-Demand Sopranos?

OK, so it’s not a serious issue like whether President Bush can make fun of the MIA WMD, but it really makes you think.

After all, it’s television.

(Though I am looking forward to more on-air Simpsons/South Park anifeuding.)

P.S. How is it that the 8 p.m., Sunday night Simpsons can get away with several man-on-man open mouth kisses, but the 9 p.m., Thursday night Will has to give the shoulder to shoulder camp counselor hug to his boyfriend?

Kerry Giveth, and Kerry Taketh Away

Friday, March 26th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

Kerry Giveth, and Kerry Taketh Away

Kerry advocates closing tax loopholes on American companies relocating jobs and production abroad… but then will use the increased revenue to lower corporate taxes.

Half-way there.

MY, WHAT A BIG MOUTH YOU HAVE

Thursday, March 25th, 2004 by Dawn Summers

MY, WHAT A BIG MOUTH YOU HAVE

All the better to blow…up at scandalous participants of the politics of personal destruction with, my dear.