TO PETER: WHAT’S THAT SMELL?
“TOKYO March 30, 2004, 9:03 a.m. — Like sushi rotting in the sun, the Yankees stunk this morning at the Tokyo Dome. In any language, the odor drifting across the Pacific toward New York and Tampa was rank. For this Yankee fans awoke at 5 a.m.? ”
Clareified: All about education and information.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, CONDI-DO
Embattled National Security Advisor will testify under oath before the 9/11 Commission.
I’m guessing somebody figured out the difference between Congress and those appointed by Congress.
EIGHT DIRTY WORDS YOU CAN’T SAY ON TELEVISION?
Censors bleeped Janet Jackson last night for saying ‘Jesus’ on David Letterman.
Can Congressional hearings about Amy Grant’s music be far behind?
A VOTE FOR NADER IS A VOTE FOR KERRY?
Poll indicates that Nader pulls votes from Kerry and Bush, equally!
WATCH YOUR BACK BRITNEY
On the Today Show this morning, an Executive at People magazine said, in response to Matt Lauer’s question about any cover photos that have bombed:
The worst was when we ran Ann-margaret’s photo the week that Elvis died because we thought Elvis’ death was too much of a downer for the cover “Of course, we’ve learned that the death of celebrities, especially tragically, is very good business for us.”
IT’S JUST ONE BABY
Conservative gun nuts often mock gun-control advocates’ invocation of child safety as one of the reasons increased gun regulation is necessary. The derision usually goes something like “how many kids really die as a result of guns?”
I’m guessing this mom will think her one baby is enough.
OPEN DOOR POLICY
According to a Circuit Court, cops can now search a home without a warrant.
Better hide the kiddie porn and sawed off shotguns, folks.
(I don’t even want to imagine the search requests this post is now going to show up for…)
Kucizzle in the hizzle!”
Lest everyone forget, there is another candidate for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination. I’m glad that Letterman is still working on a strategy for victory!
Highlights of the Top Ten:
9. Constitution is amended stating presidents must be 35 or older, a natural-born citizen and named “Dennis.”
7. You want crazy campaign promises — fine! If I’m elected, everybody gets a million bucks.
3. According to the order of presidential succession, if George W. Bush were to resign today, along with Dick Cheney and about 300 other people, the presidency passes to a congressman from Ohio.
Kucinich ’04!
YOU AND ME BOTH, GARFIELD
I hate Mondays. Can’t they put Alias on Monday nights? Move Malcolm and Arrested Development to Wednesdays or Tuesday at 9.