WHO KNEW?
If you knock over a fire hydrant, a geyser of water does not come shooting up, like the commercials and movies would have you believe.
Not that you should be knocking over firehydrants, but well, it’s good to know.
Via Alarming News
Poster courtesy Allah Pundit. (If it shows up, it’s been flashing in and out, so if it’s gone, pardon the red x).
John Edwards was in New York City today and I missed it! 
I called my bestest friend in the whole wide world today to tell her we missed our chance to tell John Edwards we want to marry him.
She yelled at me for dropping the ball.
I cried.
But hey, we can drive up to Rochester next week!
Actually, I think we’d both be willing to donate the highest amount allowed by law for individual donors, if John Edwards would have dinner with us. (Anybody have connections to the campaign?)
I could make my world famous Rice Krispies squares.
Don’t worry Peter, I am still voting for Dennis.
(I’m just saying that John, I love you.)
D’oh!
A reverend is running a class that uses ‘The Simpsons’ to turn kids onto God.
“God is not mocked in this show,” Miller told ABCNEWS’ Dan Harris. “Sincere religious belief is not mocked in the show. And those are some of the few things that are not mocked in the show.”
Ummm… okilly dokilly, if he says so.
I DARE YOU NOT TO LAUGH
Seriously. Go ahead. Try.
(Turn down the volume on your computer speakers though, my whole hallway now thinks I’m a huge Cindi Lauper fan.)
The thing about starting a new job is that everyday, at least for a few weeks, you’ll be making a first impression.
So for a former late-riser, business way casual and sneakers-wearer, I’ve had to make some pretty drastic adjustments. 7:30 wake-ups, suits, and *gasp* shoes.
It’s the latter that poses the most difficulty. I have pretty messed up footsies due to bad genetics and 12 years of ballet dancing, so I’ve always preferred sneakers and flat shoes to heels or fancy boots. Furthermore, now I have a longer commute on the ever-crowded NYC subways and I’m travelling at the traditional rush hours.
The combination has caused me to think a lot about chivalry.
My friend’s brother, an adorably well-raised, young man complains that he hates taking the subway from Manhattan’s Upper east side to Brooklyn because he has to stand for most of the hour-and-a-half long trip.
I couldn’t believe that not one seat would open up on the whole trip and asked why he was standing so long. Basically, he said he couldn’t sit, if there was a woman standing, so he always ended giving up his seat.
See? adorably well-raised.
My subway ride is probably 35 minutes door-to-door, but in heels, it feels like two days.
As I stand rocking back and forth in sub-human crowd conditions, I scour the cars looking at the faces of the seated — those lucky bastards obliviously reading their papers and drinking their lattes. I especially loathe the sleepers.
My eyes implore “C’mon mister…get up. Get up. GET UP!!!!!!”
It worked once. But truth be told, I think I may have said the words out loud instead of just thinking them.
Oh well, I got a seat and was happy.
But for the most part, the adorably well-raised don’t ride the Q train from the ECB to Midtown during rush hour. The cold, selfish, seat-grubbers do and the rest of us are left only with bitterness.
That and racial profiling.
The hippie looking white kids will most likely get off at the NYU stop, the middle aged Asian women, the Chinatown stop, the business suit wearers, Penn Station and so on…
I don’t know what these people are complaining about, at least they are sitting.
Kid Solves His Own Abduction
You really can find anything on the Internet!
For those of you who hate to click:
“The boy spotted his own photo, taken when he was 3, on a Canadian missing children’s Web site a few months ago and told a teacher about it, authorities said. The teacher contacted police, who then confirmed the story with Canadian authorities. ”
The police have arrested the 17-year-old’s mother and placed the boy in a foster home.
The story reminded me of when I was little and used to search for evidence that I was adopted. Of course, I was hoping that I was a long-lost Jackson, but that’s another story.
I HAD A DREAM
No seriously, I’m stealing a page from Candace and sharing one of my wacky dreams.
Well, not all of it — I’m still not sure what the whole duck swimming with the bear part was about — but I dreamt I was working on the Clinton/Edwards presidential campaign!
As I am mildly psychic, there’s my bold prediction for 2008.
CLEARED
Grand Jury declines to indict officer who fatally shot a Brooklyn teen last month. Raymond Kelly has some ’splaining to do.
I haven’t seen the movie but…
According to this article, the lead in Mel Gibson’s ‘Passion’ was struck by lightining.
We may never know what the Pope thought, but it seems God has clearly weighed in on the issue.
TALK ABOUT TERMINATION
Maybe Donald Trump could incorporate this into ‘The Apprentice?’