Clareified

Where does the good go

Archive for December, 2003

Nancy Pants

Wednesday, December 24th, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Nancy Pants

A couple of nights ago I watched the Showtime biopic, “The Reagans.” A couple of things jumped out at me, right away —
First: Judy Davis is an amazing television actress. Lifetime should immdiately sign her to a multi-movie deal for any number of their women in distress movies of the week, especially since Nancy McKeon is now otherwise gainfully employed.

Second: Boring, boring, boring. There’s just no pop to the film in the beginning…it’s a big snoozer — couldn’t they show him on dates with Shirley Temple or on the set of his movies…ooh and a cameo by Jane Wyman would have been priceless!

Third: The Reagans were absolutely awful parents. There’s this scene where Michael Reagan comes to visit and Nancy’s two children just stare at him in disbelief. Nancy, then goes to Ronnie and says “You should talk to them, Patti is positively ashen.” Ronnie replies “Mommy, you’re better at this kind of thing than I am.”
Nancy then cooly saunters over to young Patti and says “That’s your brother and his sister Maureen is your sister.”
I was in hysterics. Imagine what Dr. Phil would say…
Yesterday, I read the People magazine article about the present-day Reagans and how they struggle with the former President’s illness. Patti has a piece in the magazine about how she and her mother have reconciled ever since the death of her half-sister Maureen. At the end she adds that she and her mother read the script for “The Reagans” before the movie’s release and her mother commented “I’m sorry for the way you were portrayed.” Now, I know Patti takes this as a kind gesture from her mother, but having just finished the near-three hour flick, I have to say — the only person that came off really badly was Al Haig and Nancy Reagan.
Sure Patti is shown doing drugs, but who could blame her???
Nancy is the one that is painted as an egotistical, controlling, wacked-out, prima dona — so unless there were substantial edits to the script the only person that should be pitied is Nancy.

Well, and maybe Ron for that inexplicable 20 seconds when his 8 year old self is shown prancing around the Governor’s residence.

Free Lenny

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Free Lenny

OK, so he’s dead, but still…this is good news.

Why Do We Hate Them?

Monday, December 22nd, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Why Do We Hate Them?

Listening to the news last night was a veritable color coded roadmap to hysteria. We’re at orange again.
Basically, that means we are supposed to live our lives while glancing over our shoulders every once in a while.

Tom Ridge suggested that an attack may come around Christmas.

Christmas.

Now, I’m too young to remember it first-hand, but I remember tapes of Walter Cronkite saying:

“Goodnight, it’s Christmas Eve, it’s seven o’clock and there’s peace in the world. Don’t know if there’ll be peace in the world tomorrow night but we know, tonight, Christmas Eve, there’s peace in the world.”

Christmas was the big annual time-out. Those were the rules of engagement.

Sadly, the rules have changed, the world has changed, now my friends have changed.

I read once that change is one thing, change for the better is another.

Here’s hoping for the latter.

Coffee Tawk

Monday, December 22nd, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Coffee Tawk

Parcells leads his fourth team into the playoffs, is he the Pat Riley of football? Discuss amongst yourself.

John Carney… Is he the Bill Buckner of football or Scott Norwood of the 21st century? Discuss amongst yourselves.

GENERATION X-FILES

Sunday, December 21st, 2003 by Dawn Summers

GENERATION X-FILES


At one time or another, all my close friends have gotten the following call from me:

“Hey, I’m walking through a desolate area. I’m going to keep talking to you until I get to safety, if you hear the cell clatter to the floor or my muffled screaming, call 911.”

or this one:

“You know, we should probably have some kind of codeword, so that if we are ever kidnapped and replaced with doubles, we can tell which is the real one of us. I was thinking “Shreveport.” (Don’t worry, I’m changing it now.)

Recently, I had conversation number one, with an old acquaintance and let’s just say it was less successful than I had anticipated.
After repeating my location and describing my outfit, I did the quick quiz:
“OK, so where am I again?”
“Umm… Brooklyn?”
“Yes, but where specifically?”
“Ummm…hold on…(laughter)”
“What’s so funny? Hello? Life and death here.”
“No, right — My boyfriend is wearing lights on his head and dancing around without pants. (more laughter)”

I waited a few minutes for the hysterics on the other end to subside and repeated my location and attire.

“Albany and Prospect. Red jacket, pink sneakers,” she finally repeated.

Phew. Suddenly, a group of ten teenagers came pouring out of a local bodega… I ducked into a stairway and hid behind the stairs. They were shouting obscenities at once another (best I can tell, the feud was about some kind of incestous relationship between a cat and its mother)

I stayed very quiet, and could hear my friend saying “hello? hello?” over and over on the other end of the phone.
Finally, when they moved a little further up the block, I replied “All clear, I’m ok.”

Now she really starts laughing.
“Tell him to stop that dancing around.”
“No, that’s not why I’m laughing.”
“Then, what?”
“Well, I heard lots of yelling and you didn’t answer when I kept saying hello…but I still didn’t call the police.”
Hmm… she had a point
“Well, why didn’t you call the police?”
“I don’t know. But I’m glad I didn’t”
“But I could have been dead.”
“Well, you’re not.”
I fired her (or she quit) and decided the boyfriend would be better suited for the all important job of 911 caller.
I was wrong.
“I’m still alive.”
“Good. But [Dawn], if the situation changes and you are not still alive. I want you to call immediately.”
Laughter.

When will this end?

Saturday, December 20th, 2003 by Dawn Summers

When will this end?

Can the press please stop encouraging him? I’ve got dinner riding on his quitting soon.

Public Library Blogging

Friday, December 19th, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Public Library Blogging

Now, for the non-insane post of the day. I grew up on a block with a public library. I’ve never been sure if I became an egghead because I spent so much time here or if I spent so much time here because I was an egghead.
Your modern-day chicken conundrum.
Over the years the library went from my free babysitter, to the place I could check e-mail when I came home from college, to the place I borrowed videos from when I was broke in law school.
Now, it’s where I blog!

I love watching people use computers in the library. The users run the gamut from high schoolers writing their college essays to old ladies making cards for the grandchildren. Yesterday, I sat next to an actor who started punching the monitor when he received an e-mail telling him he didn’t get a part (in the library other people’s screens are in the public domain.) He was escorted out by the library security guard after three blows…I’ve helped people write cover letters and showed an old man how to close out of word.
“X marks the spot!” He laughed and said he could remember that.

The library is fun, cool and free.
Uh oh…something tells me the egghead question is not as hazy as it once appeared.

I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

Friday, December 19th, 2003 by Dawn Summers

I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!

When is HBO going to release the second season of Six Feet Under?
I want it, I need it, I…. arrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh.

Now, give me back my year and a half

Thursday, December 18th, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Now, give me back my year and a half

Padilla ordered released from military custody.

“In a setback to the Bush administration’s anti-terrorism policies, a federal appeals court ruled Thursday that the president does not have the power to detain an American citizen seized on U.S. soil as an enemy combatant.”

Muchas Gracias a Justice!!!

Thursday, December 18th, 2003 by Dawn Summers

Muchas Gracias a Justice!!!

Lately the New York local newscasts have taken to playing a recorded “thank you to *insert sponsor* for paying for the Spanish translation of the broadcast.”
A typical one would go “Muchas Gracias a Dodge Motors for sponsoring tonight’s S.A.P. broadcast.”
Since I learn everything from TV, I would like to say: Muchas Gracias a long-time reader and one-time commenter, Justice, for the Amazon gifts. I was “shocked and totally awed”, by the presents and the note; it kicked started my holiday season.
I can’t wait to see if they’ll find Nemo or not! :-)