Clareified

DRIVE SAFELY

This is supposed to be one of the heaviest travel-by-car days of the year. Traffic accidents are the number one cause of spinal cord injury and one of the leading causes of death amoung people 25-50. So be careful on the road remember, it’s better to get there late than to be “late” when you get there, if you know what I mean.

Helpful hints:

Go Slow — posted speed limits are the outer limit, not a suggestion!
Hold Your Lane — zig zags are for crossword puzzles
No flipping the bird or pulling out your glock on the highway — self-explanatory

Because I will do anything for a hit (and Rick says Haikus are in)

So Here’s one:

Pie-Oh-My

Dawn is a bad friend
I should have returned her call
But I had Netflix

BATEMAN BATMAN?

Remember the first Batman? Not the Adam West TV Show — the cool, sleek, 1990s movie with Jack “wait’ll they get a load of me” Nicholson and Michael Keaton? It had that Prince song “Vi-vi-vicky vale” and the Seal song.

Man, that movie rocked.
I had a Batman T-Shirt with the Joker on it (always love the bad guy, I do) and Batman sunglasses. I saw the movie, like three times, in its first weekend in release.
But now, as if Alicia Silverstone was not insult enough to the franchise, they’ve put Patrick Bateman into the codpiece.

For shame.

What has he done besides that horrible chainsaw movie, anyway?

Bleech.

I know it’s wrong to laugh…

No, really. Wrong. It’s really wrong. Stop it.

Givin’ As Good As We Get

I WON AGAIN! I WON AGAIN! I WON AGAIN! My now exactly as-good-as-it-is-bad, team is now 6-6.

KING ME

Patriot Paradox’s kicks off the first ever Blog jousting tournament!

Monday Funday

All weekend I’ve been watching the talking heads debate the merits and dangers of allowing gay marriage. Personally, I don’t see why the conservative right is so up at arms on this issue. From what I know about married couples, allowing gay marriage is probably the best bet for decreasing gay sex.

President Bush makes a funny

In a speech during his visit to England…
“Known for his humorous one liners, President Bush could not resist making reference to the protesters in his speech. “It was pointed out to me that the last noted American to visit London stayed in a glass box dangling over the Thames,” said the president, making reference to the illusionist David Blaine. “A few might have been happy to provide similar arrangements for me. I thank Her Majesty the Queen for interceding.””

Brooklyn Nets

Boston has its “1918,” Brooklyn has 1957. The year the Brooklyn Bums were uprooted and transplanted to LA LA land to become the L.A. Dodgers. I wouldn’t be born for about another twenty years to parents who hadn’t moved to Brooklyn yet, but still I was raised to mourn the loss. “That’s Ebbet’s Field,” my mom says everytime we pass the housing complex built on athletic hallowed ground.

“Bastards,” she predictably adds.

Well, according to newsletters from the Brooklyn borough President Marty Markowitz, the Mayor and the Governor of New York are trying to lure the Nets to Brooklyn!
I don’t know if it’ll heal the broken hearts of the Brooklyn Dodger fans, but I’m so psyched that we might be getting a pro Sports team of Brooklyn’s very own!
If they sold shirts, I’d already have two!

Oh, yeah, I’m weird.

Via Annika