Clareified

So Sad

Lynch Rescuer Killed

Did anyone see David Cassidy sing God Bless America during Game 3 of the World Series?

Quick question: Did he do that to his face intentionally or was it some tragic attempt to discover the fountain of youth gone bad?

SHOUT OUT

HAHAHHAHA, just typed in blooger.com hahahahaha… ok, I’m tired. That’s not funny at all. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that my crazy Russian friend has started a blog. He kicks it off with the always hilarious “as they say in Russia” line… in this case:
“as they say in Russia: “get on the troika before a bear
bites
your balls off!”

Where does he get this stuff? Oh, yeah- Russia.

Also, my always sexy Republican friend also has a blog – complete with a transcript of his conversation with with Rush Limbaugh.

Check them out!

Where do I sign?

Oprah ‘04

THE BAD GUYS DON’T WEAR BLACK HATS ANYMORE

I used to love election primaries. It’s the one opportunity that party faithfuls have to choose a candidate that represents their political ideal. Even as recently as Green versus Ferrer, there was ideology at stake. I tsked the Al Sharpton posters and watched their debates. Gore versus Bradley — “Why don’t you just walk down the hallway to the Oval Office and have the President sign this bill, Al?” Bradley needled. “You know, racial profiling practically began in New Jersey, Senator Bradley.” Ooh, he zinged ya!
Ahh, those were the days.
Democrats used to be about pro choice, anti-death penalty, affirmative action, affordable housing, financial support for the elderly and poor, public education, protecting the environment, foreign aid, potatoes in every pot, candy and fluffy pillows.

Used to be.

Now, “Democrat” (or even Republican, I suppose) is no longer an innate orientation, but a fanciful preference. Good Morning, Mabel. Think I’ll be a Democrat today, pass the toast. Even when I can see the whites of their eyes, I can’t tell who the enemy is. Michael Bloomberg says he’s a Republican, but sits on the board of my most cherished charity and raised taxes and has a surprising surplus (and notice it’s the Democrat that wants to cut taxes now)… Lieberman says he’s a Democrat but wants to sanitize my music and movies and still supports our preemptive war with Iraq, even as the administration slinks away from its decision. And let’s not even talk about General Clark, has he registered in the party, yet?

Politics is supposed to be easy: every good liberal Democrat has a faded bumper sticker that says “Contract? I didn’t sign no contract?”(or the more recent: No Blood for Oil sticker), a pink triangle pin that says “silence = death,” and some piece of tie-dyed clothing.

Good conservative Republicans (from what I’ve seen on Sunday talk shows) plaid bowtie, american flag lapel pin and a dartboard with either Bill Clinton or Hillary Clinton’s holed filled picture on it.

But opportunistic party chairmen and candidates corroded the simplicity. Cafeterism prevails: May I have a nice piece of prescription drug benefit, a spoon of welfare reform, with a side a spending increases (not too much, just for national security), ooh that execution looks just delicious, can I have one…hmmm ok, and a little dash of equal opportunity. Great, thanks to drink? Umm, how about some trickle down economics, wait make that DIET!

The result is that all the candidates end up offering the same policies with a slighly different spin - leading to the ridiculous “electable democratic wing of the Democratic party” versus the democratic wing of the electable party or conservative compassionism. Someone like Nader was so appealing because he was just crazy enough to run a campaign without compromising on any of the issues — everything was there: lock stock and tie dye!
My friends have been asking me who I’m voting for in the primaries and now that I think about it, I would like: One spoon of Gephardt’s health care plan, some of Dean’s civil rights commitment, a side of Kerry’s economic policy, a bit of Edwards’ looks with a dash of Sharpton’s sense of humor. Oh, and a peace (ha ha) of Kucinich (I need the fiber). Plus, a tall glass of Lieberman’s pragmatism to drink.

Sure, what the hell, supersize it.

What is Going On at NYU?

Third Student Leaps to Death

I laughed at this when I first saw it, but now I’m not so sure.

ABANDON SHIP

I caught a bit of SNL last night. Two key observations:

1) Britney Spears is done. Tiffany, Jennifer Paige, Debbie Gibson (sorry, Deborah) please give her a call, she’ll need your support.

2) SNL is done. What the &*&%% was up with that racist Native American “comic” skit? Or the horrible reprise of the famous “Da Bears” sketch. George Wendt in shimmery black teddy couldn’t even save this disaster. Lorne, you’ve made enough money. It’s too late to exit gracefully, but you can still exit.
Scrap this whole celebrity host/ scripted sketch comedy crap. Get the best of your former regulars to host the show (Hi, Eddie? It’s Lorne), let your cast improvise the skits (part of the problem is their inability to read the cue cards and maintain eye contact with the other people in the skit.) Or tape some of the best written skits beforehand (yeah, Live Schmive — the funniest parts of the show have been the pre-done Robert Smigel cartoons!) — Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon cannot carry this sinking ship anymore— it’s just taking them down with it.

WOO HOO!

Gas prices in East Coco Beach: $ 1.97!

The Game Does Need Me

There’s a dead mouse in the basement of my building,
It’s been there for days, but I can’t say what killed him

Shout Out

Thanks to Annika for the permalink!