Clareified

R.I.P.

ER used to have these great emotional scenes where one of the doctors would be working on a crashed patient, desperately trying to bring them back.
You would hear them grunt as sweat poured down their face, while their colleagues stood at the bedside sadly listening to the monotone of the flatline.
“Dammit I’m not giving up on you. Turn it up to sixty.” Goes the typical dialogue.
“Clear” Zap. Pump, pump, grunt.
“Turn it up to 70.”
“I’m sorry, she’s been down too long.”
Remember the pregnant woman with preeclampsia, that Mark misdiagnosed? Or Lucy?(Softly mouthing: P.E.?)
“I’m calling it.” Usually Romano, but sometimes Carrie.
“No goddamn it.” Pump Pump.
“Look, we’ve lost her. You did your best. Let’s go tell her husband.”
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
When they were really going for the waterworks, the doctor would stay, alone in the ER, pumping and pumping until the executive producer tags came on.
Killer.
Well, after almost a decade of watching ER, I know when it’s time to call it.

At shortly after ten p.m. Sunday night, the patient expired. Last words “I can promise you, your bristle won’t be getting wet tonight.”
“David E. Kelley, we’ve lost ‘The Practice’.”
The doctors did their best. Sharon Stone was flawless and Spader gave it the old college try, but there’ll be no cooler ‘decapitated head in the office’ story than George Vogelman.
No better, ‘not guilty by reason of automation’ than when Lindsey argued that five bullets fell out of her Professor’s gun killing the stalker at his door.
Sigh.
Those were the days. Res ipsa pipsqueak. Helen Gamble feeling all responsible for the death of those cops in the drug raid. Jimmy the Grunt. Vanessa from the Cosby show yelling at Rebecca for smacking her kid.
Dylan McDermott.
And now it’s gone.
Hmm, maybe it’s doing crossovers with Ally McBeal in TV heaven?
The good news is that now, I’m down to 7 hours.

Unbelieveable. Sometimes even the Florida Marlins will win the World Series.

I know right now, you can’t tell…

I went to the Matchbox 20 concert at Madison Square Garden on Friday night and it was very, very loud. Fountains of Wayne opened for them (You know, the band that penned the MILF torch song …”Stacey can’t you see, you’re just not the girl for me. I know it may be wrong, but i’m in love with Stacey’s mom.) They were good (humble and grateful for the opportunity, it reminded me of the time I saw Destiny’s Child in the Arena, I took my mom to a Brian McKnight concert for Mother’s Day and they were opening for him– they were just four sweet girls trying to entertain a crowd of middle-aged women who were just there to see Brian strip (I mentioned, it was my mom’s present, right?) They were nervous, and Beyonce was very earnest in her attempts to get the audience singing along…). Anyways, concert good. The best thing about going to concerts at the Garden is being able to sing as loud as I want without anyone poking me in the eye. The worst thing is that everyone else is also singing as loud as they can and I can’t poke them in the eye either. Thus, the two days of ear ringing.
My office building showed up in one of the background montages of NYC– I cheered and cheered and then realized I was cheering my office building. Lord, help me.
Speaking of sad pathetic moments in my life — my boss called me a “lawyer” on Friday! Not “junior associate,” or “bane of my existence” or “Stacey (long story, but that ain’t my name and yet he calls me that)” nope I got called “lawyer.” Well, he was speaking generally and said “feel free to ask any of the lawyers to help you.” But I was in the room and so — it counts! woo hoo.

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell …. Rob Thomas said so!

FORGET WINONA!

PAT, COME BACK, WE FORGIVE YOU!

Now that he’s resigned from Miami, maybe Riley will come back to coach the Knicks. Do the Knicks have a coach yet? Do they still play basketball?
Oh, and who knew there was a Stan van Gundy?

3-2

What will I do with this spare $9,000 now?

The world’s rich just can’t catch a break.

On the Kobe Bryant trial, Den Beste writes:

The defendant is guilty, simply because he’s a man. Whether he actually committed rape in this case or not, he surely did some other time, or will some time in the future if he thought he can get away with it, or he’ll harm women some other way. One way or another, he deserves to be punished. And his conviction symbolically convicts all other men, for they are all complicit.

This is not justice, it’s political theater.

Are you kidding me?

The Kobe case is an interesting one for so very many reasons: 1) African-American defendant versus white victim; 2) Celebrity versus mere mortal; 3) the rights of the accused to confront the accuser versus the rights of rape victim to privacy.

But in no way is this a showdown of men versus women — certainly not one where the men are destined to lose. After going through some specious argument about all the poor unheard male victims of domestic abuse, he then makes the laughable flying leap that men are, pardon the pun, screwed. Once accused they stand a ‘good chance of being convicted’ because they are men.

Actually, most experts agree that rape is one of the most underreported crimes and, one of the most difficult to prove. Take the Bryant case — here’s a woman who may have had sex with multiple people on the day that she says Kobe raped her — ideally, that sexual history shouldn’t matter, right? If she said yes four times that day and no once, that once is rape, no? End of story? Not even close.

Bryant’s defense, rightly so, should be able to show that maybe the injuries she says came from the rape really came from other sexual activity. But in the minds of a jury later, that could be extrapolated, wrongly so, to prove, ‘well, if she said yes, those four times, she probably said yes with Kobe.’
(Donating money, after all, is a very different experience than having one’s purse snatched.) But sadly, women who are perceived as “loose” or “easy” face an uphill credibility battle.
Further, rapes usually occur in remote or intimate places (a desolate alley or a hotel room). Which leads examiners to ask “why was she jogging at 4 in the morning?” or “why did she go up to his room?” Who asks an armed robbery victim, “why were you wearing jewelry or have money in your wallet.”

There are all sorts of societal mores and norms which color opinions on whether rape really occurred. The crime involves a third party untangling the circumstances of one of the most intimate acts — months, sometimes years after the fact. But once someone reports a crime, any crime, they are entitled to have their claims investigated, the accused is entitled to a presumption of innocence and both are entitled to a fair hearing on the merits. No doubt, the victim’s life is inevitably changed by the process and the accused’s life, too, may suffer irreparable damage — but what is the alternative?

This isn’t political theater or entertainment of any kind, it’s real life.
It’s American justice.

P.S. I am heartened by Den Beste’s concern for male victims of rape in prison, because it is a problem that our society should address to ensure that inmates, can serve their sentences without fear of physical injury or increased risk of infection or attack.

There Goes The Chances For The ‘What’s Happening?’ Reunion

Hey Hey Hey

Whew

I felt so bad for Urbina last night. He comes on the mound after an impressive 8 inning outing by the Marlins’ starter and *bang* gives up the two runs. It was almost Benitez-esque in its blown save devastation. If the Marlins lost the game, you could just tell that he was going to have to join the witness protection program.