Clareified

Those days are gone forever; I should just let 'em go but…

Where’s East Coco Beach?

Where’s East Coco Beach?

I’ve lived in NYC all my life. I’ve lived here through the ’77 blackout, seedy Times Square, the Crown Heights Riot, both terrorist attacks on the Trade Center — a long time now. But even so, I have no idea where anything is anymore. Correction: I know exactly where 33rd Street and 2nd Avenue is, but no idea what Murray Hill is — I can find Grimaldi’s under the Brooklyn Bridge, but DUMBO? That’s a head scratcher. Who is walking around my fair city, drawing lines and renaming its neighborhoods? (Yes, I’m looking at you Joe and Jane Corcoran!) So, in the spirit of Nolita and Clinton Hill — I introduce you all to East Coco Beach, located in the south eastern section of Brooklyn. It boasts ample residential housing, a multi-cultural Caribbean flavor and not one Starbucks or Baby Gap, four miles in any direction. Truly unspoiled terrain.

28 Responses to “Where’s East Coco Beach?”

  1. YOUseeME Says:

    i never been!

  2. YOUseeME Says:

    i never been!

  3. YOUseeME Says:

    i never been!

  4. Mike Says:

    Imagine a current New Yorker originally from Florida (home of the city of Coco Beach) stumbling on this entry… being very confused for a second… and then laughing hysterically.

  5. Mike Says:

    Imagine a current New Yorker originally from Florida (home of the city of Coco Beach) stumbling on this entry… being very confused for a second… and then laughing hysterically.

  6. Mike Says:

    Imagine a current New Yorker originally from Florida (home of the city of Coco Beach) stumbling on this entry… being very confused for a second… and then laughing hysterically.

  7. Mike Says:

    Ahh, the town in Florida is actually Cocoa Beach. Close enough! Anyway, like the blog.

  8. Mike Says:

    Ahh, the town in Florida is actually Cocoa Beach. Close enough! Anyway, like the blog.

  9. Mike Says:

    Ahh, the town in Florida is actually Cocoa Beach. Close enough! Anyway, like the blog.

  10. Dawn Summers Says:

    Thanks. I think the spelling difference will give my lawyer’s great credibility when they say any East Coco Beach’s resemblance to any place real or fictional is purely coincidental! ;)

  11. Dawn Summers Says:

    Thanks. I think the spelling difference will give my lawyer’s great credibility when they say any East Coco Beach’s resemblance to any place real or fictional is purely coincidental! ;)

  12. Dawn Summers Says:

    Thanks. I think the spelling difference will give my lawyer’s great credibility when they say any East Coco Beach’s resemblance to any place real or fictional is purely coincidental! ;)

  13. Dawn Summers Says:

    YOUseeME,

    You should come! Pizza slices on Kashei!

  14. Dawn Summers Says:

    YOUseeME,

    You should come! Pizza slices on Kashei!

  15. jason Says:

    I know what you mean. I live in Hell’s Kitchen and I swear I’ll deck the next person who calls it ‘Clinton’.

  16. jason Says:

    I know what you mean. I live in Hell’s Kitchen and I swear I’ll deck the next person who calls it ‘Clinton’.

  17. jason Says:

    I know what you mean. I live in Hell’s Kitchen and I swear I’ll deck the next person who calls it ‘Clinton’.

  18. Dawn Summers Says:

    No! Say it ain’t so “Hell’s Kitchen” is the perfect moniker that area. damn them.

  19. Dawn Summers Says:

    No! Say it ain’t so “Hell’s Kitchen” is the perfect moniker that area. damn them.

  20. Dawn Summers Says:

    No! Say it ain’t so “Hell’s Kitchen” is the perfect moniker that area. damn them.

  21. carol s Says:

    Hmmm, I was thinking Clinton was an area of Bklyn?! Hell’s Kitchen I can ‘see’ in my mind’s map. Clinton? Uh, no. So didja figure out where DUMBO is?! That name I saw in a NY Times article quite a few yrs ago about the then-planned revitalization of the area. Had no idea the name would actually stick!

  22. carol s Says:

    Hmmm, I was thinking Clinton was an area of Bklyn?! Hell’s Kitchen I can ‘see’ in my mind’s map. Clinton? Uh, no. So didja figure out where DUMBO is?! That name I saw in a NY Times article quite a few yrs ago about the then-planned revitalization of the area. Had no idea the name would actually stick!

  23. carol s Says:

    Hmmm, I was thinking Clinton was an area of Bklyn?! Hell’s Kitchen I can ‘see’ in my mind’s map. Clinton? Uh, no. So didja figure out where DUMBO is?! That name I saw in a NY Times article quite a few yrs ago about the then-planned revitalization of the area. Had no idea the name would actually stick!

  24. Dawn Summers Says:

    YOUseeME,

    You should come! Pizza slices on Kashei!

  25. Clareified » Blog Archive » Fight for Brooklyn’s Congressional 11th Says:

    [...] The good news is I was born and raised in Brooklyn’s 11th district. That the incumbent Congressman Owens, the only congressman I have ever known (DeLauro was a congresswoman, after all), was retiring and the race to replace him had turned into the most contentious and controversial Congressional campaign was pleasing. Good, it’s about time somebody was fighting to represent the ECB. I didn’t know who I would vote for, but since I was moving it didn’t much matter. Bad news is, it turns out, move or no move — I still live in Brooklyn’s 11th. Seriously, I’ve looked at the map of this district it spans like seventy blocks in either direction, people! In fact, wherever you may be reading this post from, might also be in Brooklyn’s 11th. So, listen up. The dirty facts are these: Major Owens has represented this district since time immemorial. (Ever watch the Cosby Show? Elvin is his son.) Well, no surprise, his other son has stepped up to replace the dad. Not so fast. A long time member of the Brooklyn Democratic party scene, Carl Andrews was all “hold up, it’s my turn!” “I’ve represented the people of Brooklyn for twenty odd years, you’re not just going to waltz in and take your dad’s seat.” Fine. What’s that voice out there? Oh helloooo, Yvette “did I say college graduate?” Clark. She’s all “Ok, I know I lost two years ago against Major Owens, but I think I can do it this time.” (Note too that Yvette took over her mom’s seat on the city council after her mom decided to take on Major Owens in 2000. That Clark also lost.) So there you have it, another Owens, another Clark and the mainstay Andrews battling it out for the one chance to represent me and mine in Washington. Let’s get ready… Huh? What’s that? Who moved where now? Yas-what? “Hi, David Yassky, nice to meet you. I just bought the house next door.” Indeed, Mr. Yassky represents the good people of Brooklyn Heights, Cobble Hill and some schmancy ass place called DUMBO. In order, a place once described as filled with the “most white people I’ve ever seen in my life,” “off-whiteyville” and well…dude who else would live in a place called DUMBO but misguided hipsters? Oh, did I forget to mention that Yassky was white. Cause if I did, I’m the only one. No article about Yassky gets much past his first name before saying “only white candidate.” So, this is a head scratcher. No love for the ECB, and now we’ve got more candidates than we know what to do with. Well, my mom knows what to do with them. A couple of weeks ago, she went down to the Social Security office to get her papers in order for retirement. She had called ahead and found out all the proofs of identification she would need. She brought that with her and was met with a detached, preoccupied federal employee. “That’s not enough, we need your original birth certificate,” so-about-to-be-sorry-federal-employee tells my mom. She tries to explain that she called ahead and had brought all the papers she was told to bring by the person on the phone. “Well, I don’t care what they told you on the phone, I’m telling you, you need to bring the original birth certificate,” she said between smacks of bubblegum and taking personal calls on her cell phone. Oooh, how sorry is this woman about to be? Let’s see. My mom leaves the SS office and goes home. She calls her congressman’s office. She explains the situation. They tell her there’s nothing they can do. “Nothing you can do? There’d better be something you can do. There is an election coming up and if this is how you treat constituents, you can bet I have voted for my last Owens. In fact, I’m voting for the white guy.” Yassky, mom. His name is Yassky. Then you can say the white guy. Well, one hour later, a representative from Congressman Owens’ office was at the SS office, with mom straightening out the whole mess. In the end, bubble gum chewing woman, who my mom made certain to point out how rude it was of her to be smacking gum during their conversation (She tells me the same thing all the time.), was asked to shut off her computer for the day and “bring her things,” to the supervisor’s office. D’oh. Since then, my mom has cornered Chris Owens about his plans for the ECB youth, (a disappointing “my kids go to public school” was his response) and “the white guy” on “what he plans to do for the seniors” (she liked his answer, but I don’t remember what it was.) But since my mother now votes for crazy Republicans, I figured it was time for me to make my own decisions. Enter the NY1 debate. I have to say I was very impressed with Chris Owens. He’s much older and distinguished than I thought. And he’s an Old LLP alum. He is against the new Nets stadium and the move to kick a hundred thousand people out of their neighborhood by virtue of eminent domain. I agree with him, although I do think it’s more of a state issue than a federal one. Yvette Clark is not even a consideration. She wanted her mom’s council seat. She got her mom’s council seat. She can stay in her mom’s council seat. And this latest revelation that she didn’t get her fricking undergraduate degree clinches it for me. Despite what Ken says, my congressperson is going to have a college degree. In Greenwich they have college degreed congressmen, the ECB will have no less. What do you think this is? Carl Andrews… Now, if ever there was a man that has paid his dues and followed the party line…tis he. Unfortunately that party line that he towed was written by the multi-indicted Clarence Norman. I know it’s probably unfair to judge a man by his friends, but… I don’t know. I guess I’d just rather my congressmen not come pre-corrupted. He should take the bribes and get indicted after a couple sessions, like the rest of the districts get. And then there’s the white guy. I mean Yassky. First off, if you see Al Sharpton can you please tell him that “Yassky is white,” is not an argument. Oh, and tell him that if I hear him utter the words “you wouldn’t want a black person to move into a white district and run,” he’ll be getting a strongly worded kick to the junk. (After all, my whole Summers 2020 presidential bid starts with winning the Wyoming House seat.) So, my issue with Yassky isn’t that he’s white. Who cares. My issue with Yassky is simple. Would he have moved to the ECB or whereever in Brooklyn’s 11th that he lives, if Major Owens wasn’t retiring? If so, why didn’t he move sooner? Why doesn’t he represent my neighborhood on the city council? Now, before anyone asks whether I voted for Hillary Clinton in 2000, I’ll say upfront that I did. However, the situation is completely different. And hinges on one question: do I believe that Hillary Clinton would have moved to New York if there was no Senate seat available. And I do. (Now, whether they would have moved to Chappaqua…) I’m fairly certain that whoever wins the seat will move to D.C. and will only be heard from every two years. With that in mind, it’d give me comfort that they had some background and time in the area. That they known the historical Congressional 11th, not just the utopic 11th that the gentrifiers have wrought. And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for gentrification — bring it on. But bring it in context without removing the people that were there before. I really shouldn’t have history with the district than the congressman. Otherwise, I should be the congressman…hmmm…how long till the primary? [...]

  26. Beach Says:

    I dont know either but it sounds like a great place to visit

  27. Clareified » Blog Archive » Shit Dawn Summers Says Says:

    [...] Where is East Coco Beach? [...]

  28. Ugarles Says:

    This neighborhood is best known for its children’s consignment shop.

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