Me(2:14:12 PM): I am eating key lime pie!
G-train (2:14:37 PM): Nice. In some ways, you are so easy to satisfy.
Me (2:14:54 PM): and yet — everyone pisses me off
G-train (2:15:05 PM): that’s because in most ways, you’re a total bitch to satisfy.
I can’t believe I rented this movie…but I loved this scene
Oh and Platoon sucked.
Key lime!
Key Lime Pie!
Congrats to the three happy couples planning Vegas nuptials this summer in a triple wedding performed by an Elvis impersonator.
I was told to keep it quiet but they rhyme with Falceste and Mawn Foo, G-train and DK and Maz and Fito.
And I am so not ddrunk blogging right nowp.
Wait…so Platoon’s not the movie with Marlon Brando in the jungle?
Think Spitzer still has the number for resignation? I need to make a call.
The last two weeks has been quite the crazy whirlwind. My mom was pretty sick and was scheduled for surgery Monday, but she responded to meds well and that’s been put off – which is good because I did shake my fist at ever entering a hospital again and once I shake my fist, I shake it but good. I, of course, decided the best way to deal with said stresses was to shove as many candy bars in my mouth as possible at one time. Luckily that number was only two. At the one time. But today’s outing to Chinatown to pick out bridesmaid’s dresses has been exactly the behavior correcting tool that I needed. Back to gym on Monday. And no more eating till November. All of which, I only mention to explain the lackluster blogging of late. Karol implored me to blog about something she’d care to read about and since domesticated Karol is evidently still violent, I thought I would oblige.
Click below if you would care to read about something I think Karol would care to read about. It’s long, poorly written, even worsely edited and not all that interesting. In a nutshell, it is Karol herself. Oops, forgot, she’s still violent.
Read the rest of this entry »
So Shea Stadium is named after a guy! A guy named Shea…well William, but his last name’s Shea. Like the stadium. I mean the man.
“I hope if I’m ever that gay that I’m happy at least.” -Ari on the recent “nesting” behavior of her friend.
I’ve been listening to lots of music from the 60s and 70s lately. I think I’m growing up to be a hippie.
Did you see that episode of The Office where they get locked in? WORST.EPISODE.EVER. I mean even worse than the pilot. JEEEZ.
Lost: Great show that has absolutely nothing to do with the preceding seasons.
Law & Order and SVU: When did these shows become unwatchable. You know, by sane people who are not me and know when to stop.
Grey’s Anatomy and My Name is Earl: Whoo, everybody’s gone gay. Dental dam sales through the roof in TV land.
30 Rock: How good is this show? “I don’t vote Republican or Democrat, choosing is a sin. I just write in the Lord’s name.” “Oh, then you’re one of ours. We count those.”
House: I love that he shares custody of Wilson with his girlfriend. HAHAHAHAHAH “If you want people to drive safer take out the airbags and attach a machete pointing at their neck. No one will drive over three miles an hour. Though as someone who managed to get from NY to Maryland in slightly over two hours last month…because her car evidently can go 109 mph with very little provocation from my right foot…I dunno.
Clinton asks superdelegates to commit to her privately.
I’m sad. Feel free to use the comment section to cheer me up. Pre blond hair pictures of Clay a plus. Or, you know, stories about how Gisele tragically disappeared never to be heard from again.
Sigh.
Pooooooooke.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA.
Removing sharp objects now.
Back later this week. Off to serve Operation Close the Gap!
Hillary ‘08
I want Oliver Perez’ hands brought to my office by noon on Friday. Just his hands.
A cry for help should make some effort at correct spelling.
It is forty-six degrees, I am wearing a sweater AND a jacket and I am freezing.
I kill you May.
How long till June?
Is it me or has postsecret become seriously lame in the last month or so?
It used to be that this was the case
But these days the secrets are just dumb…hmmm…or perhaps my own secrets have just become more interesting.
And no, Karol, you’re still not getting the pole pictures.
If I start a Catholic blog I’m calling it Notgoingtodoanyoftheseven.blogspot.com
“Look, he’s one of those people that thinks he’s a good guy, but he’s really not.” -G-train
This is so me. And not the guy answering the door either. Yeah…I’m that other guy. The one knocking. The one that knows that we didn’t like each other in school but will still add you as a friend. What? I have a facebook problem. And their names are Karol and Ugarles. So until I have more facebook friends than Karol and Ugarles I will keep knocking on your door dammit!!! ADDDDDD MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I don’t poke anymore, though. Or play Scrabulous.
But, as soon as I understand what the hell is going on in Scramble, we might be playing that.
And I might throw sheep. Yes, we’re looking at you pearatty.
ADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD MMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I can’t say anything specific, but I just got some really good news. And am very happy. I DON’T SUCK!!! Much.
And now Sprokets, we dance.
Just weeks after announcing her divorce from allegedly gay husband, Star Jones linked with Dwayne Wade!
ATLANTA (AP) — Dwyane Wade has finally spoken up about his alleged romance with Star Jones: “Star is an unbelievable woman. We have a great, great relationship. As friends.”
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“We’re friends, just like a lot of celebrities. We are friends,” the Miami Heat star said Thursday during a guest appearance on “Inside the NBA,” the jocular TNT show featuring Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith and Ernie Johnson.
I was matched against this person tonight that, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out whether the person was male or female. It’s quite distracting trying to anagram random letters under time pressure when the only thing your mind is doing is a sequence of “wait…I think it has a mustache”…”hmm…but those might be boobs…or they might be manboobs…why won’t it move its hand so I can see if it has an Adam’s apple!…oh, crap…the clock!”
And then to make things worse its name was Billy!!! What the hell am I supposed to do with that??! A grown person should not be going by a genderless nickname. It’s unseemly. Man up, be William. Or woman up and be…what is the woman’s longform for Billy? Willamena?
There is a surprisingly high incidence of this androginism on the Scrabble circuit. And it disturbs me to no end. And thus, we come to today’s audience weekend participation hypothesis or rather a request for confirmation of what I already suspect…There is no way to ask someone if they are male or female. Right?
I mean, you can ask it as politely as you please…you’re still getting punched in the face…or slapped. Right? Right?
So far I’ve only come up with:
“Um…I know you must get this a lot but um…are you a chick or a dude?”
But no…right? I CAN’T!!! I MUSN’T!! MUSN’T!!!!
I saw a garbagewoman today! Er…female sanitation worker?
Wow, did April suck.
