Where does the good go

The End

January 3rd, 2016 by Dawn Summers

Football season gets shorter every year. Whilst baseball season lasts till October. It’s crazy.

I can’t believe I didn’t blog the Patriots winning the Super Bowl and the Mets going to the World Series. 2015 was bananas, let me tell you something.

Yes, please!

January 2nd, 2016 by Dawn Summers

I finished Amy Poehler’s autobiography yesterday. I alternated between violently hating it and desperately wanting everyone in the world to read it. It’s better than Tina Fey’s Bossypants. She seems cool, but there’s a whole chapter about going to Haiti that seemed… i dunno…pretentious? But she admits as much, adding “who the fuck cares why people help, just hope they do.” And well, that’s true too.

Happy 2016

January 1st, 2016 by Dawn Summers

Jesus Christ. It’s 2016. I can’t believe it’s 2016. Honestly, I have been in a state of light amazement every year since 2000. I mean, TWO THOUSAND! And then 2001! That was a WHOLE movie!


My God.

Well, anyway, hear we are. Or, I am, anyway. I can’t imagine, I have any readers left. Which is fine. It was a rude awakening the day I discovered my blog wasn’t the adored, charming offering to the world, I had intended it. It made me feel badly, which in turn annoyed me, because there is so much to feel badly about in the world everyday that for my blog to turn on me as well, seemed, unfair.

Unfair, indeed.

But now, all those people and problems are gone. Maybe they’re dead, I wouldn’t know, I quit Facebook too, for similar reasons.

I am free now. And it’s 2016.

July Movie Reviews

July 26th, 2014 by Dawn Summers

The Big Chill

This movie was okay. The best thing I can say about it is that they cut Kevin Costner. The movie is about friends whose college friend kills himself and they spend the weekend hashing out old grudges and deciding who gets to sleep with the dead guy’s twenty-year-old girlfriend next. The impotent Vietnam vet wins.

The Paperboy

All Zac Efron movies start off with four stars. Zac Efron movies where he is wet and shirtless 90 percent of the time, start off with nine hundred stars. The movie is about Matthew McConaughey who is a journalist trying to free a death row inmate who he thinks is innocent. He comes with a British black assistant and an unrecognizable Nicole Kidman plays the convict’s girlfriend. John Cusack plays the convict. You’d think this movie would be AMAZING, wouldn’t you. Well, Zac Efron is wet and half naked for most of it. AND it’s better than Crash.

Not Fade Away

This movie is awful. I went through an obsessed with the Sopranos phase in June, so I watched this cause the same guy directed it and it stars Tony Soprano. But YARF. It’s a crappy period piece about some shitty cover singer who wants to make it and so some stupid shit happens and his dad or cancer or something. Blargh. AW. FULL.


One of the Sopranos characters is obsessed with this movie, so I thought I’d rewatch it. I LOVED this when I saw it in the theater, but it does not hold up. This movie is not good. It’s predictable, clichéd and kinda silly. There are maybe twenty awesome minutes – mostly the beginning and the end. The rest is drivel. The Oscars are so dumb.


This movie is about a man who kills the old lady he either works for or is involved with. It’s an actually well executed fauxumentary. Weird McConaughey is in this too. The movie stars Jack Black as the man and is funny and compelling. The reality that this dude was caught with a dead body in his freezer but is free, because a Hollywood director vouched for him… well… that’s disturbing.

Burning Man

Good lord is this movie horrendous. It’s about a family and then the mom gets cancer and dies and the dad goes crazy and the son goes to live with his aunt or something. It’s Australian. Also bad.

After Tiller

This is a documentary about how late term abortion doctors are so harassed and murdered in America that there are only FOUR left. Jesus. It follows various women who get abortions and the doctors and it’s just heartbreaking all the way through.

SEC Storied: Going Big

This is about the guy who got drafted ahead of Michael Jordan. I watched it because I assume this will be a bar trivia question some day…but now I can’t remember his name again. D’oh. Needless to say, the guy was a bust. Not worth the watch.


The fucking movie is HORRIBLE. Why is Woody Allen celebrated for this? The writing is crap, the acting is crappier, the plot is implausible. None of the characters are believable. UGH and he’s dating a teenager WHO HE PICKS UP AT SCHOOL? Disgusting.

Gideon’s Army

This is a documentary about legal aid lawyers and how poorly paid and overworked they are. It’s good. I mean, not the life of a legal aid lawyer or their clients… the documentary.

The Woman Who Wasn’t There

This is a documentary about a Spanish woman who pretended to work in Tower 1 and pretended to have a husband who died in Tower 2 during the 9/11 attacks. The film ultimately unsatisfying because it never interviews the woman or answers the question WHY THE FUCK DID SHE DO THAT?

Reasonable Doubt

I went back and forth on this movie. At first, I thought it was awesome. It’s about a hard nosed prosecutor who ends up hitting and running a guy AND THEN PROSECUTING SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE DEATH! But then it takes a turn, which I won’t spoiler and it got even more awesome and then the end. Blargh. Samuel L Jackson is in it.

The Invisible Woman

This is about the woman Charles Dickens left his wife and seven kids for. You all know how I feel about adultery. Blech. The movie ruined one of my favorite writers. I’m mad.


Spike Lee’s remake actually stuck pretty closely to the original. But since I already knew how the story ended, it wasn’t as powerful as the original. Just watch the original.

Soldiers of Fortune

This is kind of a dumb mindless watch. A dishonorably discharged renegade soldier is hired by a company to lead a “fantasy camp” for a bunch of rich dudes who want to play at war. Then, whoops, they end up in an actual war. It has moments, though, not many.


OH MY FUCKING GOD. OKAY. I saw this movie with Mary and I was so angry that I was googling articles about it for DAYS after. It’s about these brothers who meet at their dad’s funeral and the one brother decides to fake his death using the body of the other brother. Unfortunately, the brother fucks it all up by surviving. BUT HERE’S THE THING. ONE BROTHER IS BLACK AND THE OTHER IS WHITE. YET NO ONE SEEMS TO NOTICE! Not his plastic surgeon, who has before pictures that she’s using to recraft his face nor the chick that raised the murderous brother. They’re all la lalala oh you look just the same. NO HE FUCKING DOESN’T! *throws remote*

Grudge Match

Okay, don’t laugh. This movie was kinda awesome. It’s De niro and Stallone as aging boxers with a history. Financial difficulties force Stallone to accept a rubber match fight fifty years after he beat De Niro. It’s funny, touching and the ending is a surprise.

The Lunchbox

This is a Bollywood movie about two people who fall in love without ever meeting. He mistakeningly gets the lunch she has prepared for her husband. There’s no singing though.

Cold Comes the Night

This movie is weird, but I think I liked it. It stars Walter White as an aging assassin/dealer who loses his “package” he then blackmails a motel clerk into helping him get it back. Things go awry.

The Bag Man

This movie is so incredibly dumb. Why do all modern-day John Cusack movies stink?

The Secret of My Success

This movie is trash. Oh, the eighties, why did we not realize you were terrible? I rented this cause a clip shows up in the Second season of Orange is the new black and I thought there was some message. There wasn’t. I just watched this shitty Michael J. Fox movie for no reason.

The Legend of Hercules

Like Gladiator, this movie has maybe fifteen exciting minutes – mostly at the end, the rest is drivel. Skip.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

I actually thought this movie was way funnier than the original, although it does repeat many of the same gags. Oh, and it still isn’t that great.


Wow I watched a lot of movies featuring arena fighting… this one has Game of Throne’s Jon Snow chasing Jack Bauer on horseback. It’s not good.


Okay, this movie is like forty-five hours long and you have NO idea what’s happening until the last fifteen minutes. It’s not a bad movie and the end is satisfying, BUT DAMN you put in a lot of work to get there. Oh, it’s about two girls who are kidnapped from the same street where a string of kidnapping happened ten years prior. The fathers take the search into their own hands. But the truth is more complicated than they could ever imagine!

I’m obsessed with Passenger

July 9th, 2014 by Dawn Summers

Passenger – The Wrong Direction – Official video

Happy Birthday to me…

July 8th, 2014 by Dawn Summers

…the rooting tootingiest slack blogger!

Poetry Wednesday

May 28th, 2014 by Dawn Summers

The legendary Maya Angelou died this morning, watching TV alone. So much of her work has touched my life at various stages that it was hard to choose one to feature, or easy, I guess, since I can’t get it wrong.

The Detached
Maya Angelou

We die,
Welcoming Bluebeards to our darkening closets,
Stranglers to our outstretched necks,
Stranglers, who neither care nor
care to know that

We pray,
Savoring sweet the teethed lies,
Bellying the grounds before alien gods,
Gods, who neither know nor
wish to know that

We love,
Rubbing the nakednesses with gloved hands,
Inverting our mouths in tongued kisses,
Kisses that neither touch nor
care to touch if


Mother, May I?

May 8th, 2014 by Dawn Summers

Get it?


Mother’s Day!

Mother May I?

Why do I give you guys this stuff for FREE?

So, my peoples what’s new? What’s happening? Your hockey team crapping out in the Stanley Cup Playoff? Yeah, mine too. It sucks. I’m also losing in the Stephane/Vinny hockey pool heads up match. Which, since I never lose to that fool heads up, leads me to believe hockey and all things hockey are racist. Let us never speak of them again.

Not much else is going on here, except I watched some movies, wanna hear about them? Here it goes:

Mean Girls

Well, one month after declaring myself too old for high school movies, I found myself streaming this little chestnut on Netflix. Um. This movie is awful. TELL YOUR FRIENDS. So, this movie has been heralded through the ages for what, exactly? Ooh, Tina Fey writing it? Good for her. It’s not a good movie for girls — wow, does this movie HATE girls. It’s not a good movie for gay kids (why is the gay guy in the girls only gym meeting?) It’s not a good movie for racial or ethnic minorities (She lived in “Africa” — you know, someplace savage like that to prepare her for savagery of High School. See? aren’t we clever! let’s insert tigers taking down zebras for emphasis.) Eye. Motherfucking. Roll. This movie is bullshit on a sandwich.

Mean Girls 2

Much better than the original, if only because it involves a football game, but still wretched. It’s basically set at the same high school ten years later with different kids. The stereotypes are less offensive.


I feel like I did see this movie a billion years ago, but I didn’t really remember it. Basically, serial killers start offing the popular kids at school. One of them has a change of heart and kills the other one. I would prefer if the movie was just the dark imaginings of Winona Ryder because, otherwise, wow, the police are dumb as hell. But it’s unclear. It’s okay.

Tender Mercies

I have no idea why I rented this movie set in the 1970s about a washed up country singer who gets a job at a gas station and ends up marrying the widow owner and becoming a stepfather to her 8-year-old son. It’s not good.

Liberal Arts

This movie is almost the perfect film. Nothing explodes — but it’s got Zac Efron, it’s well written and tugs on all the nostalgia strings. I highly recommend it — you think it’s gonna be all cliched and gross, but then it’s not. It’ll make you want to call up your favorite teacher and tell them thanks. Unless, you hate phones.

Delivery Man

I actually thought this flick about a man finding out his sperm donations have fathered more than 500 children worked. Vince Vaughn plays the lead, a slacker who works in the family meat shop who is forced to grow up quickly because his girlfriend is pregnant (
Robin from How I Met Your Mother — she and that whole relationship, are the weakest parts of the movie.) Basically, he finds out the news, then tracks down the kids one by one and tries to help their lives anonymously.

Blue Caprice

This movie about the Beltway snipers is eery. The movie concentrates on Lee malvo’s relationship with John Muhammed before they start out on the spree. It’s super creepy. I think it’s good, but creepy.

Saving Mr. Banks

This movie about the making of Mary Poppins is awful. It’s super misogynistic, though that may be a product of the time, but not cool. Ugh. Tom Hanks as Disney is fine, but they make the creator of Mary Poppins so unreasonable and unlikable that you are just angry and uncomfortable through the whole thing. And heck, that may be how the lady really was, but guess what, then don’t make a movie about her.

Ain’t Them Bodies Saints

I have no idea what this title is on about, but the movie is pretty good. It’s about a Bonnie and Clyde-ish couple that gets in a shoot out with the cops, but since the chick is pregnant, the man gives himself up and takes the rap for the all the crimes. Then the cop she shot falls in love with her and wants to marry her and father the kid, but the convict dad is all “I’m coming back for you both,” and then he breaks out of jail. Dun dun dun.

Kill Your Darlings

Booooooo. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I will never be here for the romanticization of real life murderers — especially when they’re ivy league educated, white male murderers and druggies. FUUUUCCCKKKKK TTTHHHEEEEEMMMMM. Oh, this movie is about Burroughs and the On the Road guy and Allen Ginsberg and how they murdered/helped cover up the murder of this gay guy. Of course, nothing happens to them and they go on to have successful publishing careers. I repeat, fuuuuuccccckkkk ttthhhhheeeeeemmmmmm.

Read the rest

April movie reviews

April 11th, 2014 by Dawn Summers

I’ve been writing monthly movie reviews for too long, I’m literally cycling through old titles now…but here we go!


This movie is a modern day update of the Pride and Prejudice story. Homely spinster (eyeroll) Kerri Russell is all thirty and unmarried, so she spends her life savings to go to “Austenland,” a live action reenactment of Jane Austen’s ubiquitous love story. It’s okay.

At Middleton

Um… the lady from the Bates Motel TV show and Andy Garcia are polar opposites taking their teens on a campus visit to Middleton. She drives him crazy with her interrupting and he makes her nuts with his uptightness! Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Meh. It’s okay.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

Um… that guy from the Office and Steve Buscemi are partners in a Las Vegas magic show, but after ten years together, and a hot new magic act, Jim Carrey, breathing down their necks, they try to shake things up, but it all falls apart and James Gandolfini fires them. It’s okay.

For a Good Time, Call
UGH. I have this “no live action movie under 90 minutes is any good” rule. This piece of garbage is 84 minutes. It’s hot garbage. Two women — one a bootleg Bette Midler– start a sex hotline together. Are there even still sex hotlines out there? So DUMB.

Save the Date

Hmm…I cannot remember what this movie is about…OH. Two sisters are planning the older sister’s wedding. She is uptight, younger sister is flighty. Hinjinks, as they say, ensue. It was good.

The Sessions

This movie is about a handicapped man hiring a sex counselor to teach him how to have sex even though he’s paralyzed from the neck down. I have no idea why I rented this, but I did…and I watched it and it was exactly what it said it would be. His confidante through the whole process is a roman catholic priest, so I didn’t like that, as, well…I don’t think a roman catholic priest would do such a thing.


Um… I don’t know why crack is making this big comeback in stories about middle class white people, but here we are. This movie is about a young couple who go out and get loaded every night, but when the woman half of the couple yarfs in front of her kindergarten class and has to fake being pregnant to explain away her party foul, she decides to go to AA and clean up her act. Also, she smokes crack.

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
I didn’t learn much about apartheid or Nelson Mandela from this movie– which is odd considering it’s asposed to be about Nelson Mandela’s long walk to freedom from *apartheid.* I was fascinated, though, by the character of Winnie Mandela. First off, she is portrayed as an aggressor, both in the courtship AND in the “struggle.” Also, the make up people do not age her *at all* until the very last scene after Nelson has left her. I think we’re supposed to ”
feel sorry for her” but I mostly felt ashamed of the men around her who couldn’t support her. I don’t know the real life story of how she ended up jailed for corruption and whatnot, but I’m suddenly much more interested in the “Winnie Mandela: Long Walk to Vilification” story.


I’ve seen this movie like ten times (and I saw the off broadway show when I was a kid.) I love it. Everyone should see it. I learn new things about apartheid every time I watch it. Great movie. PLUS: SINGING AND DANCING!

Total Recall

I watched the original, with the former Governor of California, a couple of years ago (oh, not with him, starring him. I have never met the former Governor, nor been alone with him, I won’t be taking any more questions, this press conference is OVER.) and I fell asleep. I don’t know why I rented the remake cause I also fell asleep during it. Total Recall is just a boring premise for a movie.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I think I’m officially too old for these “coming of age” movies about tortured high schoolers. Oh, no one will sit with me in the lunchroom, ehrmagosh my paper is like totally due TOMORROW, AAHH THE SATs. Eyeroll. I’m sorry, I don’t care. Lawn comma get off of my.

The Kings of Summer

Eh. Three boys decide to run away from home and build a house for themselves in the woods. Then a girl comes between them and ruins everything. Chicks are the worst, amirite? Yawn.


Two boys run away from home and find a boat in a tree and then discover a convict has been hiding out in it. So, OF COURSE, they decide to help him. Double Yawn. Hmmm… all these horrible movies are about white boys. Why is that? Why are white boys always running away and why is Hollywood always writing movies about sad lonely white American boys and how hard life is for them? TUH. Lemmee go rewatch Sarafina.

Read the rest

House of Cards

March 27th, 2014 by Dawn Summers


There was a whole discussion in my comments section and I TOTALLY missed it, so now I’m going to write a post about it.

House of Cards. Hmmm I binge watched both seasons on Valentine’s Day weekend on consecutive years.

Oh wait… I guess I don’t want to spoiler anything. So I’ll move my thoughts to the comment section.