Clareified

and Sarah Palin resigns?

Guessing that having finally had the chance to leave Alaska, she had no further desire to stay in Alaska.

Or…

What leaves Alaska never fucking goes back to Alaska.

*look lady the phrase “it’s probably benign” is NOT useful

*I need two fillings, a bond and a cleaning. I have one thing to say to whoever gave me dental insurance: SUCKA!

*Hearts President Obama! He’s so tall and wonderful and awesome and chocolately

*Have I told you lately that I LOVE BARACK OBAMA? No? Really? I coulda sworn…well, nevermind I LOVE BARACK OBAMA!!!

*just saw a raccoon as big as a dog. I didn’t overreact at all. There was no running into the street or screaming.

*Is changing all the words in a Bill Withers song so that I am wishing myself well. ” I wish me truckloads of cheer; hope I laugh out loud!”

*hahaha Sorry, buddy. You must not have gotten the memo: I don’t put up with bullshit anymore. Try to holla at me three years ago.

*When the three celebrities die, do three more rise in their place? Like did someone just call up Sanjaya and say “get in there, kid!”

*Ok, is it wrong that I unfollowed Tina Fey cause she said the “Kit Kat” was her favorite chocolate bar? IT’S BARELY CHOCOLATE AT ALL!

*Huh. In Canada 39 degrees comes with *humidity* #CanadaFail

*coworkers are bashing Gov. Paterson. Contemplating asking if it’s because he’s black and making them feel uncomfortable.

*And just when the silence becomes awkwardly unbearable, going “Just kidding. He’s blind. Probably doesn’t even know he’s black.”

*hahaha heard someone coming and I could not quickly find a single window on my screen that didn’t contain proof I was goofing off #hatemyjob

*Woman whose name I don’t know, existence I barely remember apologized to me cuz she thinks I said GN yesterday and she didnt say it back.

*FUCK For some reason thought 8-2 was 4 and that I had 4 hours left at work. NOW I HAVE FIVE HOURS LEFT! #MathFail #KillMe

*hates people who fake asking permission. “Mind if I change the channel?” but the remote’s already in their hand. #grrr

*Having fun writing happy birthday notes to an almost 1 year old: “Dear Ryan, I assume I am your favorite fake aunt. Unless you are racist.”

*has 1 hour and 5 minutes to go before she blows this popsicle stand. MMM popsicles.

*You know what I don’t like about promotions with “no raise but more responsibility”? The lack of a raise and increased responsibility. #FAIL

*Has taken a new job amusing @Karols for $2 a joke. BMW should be paid off by Friday.

*Kinda wants to ask the guy behind her how many documents he has finished so she can decide if she should be tweeting less. Or tweeting more.

*This one’s for Alceste: Little miss, little miss, little miss can’t be wrong!

Tweetversation:

@Karols: I swear I knew it was the 70th when the cop didn’t want to take the report. Worst precinct of all time. Louima precinct. Get your report and get outta there.
@Me: I’m trying, Vasya! But if I see anyone with plungers, I’m leaving without the report!

Another All Williams Wimbledon Finals!! U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A

Job losses in June reach 9.5%.

Just like the Republicans predicted, these are the highest levels of national unemployment in 26 years… when Jimmy Carter was President!

Oh. Wait.

I did not need to know that I can drive from my house to my job in 17 minutes.

I did need to know that it costs $40 to park my car for the day.

Doctor: Oh my gosh! Aren’t you just the cutest? How old are you?
Me: 33.
Doctor: Oh. Um…okay, so what brings you here today?

I blame the scrunchy and ponytail.

Nominations for unluckiest man in America are closed. We have a winner.

Gary Condit, tell him what he’s won.

“Sure…but with me and you, I think that’s just two votes.” - My mother’s assessment of my mayoral campaign. She clearly does not understand the groundswell of support for dawnsummerswho?

Dawn Summers Who: Come On, She’s More Like You

If this blog and all iterations of my Dawn Summers persona disappears in the next few weeks it is because I have declared my candidacy for Mayor of New York City.

Oh, does anyone know how to make this blog and all iterations of my Dawn Summers persona disappear?

Oh, and if you guys keep your mouths shut, I’ll let you get away with one ticket for speeding or less. Code word: Dawnsummerswho?

Oh, and if you live in New York City, please vote for me. I will be the candidate using the recycled Ferrer posters that read “Vote for me. I’m more like you. Coommeee Ooonnn.”

For further info on my key issue: www.twitter.com/realdawnsummers

And lastly, I love puppies.

Single black women choosing to adopt